Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[KatherineB]

We should choose a day, have people flying in from all over, and just stand around staring at the sucky customers, shaming them!

In fact, we could expand this idea and travel around to the workplace of each person on the board and sight-see in between telling off the SCs. Best holiday eve!

[fireheart]

Woah, this thread hit 100 pages?!

[Skeen]

I am not allowed to sign people up for weight loss programs online.

Even if they asked me to because they couldn't figure out the website themselves.

Even if they gave me their credit cards to pay the fees.

Even if the company is paying us to join.

[fireheart]

I am not allowed to sing Avenue Q songs at work (even if I skip over the naughty bits ie singing Kate's part only in "The INternet Is For Porn")

I am not allowed to sing "A Man For All Seasons" at work. (especially the line "never prematurely shooting his load")

ETA: "work" in this instance is my unpaid on-the-job training at the local pool.

[Kitten in the box]

1. Not allowed to say "Im on the phone when on break or lunch when on the phone
2. Not allowed to answer truthfully how i feel when asked. I must lie.
3. Not allowed to tell a customer to take their small dog outside even when there are no dogs, save for service animals allowed inside the store
4. Cannot tell a customer not to husk corn even when technically customers are not supposed to husk corn at the store
5. Cannot put a trash can by the corn during sales for customers to throw husks in because it makes the produce department look "ugly" (who fucking cares?? safety first!)
6. Cannot just tell a customer what aisle the item is on
7. Cannot give a customer disinfectant, paper towels, and a bag to clean up their own kids vomit or other bodily fluids

[Dreamstalker]

Kitten, we do let customers husk corn in the store (I never understood why anyone would want to husk the corn more than five minutes before cooking). Usually this results in a lot of ears that someone 'molested' (peeling the husk back partway to check it, or husking them completely) and then left; I was told to damage them out as we have no way of knowing who touched them, then a manager says not to. I lost count of how many times I've almost slipped on corn husk debris--even in nonslip shoes. Tonight I probably would have twisted my ankle if I hadn't caught myself on the edge of a table.

I can't put YET ANOTHER sign on the returns cart with the dictionary definition of 'perishable'. Even if someone needs to be smacked about the head with the porterhouse steak that is now spoiled because they tossed it in there for me to find two hours later.

[pzychobitch]

I am not allowed to sing Avenue Q songs at work (even if I skip over the naughty bits ie singing Kate's part only in "The INternet Is For Porn")

OMG I thought i was the only person here who liked that song!

Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRgNOyCnbqg

[fireheart]

OMG I thought i was the only person here who liked that song!

Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRgNOyCnbqg

You'd be surprised. There's a version called "Textbook Hell is for Porn" courtesy of Lupo

[Rapscallion]

OMG I thought i was the only person here who liked that song!

Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRgNOyCnbqg

I used to duet it in the fridge with a colleague. She was better doing the low voices than me, so I did Kate.

Rapscallion

[fireheart]

I used to duet it in the fridge with a colleague. She was better doing the low voices than me, so I did Kate.

Rapscallion

I have the entire soundtrack on my iPod and I've played it in the car before. Apart from "You Can Be As Loud As The Hell You Want", I will sing along to ALL of the female voices (I will sing along to Gary's part in the aforementioned song and Schadenfraude since it's been known to be a woman in some cases and the range is fairly close to mine)

And a few from my post-placement and pre-repeat placement:

-Not allowed to wear my "Knowledge is Power, Power Corrupts, Study Hard, Be Evil" shirt on placement.
-Even though it might engage students.
-Not allowed to joke that my mentor teacher was a dictator.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

If somebody asks me what I brought for lunch today, don't reply "Dead Hooker."

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

For the last time, the pharmacy staff is not to be called "drug dealers."

[fireheart]

-I am not allowed to sing "Do The Pachacuti" in the pool.
-Nor "Dick Turpin Highwayman"
-Or "Cavaliers and Roundheads"
-And most definitely not the "We Sell Any Monk" song.
-Yes they may be educational. But singing them will get some weird looks.

-Also for the last time, do not try and recreate the "Queen Victoria workout" sketch before you start. (and sit...and rule...and sit...and rule...)


ETA: Not allowed to sing the "Kings of England" song either. (basically it's a 4-minute song that chronicles ALL of the Kings and Queens of England up until the current one)

[Solacelawlz]

.....MORE!!

- jam out to my 1980's Clairtone boombox
- say I move rocks...
- tell my SC's to eat a dick... matter fact all the peni!!
- wear a better suit than my supervisor
- toss T.O. reports in the garbage with 151 and a match
- wear my "If you like it, smack it" pants.. /sigh
- jump out a window... we have none; vaults ftl!
- make fun of special C for not knowing what "awww skeet skeet" meant

[Skeen]

I am not to beat a coworker to death with my Swingline, "even if we all want to and wouldn't testify against you in court."