Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[LoneCat617]

Just finished reading this and after recovering from laughing so hard, I had to do a post.

At the bingo hall:
-Not allowed to preach to the regulars about gambling addictions
-Not allowed to start food fights with the caller
-Not allowed to change the radio station that's played during intermissions - 70 year old ladies do NOT appreciate the genius of Lars Ulrich

At the clothing store:
-Not allowed to create a slingshot game using a penny, a rubber band, and the clothing racks
-Even if there is no customers in the store and all the day's work is done
-Especially if I'm the supervisor on duty
-Not allowed to use the 6 foot long tubes the posters come in as swords
-Not allowed to switch out the approved music CD for Rob Zombie's Hellbilly Deluxe
-Even if the store is closed, because apparently I forget to change it back

Overnights at the gas station:
-Not allowed to turn off the lights and go to sleep
-Not allowed to make prank calls to the employees at our other stores
-Not allowed to make prank calls to the midnight supervisor
-Even if he gets a kick out of it
-Not allowed to chase a shoplifter down with a 2L bottle of Pepsi as my only weapon (this one was the guy who trained me)
-Not allowed to tell people how stupid they are even though they passed by 2 signs, plus the one posted beside my head, that says we don't accept cash at night.
-Not allowed to take the $20 bill they wanted to use for gas and claim it as a tip using the excuse that it is obvious we don't take cash at night (again, not me - someone at another store)
-Not allowed to call people who think the garden hose is an air hose stupid
-Even though they are
-I AM allowed to pretend to be the VP of Operations to get repair people out quicker (she actually gave me permission after I did it the first time!)
-I AM allowed to yell at cab drivers who argue that they don't have to pre-pay for gas (I don't care who you are, it is company policy and calling me a dumb c*** is not gonna make me wanna get in trouble for you)
-I AM allowed to blast music as loud as I want if there are no customers in the store
-However, I am not allowed to blast Britney Spears when the midnight supervisor is in the store (it's funny watching him get annoyed)

I'm sure there is more, and I'll post them as I think of them

[MoonCat]

Not allowed to walk over to co-worker, grab her headset off her head, tell her brother that she is working now, and push the button to release the call.

Not allowed to scream "Jeeeeezz it's the crazy woman again!" when I get her on the phone.

Not allowed to draw a mustache, devil horns and/or a bra on the manager's life-size poster of Spiderman.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Nyan Cat is supposed to be used for good and not evil.

So no using Nyan Cat any time soon.

No singing songs by Nerf Herder. Such as this one.

Or this one.

[fireheart]

Nyan Cat is supposed to be used for good and not evil.

So no using Nyan Cat any time soon.

[/URL]

Are you allowed to decorate the breakroom with his farting rainbow-y goodness?

And does that include remixes of Nyan cat

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

And does that include remixes of Nyan cat

Especially the death metal one.

Oh, and no talking like a valley girl more than I already do.

[fireheart]

Especially the death metal one.

Oh, and no talking like a valley girl more than I already do.

Where is this Nyan Cat death metal and you talking like a valley girl I hve to hear

Now all we need to do is get the clothing to match....

Also my coworker is no longer allowed to tell girls that they look good in a bikini.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Here's the Nyan cat

As for hearing me talk, you have to come to Wisconsin for that.

[dragon_wings]

Here's the Nyan cat

So full of win. \m/\m/

[fireheart]

So full of win. \m/\m/

This one's better.

[Zellie Crescent]

When a custy tells me to smile I'm not aloud to say that I'll do that once I leave and have a bottle of Jack Daniels in my hand.

[fireheart]

The Cigarette planogram is called "Stupid" not "The Planogram of Doom."

No jokes about Old Manager becoming Relief Produce Manager. (henceforth known as RPM)
RPM is not the "British-looking one."
I am not to giggle when I see him pushing trolleys in from the carpark
And no matter how funny it is, I am not allowed to tell the story from when he decided to do a flying leap across the smokeshop counter back at Old Store. (Old Store's cigarette counters are set lower than the ones at Current Store)

[KiaKat]

I am not allowed to make any decisions about ordering stock, even if it would make customers happy.

I am not allowed to deal with sales reps, because they will try to screw me over any way they can.

I AM allowed to be yelled at for doing both of the above, even though Boss is out of the country and can't deal with them himself.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

When snow crayons come in (yes, this is a real product carried at the swamp), don't tell everybody I already have a snow crayon--a yellow one.

[fireheart]

When snow crayons come in (yes, this is a real product carried at the swamp), don't tell everybody I already have a snow crayon--a yellow one.

can I ask how the actual snow crayons work? I've heard of paint you can spray on snow, but snow crayons?

[dalesys]

That's snow crayon. I'm just happy to see you.