Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[Mikkel]

There is a reference here and I am missing it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus

Not very child friendly

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Yes Irv, a dab of eggnog spilled on one's pants looks like....cum.

That doesn't mean it's appropriate to point this out in a break room full of people trying to eat.

[Dreamstalker]

Not allowed to get back at customers who can't stack baskets by creating a mini-fort next to SCO and forcing them to figure out how to get their own basket on there (only possible if you stack them the way they should be).

FEM applauded my efforts and said that normally she'd let it ride but as we were having visiting suits I had to make it disappear quick.

[Kit-Ginevra]

When a customer asks for the Christmas baubles,I will not whip out my testicles,paint them,spray them with fake snow and dangle them in the customer's face,saying 'What about THESE for a pair of baubles?'

[fireheart]

When a customer asks for the Christmas baubles,I will not whip out my testicles,paint them,spray them with fake snow and dangle them in the customer's face,saying 'What about THESE for a pair of baubles?'

*snerk*

New one from the other day:

We ARE allowed to belt out the Spongebob Squarepants theme.

I am not allowed to change the words.

[Skeen]

Totally allowed to spend 3 hours at lunch with the boss helping her finish Christmas shopping.

Totally NOT allowed to gloat about it to everyone else.

[rapana1]

Not allowed to lie down on the display bed.
Definitely not allowed to crawl under the covers with the crossword and a cuppa.

[mathnerd]

Not allowed to use adult oriented analogies to explain math concepts to high schoolers. Must save those for the college students.

[catcul]

If I hear a scream in the maternity ward, I'm not allowed to look.

If I hear a scream in the emergency room, I'm not allowed to look.

If I hear a scream in the morgue, I'm running away and not looking back.

[MoonCat]

Yes Irv, a dab of eggnog spilled on one's pants looks like....cum.

That doesn't mean it's appropriate to point this out in a break room full of people trying to eat.

Had a cafeteria manager at work who did this to someone (not me, a co-worker, who thought it was hilarious). This was an old lady with a mouth like a sailor.

[BrenDAnn]

No, it is not okay to tape a sign to the door that simply reads "GO HOME!" to scare SCs off. It doesn't matter how much you want them to go home and stop bugging you. It's just not a good idea to put that sign up.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

If/when I get a new nametag, the letters "MFIC" will not be appearing anywhere on it.

[Kit-Ginevra]

In our theatre company,our correct titles are Assistant Directors. Not Minions.
Our director's correct title is Director. Not Gru. Not The Despicable One.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Yes, it is quite humorous to watch the LP lady mop the floor.

Yes, it kinda resembles a stripper working a pole, what with her butt moving as much as her arms do, and she's standing in the same spot the entire time.

But did you really need to do a demonstration in front of the service desk girl, the opening cashier, and a couple customers?

Yes, I did. Day: Made.

[Elspeth]

I am still not allowed to harm my coworkers. Or kill their brains with logic. Or let my Mom give them lectures. Yeah at 37 that woman still scares me. She can get the "look" I am completely innocent and I say I am sorry. She is good