Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[catcul]

The proper way to ask to go home early is not yelling, "Let me out, Screw!"

[drunkenwildmage]

'Apparently because no one knows how to read their fucking email' is not considered a proper response when asked a question.

[catcul]

When my teammate left our team for another job, I was not allowed to sing Bye Bye Beautiful or say, "You're now dead to us."

[AkaiKitsune]

I am not allowed to bribe coworkers with chocolate to “skip enthusiastically” the rest of their shift. Getting the entire front end to skip around during every task (from going point a to point be, emptying trash, vacuuming, putting out stock, and leading customers to product, etc). Not even pointing out that skipping is exercise and thus healthy for you so therefore it follows our “be healthy” company line will work. Having the entire front end staff cackling like hyenas every time someone had to leave their till for something probably had something to do with it.

[LadyofArc]

I am not allowed to proclaim the respiratory registrar is cute

Nor am I allowed to announce that my coworker (who's about 10+ years older than me) thinks he's cute.

[Kit-Ginevra]

But do you think he's cute?
As for RR may l suggest you try 'nothing ill can live in so fair a temple'...

[catcul]

If I let someone eat my pizza, I'm not allowed to say, "So, do you like my sausage?"

[TheWolfEmperor]

Just because the new managers came from another store does not make them, "Earther scum!"

I am not a Belter and I am not to address the customers in Belter Creole.

Making vegan lasagna is cool and people are probably more interested in the recipe I found online than how it makes my farts smell.

It's a fire drill, not an "air censor alarm".

The VR Empathy training is not NSFW.

[AkaiKitsune]

Honesty is not always the best policy. When asked how I managed to get all the cleanup, breaks, extra work and balancing while maintaining customer satisfaction I am not allowed to reply “bribery, the most efficient motivational tool.” Even if it is true and it does get shit done.

If I can’t beat them with the stick (what with labour laws and worksafeBC having rules and whatnot”). I will dangle the chocolate in front of them (nobody wants a carrot, chocolate is better for motivation)

[LadyofArc]

But do you think he's cute?
As for RR may l suggest you try 'nothing ill can live in so fair a temple'...

He kind of is. He's also one of my favourite fellows/registrars to work with for the meetings as he's really engaged in the topic and also doesn't talk down to me or any of my team mates. (The fellows/registars are basically responsible for writing up the cases to present and also presenting a research project from time to time)

To clarify:

Registrar = Basically 3-4 years out of med school, may or may not be undertaking further specialist study in a particular area.

Fellow = currently studying their specialty or almost finished in their specialty.

Registars will typically stick around for at least 12-18 months, fellows slightly less.

[AkaiKitsune]

This is a really old one FYI.

I am not allowed to “kill it with fire”. Even if it’s 8 beady eyes are staring at me and it’s the size of a dinner plate. No, “8 legs is 4 legs to many” is not a valid reason for how the gate house got burned down. That “at least I got the fucker” is irrelevant.

We were told there was a spider that was while non-lethal would still have you pumped full of the not so wonderful drugs. It looked a lot like it’s entirely harmless cousin who was also the same colour and size. I think the idea was that we were supposed to leave all local wildlife alone lest it eat us, poison us, suck out our souls, or get us into some other mischief unheard of. Needless to say it didn’t work.

[catcul]

It's not a good idea to call the server in Calabash, "The Shrimp Server," especially since the shortest member of our team is checking my work.

[LadyofArc]

When you get told that you have to wear scrubs into the operating theatre tea room, don't ask if you can take a selfie while wearing them. (Actual context for this - meeting a doctor next week in said tea room to prepare for an upcoming meeting)

[Kit-Ginevra]

Apparently no-one wants to see the Genital Dance no matter how spectacular and creative is it, it is not considered an acceptable way to greet customers...

[smfrazier]

Sing "Take This Job It"