Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[JoitheArtist]

I am not allowed to leave food at my desk overnight.

I am, however, allowed to place gummi centipedes on my coworkers' keyboards when they are gone at lunch, and laugh hysterically when they freak out later.

[fireheart]

-Singing the naughty version of "Frosty The Snowman" is NOT appropriate at band practice OR at work.

[nomorecarts]

which one? frosty the pervert?

[fireheart]

My version nomorecarts, goes a bit like this:

Frosty the Snowman, wearing leather and a whip,
He dominates all his Christmas mates,
And spreads his good white cheer

[nomorecarts]

so when "saw mommy kissing santa claus" plays I shouldn't sing "I saw mommy fucking santa claus"?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

A belch is not an acceptable way to answer the break-room phone.
Even if I'm certain it's for me.

[Racket_Man]

A belch is not an acceptable way to answer the break-room phone.
Even if I'm certain it's for me.

Dang IT!!! violated Rule #1 THANKS Irv

[SteeleDragon78]

A belch is not an acceptable way to answer the break-room phone.
Even if I'm certain it's for me.

what if you belch "hello" when answering?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

what if you belch "hello" when answering?

That probably isn't allowed either.

Look, I was eating lunch and it came out while I was answering the phone when it rang. I can't exactly hold these kinds of things back.

[edible_hat]

so when "saw mommy kissing santa claus" plays I shouldn't sing "I saw mommy fucking santa claus"?

There's a version called "I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus" which gets a bit homoerotic.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

This just in--when stocking plush toys, I am no longer allowed to place them in certain, ummm, poses. ("Mommy, what is that stuffed pink unicorn doing to that other stuffed pink unicorn?")

[JoitheArtist]

Mommy, what is that stuffed pink unicorn doing to that other stuffed pink unicorn?

Stealing his kidney, probably.

Shun the unbeliever! Shuuuuuuuuuuun!

I am not allowed to use my Dalek to deliver Christmas goodies to the CEO when she's in a bad mood.

I am, however, allowed to mock her in a Christmas parody that will stay strictly within the marketing department. Well, and posted in General Work Chat, of course.

[Becks]

Stealing his kidney, probably.

Shun the unbeliever! Shuuuuuuuuuuun!

I love you.

[Iris Kojiro]

This just in--when stocking plush toys, I am no longer allowed to place them in certain, ummm, poses. ("Mommy, what is that stuffed pink unicorn doing to that other stuffed pink unicorn?")

But, but, but...that takes all the fun out of stocking plushies!!

[Mike Taylor]

I am not allowed to chase lingering SCs out of the store with a flamethrower after close.