Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

The singer's name is Tori Amos. Not Tori Anus.

[Quillsilver]

When taking orders in drive-thru:

I am not allowed to hum the Final Jeopardy music when the customer is taking forever to decide what to order.

I am not allowed to ask "Is that your final answer?" at the end of an order.

[crazylegs]

I am not allowed to take a shovel to a job instead of the kit while attending a job in a graveyard.

[Maria]

Nobody wants to hear my "seven drunken pilots" rewrite of Flogging Molly's Seven Deadly Sins. Especially not while the FAA inspector is still within earshot.

[fireheart]

My boyfriend is not allowed to answer the phone with "Hello, <ISP> have you tried turning it off and on again?"

(he works tech support for an ISP)

[downforit2008]

Not allowed to tell your supervisor to their face when they're telling you off that you imagine them as a yapping French poodle.

[Skeen]

My boyfriend is not allowed to answer the phone with "Hello, <ISP> have you tried turning it off and on again?"

(he works tech support for an ISP)

He should be allowed to. That, or ask them if it's making a bing-bong noise.

[blas]

I'm not allowed to refer to my lead as The Gestapo. Even if she is.

[fireheart]

He should be allowed to. That, or ask them if it's making a bing-bong noise.

his company isn't entirely full of party-poopers. They actually have a doughnut policy at work. Basically, any major event (the list he gave me includes birthdays, weddings, engagements, new baby, new house, promotion and so on) requires you to bring in a pack of doughnuts.

While we don't have Krispy Krack down here, we DO have Donut King.

[blas]

We are no longer allowed to complain about our lead.

[fireheart]

A few more uni-related ones (studying to be a teacher):

-I am not allowed to suggest "Avenue Q" as a theme for our comic.
-Nor can I imitate Trekkie Monster in drama.
-Singing loudly in the education building will get strange looks.
-Singing loudly in the library will get even stranger looks.
-Even though it sounds awesome, I am not allowed to run a mini English lesson on the Vikings.
-Nor can I run a lesson on Internet memes.
-My male colleague is not evil and twisted.
-Even though he acts like it on occasion.
-I am not allowed to make a podcast on How To Train Your Dragon (literally)
-Nor am I allowed to make a podcast on How to Open A Door.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

-I am not allowed to make a podcast on How To Train Your Dragon (literally)
-Nor am I allowed to make a podcast on How to Open A Door.

Would a podcast on How To Ride A Pony be okay?

[Divra]

I am not allowed to attempt to match our customers drink for drink.
I am not allowed to attempt to match a customer drink for drink.

[hotelslave]

I am not allowed to down multiple cans of Red Bull and cups of coffee to torment coworker who hates when I get jacked up on caffeine. I am not allowed to hold a UFC match for desperate guests in the lobby for the last no smoking king room that comes available on a sold out night. Not allowed to call store manager mini hitler no matter how much he runs the store under dictatorship.
When the store is closed and the lights are off not allowed to hide in a blindspot to jump out and scare the coworker that took forever to finish up. Not allowed to find wet cement at a new apartment complex and write in the cement when your supposed to be working. When the breakfast hostess is stressed out no matter how little she has going on I am not allowed to hide coffee cups. When supposed to be manning the front counter not allowed to duck down and wait for a customer to walk up to the counter and jump up to scare them. When working at hotel on a veeerrrrryyyyyy slow night not allowed to make an empty room your "happy place"for you and coworker to take turns watching tvs and smoking cigarettes for 30 minutes each on the clock. Not allowed to totally drool and ogle a hot Brittish guy who bends over and check the view in front of my male coworker. Not allowed to hide walkie talkie behind the crap at service desk and then stand in another area of store and scare manager by making pile of shit talk in weird voices. Not allowed to hide in trailer behind store thats full of store's overstock even if manager wouldn't be able to find you.

[fireheart]

-Not allowed to tell the kids that their backstroke arms are playing a game of cat and mouse. (to get them used to the idea of doing "windmill" arms)
-I am not allowed to drip water from my rash vest over the kids heads to get them used to water familiarization.
-They are "trainee rashies" NOT "portable heaters"
-I am not allowed to relabel the classes according to how active the kids are.
-Even though my class is labelled after a sportfish, the kids are not to be sporty.
-I am not allowed to fiddle with the kids goggles, however I CAN tell one of the boys to stop pulling the drawstrings on his budgie smugglers
-There is a LINE on the roof, not a LION.
-The wristbands are for deep-water work, NOT hairties or to stop the kids from obtaining alcohol

And that's all I can think of so far from training