Smackdown delivered!

[Pedersen]

K: Hey, M, when are we going out?
Me: We're not going out, K. My standards are MUCH higher than that.
K:
The rest of the break room (where the smackdown took place):

In a similar vein, but reversed (and amusing even to me).

Me and CW (Coworker):
ME: Heya CW.
CW: What can I do ya for?
Me: About $50.
CW: No thanks, I'm waiting for the price to come down.

All I could do was say "Damn! That one stings!"

[sms001]

(About three months before we started dating....)

Me: Hey Karen, would you like to blah blah sometime?

Karen: Awww... It is SO CUTE that you think you're even remotely in my league....
(And turns to talk to others in the room.)

Me: nuthin' Scurried off with tail between legs.

[CaroPhoenix]

Both of these for the win!

Aaaah ... XCashier! that is so nice of you!

Oooooooooooh, I'm permanently borrowing that one!!!!!

Since I've been married, I've had to pack it up. Just use it in good faith, and have as much fun with it as possible! That's all I ask.

For those hitting on me (not my co-workers, they know I'm married, but some of the customers), I tell them I'm married (besides, I have my engagement ring/wedding band on my hand), and some of them don't care. But for some reason, when they see my husband, they're all backing off. Guess they don't want to enrage the 5'10", 450+ pound man?

[Becks]

Just use it in good faith, and have as much fun with it as possible! That's all I ask.

I can fill your requirements.

Thank you for letting me adopt your turndown.

[Jester]

I tend to be more vicious, and when I read this, the first thing that popped into my head was from one of my favorite movies, The Long Kiss Goodnight. Wherein Samantha Caine (Geena Davis) pops off this beauty: "No thanks. I'm saving myself 'til I get raped."

Or you could always say, "Sorry, you must be confused. I don't have a cock for you to suck."

I mean, these work if you really want to verbally eviscerate/emasculate a guy. They are, however, very vicious.

Just saying.

[thegiraffe]

SMS, I just may use that one next time he tries something lol.

As far as the retorts of a sexual nature go, they're funny, but they wouldn't be taken seriously coming from me. It's no secret around the store that I'm a virgin. I don't advertise it on my forehead, but if someone asks (we get bored and have weird conversations sometimes) , I'll tell them honestly that I'm waiting until marriage.

We do, however, have the 'token gay guy' that every guy tries to stay away from. He's asked the entire (male) stock crew out. At least twice. I could go tell K "Go ask R...I'm sure he'd LOVE to go out with someone like you!"

At least then MAYBE he'd leave me alone.

I'm really gonna have to get better at this for when I teach high schoolers next year. I'm 22 (I'll be 23 when I start though), and I barely pass for 16. Barely. I'll need to come up with (and practice saying lol) good retorts that won't get me in trouble with administration, but will send the message that I won't tolerate it.

[Lace Neil Singer]

"Sorry, I don't go for boys; only men."

[Rapscallion]

"Sorry - I prefer my men to be attractive."

I came up with that one for our Saturday girl. She liked and used.

Rapscallion

[PepperElf]

My personal favourite is:

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

No.... he'll bring it back in his mouth, covered with slobber.
....tho i'm sure real dogs are now insulted



Hmmm another one...
"Sure, just let me grab my pepperspray...."

[thegiraffe]

Alright....so now it's time to take this to the next step. I was in the store on Thursday in my work (i.e. teaching job) clothes - a skirt and shirt in this case. He comes up next to me and says "ooh...it's my sexy schoolteacher". I retort (thanks to SMS) "y'know...it's really cute how you think you're even REMOTELY in my league", and go back to getting my W-2. He obviously didn't get THAT either, because I was in yesterday getting bread and milk, and he hollered my name halfway across the store. I didn't know who it was because my back was turned, and when I turned around, he did like an annoying little wave thing. I rolled my eyes and turned back around, ignoring him.

I told my assistant store manager (also female) last night that I'm going to take care of it, I just want them to know that I'm going to take care of it. K probably has no idea what he's doing as far as sexual harassment goes. I'm vicious (I've verbally castrated a few men guys who have looked at me the wrong way), but I'm not that mean to get him in trouble over something he likely doesn't realize the extent of.

SO...I work at 12:30 (eastern time) today, and I plan on talking to him then. Any suggestions? I'm going to be mean, but not too mean (unless he starts acting like a child, in which I'll immediately revert to teacher mode and rip into him like I would a 4th or 5th grader).

He obviously needs to know that:

• His advances need to stop yesterday.
• I could very well get management involved for sexual harassment, and I've gotten people fired for it before.
• He really makes himself look like an idiot when he doesn't get the blatant NO that I've told him so many times.
• Doing this in any future job after being told to stop so many times could get him fired insanely fast.
• AND...does he really not understand the meaning of the words "no" and "I think not", etc?

Remember - this dude's head is so dense he makes granite look like cheesecloth. I'm going to have to dumb it WAY down (just another reason my answer is absolutely positively not).

Wish me luck!

[tropicsgoddess]

K: Hey, M, when are we going out?
Me: We're not going out, K. My standards are MUCH higher than that.
K:

PWNED!!!!!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

He comes up next to me and says "ooh...it's my sexy schoolteacher".

"And you have detention. Go sit in the corner and think about how I'll never, ever, ever, be remotely interested in you."

Just to go along with the whole teacher motif and all...

I dunno, I personally might go to management and have them deal with it. Something tells me every time you tell him no and to leave you alone, he thinks you're just playing hard to get.It might carry more weight if a manager was the one telling him to knock it off.

[thegiraffe]

That's true, IPF, but I can be horribly vicious. I was trying to be nice, but the time has come to be very very mean. He wasn't there today, but next time.....

Management knows what's up and is letting me handle it because they know I can. However, my talking to him will be a warning. A formal warning. If he tries again, then I'll sic management on him.

[Becks]

"And you have detention. Go sit in the corner and think about how I'll never, ever, ever, be remotely interested in you."

That gets the Becky Seal of Approval®.

[Lace Neil Singer]

This might be all he'd understand:

F*** off, loser.