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Things I am not allowed to do at work.

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  • #1156
    Despite the boss change, I am not allowed to use the Russian Elmo voice for an entire shift in revenge for calling me in on my day off.
    I am also not allowed to use it in front of the new-old boss at my other school.
    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

    Now queen of USSR-Land...

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    • #1157
      Whenever a customer tells me to smile/cheer up/be happy I am not allowed to say "I will when I leave."
      ......../\
      ....../__\
      ..../\...../\
      ../__\../__\

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      • #1158
        I am not allowed to equip myself with a small rubber mallet and when the customers are stood in line,go along them playing Whack-A-Customer (tm)..
        The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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        • #1159
          Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
          I am not allowed to equip myself with a small rubber mallet and when the customers are stood in line,go along them playing Whack-A-Customer (tm)..
          You had a manager actually tell you that? O.o

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          • #1160
            I am no longer allowed to daisy chain batteries. I have occasionally entertained myself in the past by producing sizable electrical arcs from chained 9 volt batteries, but my boss caught me doing it last week the hard way.

            Seems he got curious as to what I was working on while I was off on an errand he had just sent me on, and due to his curiosity he acquired a small but painful injury somewhere unmentionable complete with charred spot on his pants.

            In my defense, I had capped the batteries with an insulator, but to no avail -- this man once managed to short out a computer that was in for repair when he decided the inside was too dusty and decided to clean it, so it's not his first wholly avoidable electrical accident in the workshop.

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            • #1161
              Not allowed to play the song "Weekend" on Friday over the PA when I get ready to leave the store.
              Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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              • #1162
                Make them suffer.Play them Friday instead
                The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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                • #1163
                  Not allowed to glue my workbench to the floor to keep my coirker from shoving it aside when it is loaded with ~$90,000 of product (that goes "BOOM" when mistreated or is thrown out as scrap if dropped on the floor...) because he can't walk through the designated aisle while using of my machines.

                  Bolting it to a wall using tamper resistant fasteners however is still fair game.

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                  • #1164
                    If Jerkass from my Fratching thread shows up at school, I am not allowed to start singing "womanizer" while dancing around him.
                    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                    Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                    • #1165
                      I kinda wish these had come up at a place where I worked, but it never has...

                      I am not to tell customers that their computer issue is a PEBKAC or ID10T Error.

                      I am not to tell any customers "FYVM" (Fuck You Very Much).
                      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                      • #1166
                        Not allowed to play "Friday, I'm in Love" over the PA on Friday at the hospital.
                        This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                        I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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                        • #1167
                          I'm not allowed to sing "Spongebob Squarepants" in the Russian Elmo voice.
                          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                          Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                          • #1168
                            Quoth catcul View Post
                            Not allowed to play "Friday, I'm in Love" over the PA on Friday at the hospital.
                            Go to the alternatives on your playlist....

                            Suicide is Painless,They're Coming To Take Me Away Haha!,When I'm Dead and Gone
                            The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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                            • #1169
                              Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
                              Go to the alternatives on your playlist....

                              Suicide is Painless,They're Coming To Take Me Away Haha!,When I'm Dead and Gone
                              I'm sure those will go over really well when I go to the mental health clinic.
                              This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                              I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                              Comment

                              • #1170
                                Quoth catcul View Post
                                I'm sure those will go over really well when I go to the mental health clinic.
                                Learn this song: Peace Or Prozac
                                I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                                Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                                Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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