Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[MrPibbsRevenge]

Things I'm not allowed to do at work...
Speak with a fake accent
Hum the "Jaws Theme" when approaching customers
Use the retractable chain on the keys to strangle people.
Designate a "customer appreciation" bat.
Demonstrate mad skills with box cutters
Hi-lite all the price stickers bright pink
Demonstrate how to use zip-ties to apprehend people on co-workers.
Hide in a large box and pretend to be a character from a popular stealth-action game.
"Flip' the monitor upside down to confuse new co-workers.
---Updated 9/23/09----
Act out a ten minute police drama using Nerf Guns and a willing co-worker.
Use said Nerf Guns to break out in an epic battle of Nerf darts.
Finish any explanation with the phrase "....Because they hate you."
Print out fake boxes such as "Rod of War: Extreme Kratos Bass Fishing" or "Imagine Master Chief"
Deliberately sell terrible games to my enemies.
Bask in the disappointment radiated from an underage child attempting to purchase a Mature rated game unsuccessfully

[Little Redhead]

My small list that grows by the day....

- not allowed to turn the toaster oven off just because I want to
- even if I have to clean it before we close
- 1st degree burns are part of the job
- not allowed to spray coworkers with the hose on the other side the counter
- not allowed to write notes of any kind and tape them up
- I am not allowed to fall to my knees and thank God after we lock the door at close
- I am not allowed to inform my boss he is bipolar or hint that he is crazy
- no matter how much he is all the above
- however he can inform us we are crazy at any given time
- not allowed to have sex in the storeroom
- or walk in cooler nor freezer
- not allowed to smoke with the back door open
- even if we are the only ones there and have to have the door open to hear the bell
- not allowed to stroll over to Firehouse Subs across the street to borrow straws when we run out
- not allowed to turn off the fax machine, no matter how much it annoys me
- not allowed to answer the phone when we are busy cause our credit card machine stops working for 10 minutes after you answer the phone
- Thank you for calling hell or simply saying hello when answering the phone is frowned upon
- throwing bread, onions, or having a mayo fight will get you written up and fired
- making your own $5 footlong commerical and posting it on youtube is frowned upon
- especially when you are suppose to be working
- not wearing your hat or apron is grounds for getting written up
- so is throwing your hat and apron on the floor after you clock off
- telling a customer to go the hell home and make their own sandwich is a no no
- letting people know we are out of something is a BIG no no
- even if we are out of it and they ask for it
- we are never allowed to be out of something
- even if we ARE!
- telling people our peanut butter cookies and apples are tainted will get you pulled into the back room and yelled at
- never a good idea to tell the bosses wife to stop calling your coworkers retarded even when she did
- we are not allowed to discuss paychecks, pay rate, nor how many hours we slaved away. Even though the payrol sheet is left for all to see on the counter every week
- we are not to allowed to be nice to customers cause that means we are flirting

I got alot more to post lol

[Racket_Man]

My small list that grows by the day....

- we are not allowed to discuss paychecks, pay rate, nor how many hours we slaved away. Even though the payrol sheet is left for all to see on the counter every week

that is against the US FEDERAL DOL rules.

[Little Redhead]

that is against the US FEDERAL DOL rules.

I know but our manager still leaves the payroll sheet out on the counter for everyone to see. It has our pay rate, the times we clock in and out, and our hours for the week on it.

[Becks]

- I am not allowed to fall to my knees and thank God after we lock the door at close

They just suck all the fun out of a workday, don't they?

[Bagboy]

-I am not allowed to go on the roof and start belting out "Silent morning", by Noel
-Not allowed to talk like Peter Griffin

[Racket_Man]

I know but our manager still leaves the payroll sheet out on the counter for everyone to see. It has our pay rate, the times we clock in and out, and our hours for the week on it.

no I mean the company "rule" about not being able to discuss your wages and hours. if the company has that in their manual it is illegal via Federal Dept Of Labor and they can not fire you either for discussing amongst yourselves

[Becks]

I'm not allowed to get old.

Yep.

A customer said so.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

When asked to do a carryout because it's another one of those "run outside, stick your fingers in your ears and scream real loud" days and everybody who can do carryouts is already doing one, not allowed to answer "Okay, but I have to take a shit first."

[Hobbs]

If I become a door agent, I am not allowed an Asp (collapsable baton)
Nor am I allowed Mace.
My manager does not care if I get a concealed weapons license; I still cannot conceal-carry at work.
The CKRT utility knife is Still considered a concealed weapon.
Even if my sheriff's deputy friend assures that it isn't.
Not allowed to lie about our closing times over the phone.
Not even if the lie is a 'little slip.'
I am not allowed to have 'little slips.'
I cannot change religions to get out of working Sundays.
The Supervisor I hate is not the Spanish Inquisition.
Not allowed to use the phrase, "Don't harsh my mellow."
Not allowed to tell a CS story in front of customers.
No, I cannot pull the fire alarm; no matter how much I ask.
Daring customers to complain to get fired is not a good idea.

[sanchopanza65]

A small list

-Not allowed to refer to special guest speaker as "Princess Tutu"
-Not allowed to change sign to read as such
-Not allowed to sing "The Ballad of Czolgoz" when others are around
-The dryer has a lint trap for a reason
-Not allowed to pretend to put a poison cookie in the box of cookies
-Not allowed to actually put a poison cookie in the box of cookies
-Not allowed to greet parishoners in a bear suit

[fireheart]

Under no circumstances, ever, am I to keep flirting with the butchers.
No asking them if I'm the freak show.
No calling THEM the freak show.
And yes, while I am dating one of them, no mushy stuff while he's on the clock.

[Hobbs]

Under no circumstances, ever, am I to keep flirting with the butchers.
No asking them if I'm the freak show.
No calling THEM the freak show.
And yes, while I am dating one of them, no mushy stuff while he's on the clock.

I keep imagining your avatar as you going up to the deli section


OT:

-Not allowed to wear the Omnitrix to work

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

~Not allowed to challenge people to a duel before they can meet with the directors.
~Not allowed to challenge my CWs to a duel before they can leave for lunch.
~REALLY not allowed to duel the candy jar.
~Not allowed to practice my footwork in the hall
~Or the lobby
~Or on the conference room table
~Sharpies are NOT foils.

[fireheart]

I keep imagining your avatar as you going up to the deli section


OT:

-Not allowed to wear the Omnitrix to work

He doesn't actually work in my workplace, he works in the butchers across from my work. We provide the occasional entertainment for them, they provide us with witnesses for shoplifters