Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[edible_hat]

No putting codoms on the valentine's day display. Even though everyone who bought something from that display also bought condoms.

[fireheart]

What was on the display edible?

And my additions:

-If I feel a yawn coming on, the correct procedure is to wait until AFTER you've yawned before you make a PA call, NOT before or during.
-No barnyard noises over the PA. Even if we're closed.
-When your register is being closed for a drawer count, you are meant to be doing something productive. Flirting with your potential boyfriend who works at the butchers nearby is NOT productive.
-Doing the "iggity aggity oop" dance from a Bugs Bunny cartoon is not appropriate. Nor is shouting "Hassan chop!" to the butchers. (for the uninitiated, the dance is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImPtxXjhN9M )
-I am not to walk past the butchers mentioned above and hum "Entry of the Gladiators" (the circus music)
-No telling off my idiotic coworker when he doesn't follow the correct procedures.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Not allowed to blow an air horn at random intervals when someone is having a phone conversation in the lobby.

[Bella_Vixen]

*not allowed to look for the watermark and/or security strip in large bills.

Yes, I am serious about that.

[edible_hat]

What was on the display edible?

Valentine's cards and chocolates. The kind of stuff people who didn't plan ahead buy from the convenience store early on Valentine's Day morning while their SO is still at home asleep.

[fireheart]

For me, from Thursday night...

-For the millionth time, stop staring at the butchers!
-We do not have parties in the liquor section after close at work. So stop telling it to customers.
-No juggling the shopping dividers (but only because the paper kept coming out)
-I am not to take whatever is covering our EAS gates and wrap it around myself to promote said sale/event. (Theoretical, haven't actually done it, they're cardboard)
-No chanting "moooo" "mooooo" to customers who don't know if I'm open or not.
-It is generally not polite to make animal noises in the meat department and scare the crap outta customers.
-Stop attempting to set up current manager with former manager.
-Am not allowed to hum songs over the PA so customers have some form of muzak.
-The broomhandles are NOT weapons.
-Cannot suggest we keep said broomhandles on checkouts for self-defence.
-bratwurst is not dried-up turd.

[AriRashkae]

*not allowed to look for the watermark and/or security strip in large bills.

Yes, I am serious about that.

Really. that's all I can say.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

I'm not allowed to crash my boss's Porshe.

Drive it, sure. Just not crash it.

When someone comes to test our fire alarm, I'm not allowed to go on the intercom and instruct everyone to run around their desks screaming that we're all gonna die.

[Bella_Vixen]

Really. that's all I can say.

That's what I said.

Becks says I should inform the boss about my theory of the markers.

Their asses, not mine, if/when we get some fakes.

[edible_hat]

That's what I said.

Becks says I should inform the boss about my theory of the markers.

Their asses, not mine, if/when we get some fakes.

And you will when word gets around that management prohibit the most basic security measures.

[Shangri-laschild]

I'm not allowed to shoot anyone with a nerf gun (....unless they are nerf people)

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

I'm not allowed to make paper airplanes out of faxes and sneak-attack people entering the building.

[fireheart]

No setting up our manager (male) with the new 2IC (female).

[ArenaBoy]

Not allowed to take home the whip.
Not allowed to ask why we have a whip.
I will not answer the phone in Japanese.
No matter how funny it is.
I cannot watch soccer games on the office TV.
Even if one of the editors is a fan of the same team I like.
I am not allowed to steal the sports editor's guitar.
The boombox is not for walking around campus playing Run DMC.
The sports media relations department are not incompetent morons.
Even if they don't return our calls.
I am not allowed to dance to the music being played next door.
Stereo wars are not allowed.
The ads department girl is not a princess. It leads to broken bowls.

[Digitalpotato]

TP the store with bolts of fabric
Build Forts with fabric
Play baseball with the toaster pack
Toast Spaghetti
Play with the toaster
Deep fry twinkies
Sing Macarron Chacaron
Speak in a made up accent