Customer Service funnies

[BookstoreEscapee]

I was walking past the Customer Service department on my way out this afternoon and noticed 2 signs in one girl's cubicle:

One of our perennial favorites:

Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

And also:

How about we refund your money, send you a new one, close the store and have the manager shot?
Would that be satisfaction?

[lordlundar]

How about we refund your money, send you a new one, close the store and have the manager shot?
Would that be satisfaction?

Hmm, sounds familiar.

[AirHostess]

One of our perennial favorites:

Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

I use that ALL the time, it comes in handy!

[DesignFox]

I saw a good one in Ocean City, Maryland a few months back...in a bagel shop...

I can't remember the exact phrasing, but it was something along the lines of:

"If you are nasty, rude or just plain mean, there will be a $10 charge just for dealing with you."

[Saydrah]

My favorite is one we hung in the pet store until the boss found it and took it down:

"Unattended children will be given a free puppy and a double shot of espresso."

I also always enjoy the classic, "I can only please one person per day, and today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good, either."

And the perennial favorite:

"Your village called- it seems their idiot is missing."

And then there's the one hung at the bar at the state fair last year:

"Men: No shirt, no shoes, no service. Women: No shirt, no shoes, free drinks!"

[El Barto]

I was walking past the Customer Service department on my way out this afternoon and noticed 2 signs in one girl's cubicle:

How about we refund your money, send you a new one, close the store and have the manager shot?
Would that be satisfaction?

One of the CVS stores in the area has an animated version of that hanging in the managers office showing a pissed off looking woman and a guy in a CVS shirt. I worked there a few times last summer when they needed help but I always forgot to make a copy for my store.

One of my coworkers has this in her cubicle:

Some people are like slinkies.

They're not good for anything but they make you smile when you push them down a flight of stairs.

[DesignFox]

Some people are like slinkies.

They're not good for anything but they make you smile when you push them down a flight of stairs.

hehe. I'm pretty sure that was my siggy for awhile. I love that quote.

[drunkenwildmage]

A few of mine I had hanging at my desk when I did tech support

1) Friends don't let friends use AOL

2) You can replace there modem, repair their e-mail, and adjust internet Explorer, but you can't fix stupid.

3) We charge for service calls at the following rates
$25
$35 if you watch
$45 if you help
$65 if a friend "fixed it"

4) The Occupational Health and Safety Department has determined that the maximum number of people that can ride my ass is 2. Since you have arrived 3rd in line, unless bars, or safety straps are installed you will have to wait your turn.

[Becks]

The Occupational Health and Safety Department has determined that the minimum number of people that can ride my ass is 2. Since you have arrived 3rd in line, unless bars, or safety straps are installed you will have to wait your turn.

I might have to tell that one to my boss so he can use it.

Oh, yeah, and wouldn't "maximum" be better than "minimum"?

[K'Z'K]

A restaurant near me has a lovely hand-painted and framed sign (work of art, really) which says simply "be nice or leave." Next time I'm there I'll have to ask if they get to enforce that.

-K'Z'K

[BookstoreEscapee]

"If you are nasty, rude or just plain mean, there will be a $10 charge just for dealing with you."

Somebody I know has that on a refrigerator magnet...

[DesignFox]

Somebody I know has that on a refrigerator magnet...

I still want to make one for the cell phone store...wonder if the owner would let me get away with it...

[PepperElf]

I saw this sign once...

"Everyone makes this a brighter place. Some by coming in and some by leaving."

[morgana]

"If you are nasty, rude or just plain mean, there will be a $10 charge just for dealing with you."

My doctor's office has this one up. One of the receptionists actually pointed it out to a grouchy old man one morning. Didn't help his mood any; 'course, neither did my giggling at the situation.

[MadMike]

Saw this one in the corner store by my old apartment:

"If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport."

In the early days at my current job, someone had this one up at his desk:

"Sexual harrassment isn't a problem around here -- it's one of the benefits."

That was before sexual harrassment was getting the attention that it gets now, and I seriously doubt he'd get away with having that up now.