How the rich think about money

[depechemodefan]

I started a new job for a person I guess is rich. She is paying $25hr, 5 hours a day, 5 days a week. I first understood I drive her places, make her breakfast and lunch. Of course, now I'm expected to change air filters, and one vent is 14 feet above. I think she is rich because she took her previous cartaker to France for 2 weeks, paid for first class airfare for both. $25/hour is really good for h.s. graduate here in Houston. She broke her leg some time in the past by falling down her stairs. A few days before her last trip in May she broke her leg again. Of course she didn't cancel her trip, it would cost her money, instead of staying home and healing.
How rich people think:

• She told me about her son marrying 20 years ago and he came to complain about his wife not cleaning, and this woman tells her son, "you both have good jobs, hire a maid."
• She is paying me $25/hour.
• She pays a person to clean her house every 2 weeks.
• She pays gardeners.
• Does not know that you can buy an I phone charging cable anywhere else besides the Apple store. She only has one I phone charging cord. It isn't working. I said we can get it at CVS or Walgreens or T-mobile. She didn't know that. I will say, she might be dumb, but so far I don't see any evidence she is dumb.

Also:

• She tells me to turn off the lights, because, "I don't know where you live, lights cost money."
• I find some HEB grocery bags in a kitchen drawer. Friday we go grocery shopping to HEB. She sees me bringing the bags, and she asks me what am I doing. I say I'm taking them to the store for our shopping. She says "You don't have to pay for bags, they are free. I use the bags to line my bathroom trashcan."
• She will buy me breakfast before grocery shopping. She doesn't ask me what I want, so what ever. She splits a plate of the "special". So she gets a pancake, shitload of hash, and scramble eggs. That is all I get too. I ask her if I can have a Topo Chico (sparkling water), she nods. She then asks the cashier what "Topo Chico" is. I show the bottle. Anyway, she got mad I didn't finish my plate, and latter brings up a lot I bought a drink. She told me she would pay for my meal before several times this week.
• She gets me my pay, then complains about paying me for an hour I didn't work since I have to leave early, though we talked several times about me working extra next week to make it up.
• I ask if I can buy a drink at the store she says no, "buy it with your own money, with the $25 I paid you that you didn't work."
• She has a woman come in every 2 weeks to clean. So the house doesn't seem filthy to me but the toilets get cleaned every 2 weeks.

So rich people don't mind spending money for certain things, I guess for comfort or status, I need more research. But they will count every single penny. I don't expect her to pay me for time I didn't work, but she just loves rubbing my face into it a lot. And I'm not saying only rich people count every penny. This woman was being vicous about it. Not all rich people are like this. I do remember reading this book a nanny wrote about a Hollywood agent. The wife didn't want one of the maids to throw away a iron just because the cord was frayed and not safe. This wife wanted the cord to be replaced instead of buying a new one.

[Ironclad Alibi]

I wonder how old she is? What I am seeing in your description is something we call depression era mentality (link 1, link 2). This is a condition of not only the people who lived through or grew up in the Great Depression of the 1930s, but their children also (that's me, for one). Some habits learned are hard to break, like not leaving lights on and cleaning your plate (think of the starving children in Africa). I have had to train myself to replace instead of fix, although our society is slowly getting back to fix instead of replace for environmental rather than financial reasons.

[dalesys]

My Dad (1927-2022) grue(sic) up on a farm in Cache Valley, Utah remembered the winter almost all they had to eat were home-canned tomatoes...

[depechemodefan]

Yeah, I understand. My dad grew up in the Great Depression. He had to hunt for possums and racoons so his siblings could eat. He told me one day a bag of flour fell off a truck so his grand mother made biscuits. It took till my 40's for me to think he might have meant he stole the flour off a truck (think of mobster movies where stuff happens to fall off trucks) but my father was an honest person, as much as I remember him.

My employer takes pain meds. I don't know if they cloud her thinking. But she reminds me of some dementia patients. For example, my husband's mother's family had a lot of members who had alzheimers. She started to get dementia, and accuse me of stealing silverwear. After my mom died six years before, she couldn't remember my mother died, so she would ask how was she. So I would respond, "she's fine." Reminding her my mother was dead would be depressing for her. Also, she would feel bad that she forgot. I don't know if this woman has dementia, though.

When we are at my employers' house and I cooked on Monday, she told me to put away some rice that was left over in the fridge. Next day, she had her breakfast of bread and cheese. There was some cheese left over; she told me to throw away any left overs, but I didn't want to waste the cheese so I ate it. I'm a person who doesn't like to leave food on a plate. Next day there was bread left over from lunch and I put it in a plastic bag and she asked me what I was doing. I told her I was putting it away. She says to throw away left overs. Next day there were leftovers, and she told me I could take them home, just return the containers.

She also told me to throw away expired (uncooked) food, though I asked about spegetti and she said pasta doesn't go bad. I told her the olive oil tasted bad to me, I want to buy new. I had cooked with it and she said it tasted fine. So next day I find the olive oil on the counter. She said she found the olive oil, I don't need to buy any. I said it tasted old. I bought new on Friday, so let's see on Monday if she is going to run down the list and tell me I shouldn't have bought olive oil, we have it, it cost money.

[RealUnimportant]

It's less that she doesn't understand money, it's that it's her money and she doesn't want you to benefit from it. Her leaving lights on wouldn't be an issue, her leaving food wouldn't be an issue, but because she's paying for it for you you have to show gratitude and appreciate every cent.

[depechemodefan]

I wanted to nickname her "Smaug," like Smaug would say, "I will not part with a single coin! Not one piece of it!" Except I think Smaug is cool. Promises doesn't cost her anything except her word.. But I guess money means more to her then her word. oh, I get to eat with her when I make food for both of us. But cooking for one cost maybe as much as cooking for two. I can see her saying to her friends, "oh yes, I let her eat the same meal I eat at my home" but also, "you don't know how ungrateful she is! I paid for her meal and she didn't finish it! She wasted my money!"

[workerbee222]

I don't mind splitting an entree' with my domestic partner, but splitting a meal with my boss would be just awkward. Can you eat before you go to work?

I'd make a point of bringing my own meals/snacks/whatever, and mention revisiting the employment agreement, since she "seems to be having second thoughts about your compensation."

[depechemodefan]

I don't mind splitting an entree' with my domestic partner, but splitting a meal with my boss would be just awkward. Can you eat before you go to work?

I did eat before work. I just eat little at a time, so I was hungry when we went to breakfast but I didn't realize I wouldn't be able to order my own food or else I would have ordered something small.

I'd make a point of bringing my own meals/snacks/whatever, and mention revisiting the employment agreement, since she "seems to be having second thoughts about your compensation."

oh, I told the story about being called on Sunday and having been let go.