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The garbage compactor does not function as an escape hatch when a full dumpster is taken away and we're waiting for an empty one to be put in place.
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Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily -
Not allowed to play top 5 without inviting more than one manager.
Not allowed to man bash with the aussie travel agent. Even if she starts it.
Not allowed to ask for an extra bottle of bubbly for the office when I'm dealing with a VIP.
Not allowed to answer the phone with "We're expensive, you're cheap, can you just fuck off now?" - I asked first and no, even if it's true."So you think they named this ship the "Chimera" because there's a monster on board?" Tony DiNozzo
"They did not name it the puppy" Ziva David - NCIS, ChimeraComment
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This needs to be posted above all the entrances to the swamp.Quoth CloserToSane View PostKnowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost dailyComment
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I am not allowed to try and pop the bubble wrap that the toy store gets shipped to them in great big rolls. Even if I can't wrap my arms around them.Comment
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I am not allowed to sing "I Saw Mummy Licking Santa's Balls" at work.
No laughing at the guy who starts his call, lets the carol finish, THEN repeats his whole damn call.
No telling customers about other customer's totals....The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom
Now queen of USSR-Land...Comment
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Things I am not allowed to do at work: My job.Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.Comment
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I have that same problem. Yet I'm still expected to get mine done even though they schedule me for other departments.Quoth Kristev View Post
Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)
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Despite the number of different hats I wear at work, I am not allowed to change my title to match the job I am doing. I must remain "Loan Assistant," even when I am really doing:- New Accounts
- Customer Service
- Retirement Account Specialist
- PC Technician
- Software Instructor
- Other Duties as Assigned
It makes things really confusing when I sign a letter about a customer's IRA with "Loan Assistant.""I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
-Mira FurlanComment
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No more singing "Me So Horny." Ever.Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost dailyComment
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I am not allowed to do things in a way that makes sense. Instead, I must follow the instructions I'm given, which may change from week to week.
I am not allowed to do things in a way that makes them easier for the customer to understand. Instead, I must have the customer sign 9 redundant forms just to open a savings account.
I am not allowed to simplify things for a grieving widow. Apparently, sympathy is superfluous in this organization."I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
-Mira FurlanComment
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So you can't put on a musical version of The 40-year-old Virgin????Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom
Now queen of USSR-Land...Comment
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Not allowed to set my computer on fire after the THIRD crash of the day.
When you start at zero, everything's progress.Comment
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Special Super Bowl Edition:
In anticipation of the big game, it is perfectly a-okay to write "Steelers Suck" on the dry erase board in the breakroom.
However, mentioning particular bodily parts the Steelers suck, and the species the bodily parts belong to is unnecessary and uncalled for.Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost dailyComment
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Apparaently people are not allowed to contact the union office.
Because apparaently the union gives out INCORRECT information.
(note: it hasn't stopped me from contacting them and not letting work know, but there seems to be a vibe of "don't call the union"around the store)The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom
Now queen of USSR-Land...Comment
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I am not allowed to think, only to do what I am told. Even if what I am told is contrary to federal regulations and sound business practices.
"I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
-Mira FurlanComment
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