Fastest Resignation?

[Sableonblonde]

My first day at Petco, I got absolutely no training and was immediately thrown on the register. It wasn't the customers who made me want to quit -- it was the sucky employees/management who drove me to insanity. I kept asking questions because I honestly didn't know how to do certain things, and they got PO'd because I kept distracting them from the delicious goodies at the treat bar. If anything the customers made things better for me!

It was kind of like that for me when I worked a concession stand this past summer. I'd never worked a register before, and was given a quick five minute rundown of it, and then just thrown on one. No one else in the stand liked to work register, since it made it harder to just stand around and do nothing. I eventually grew to love being on the register, but that first day I messed up every single transaction I had, and would have to run and track down a manager to get the transaction fixed, which was so frustrating for me. I wished they would have given me some time to learn the register, or else assigned someone to help me, because there were about twenty different buttons, and everytime someone ordered I'd be all "Uh, uh, hold on" while staring stupidly down at the register and trying to remember where the correct button was.

I got the hang out if after awhile and became a whiz, but I quit a few months later due to something else. We had a really hectic, busy day, I was working opening to close everyday because we were shorthanded and everyone else was in school. Well, I was scheduled to open the next day as usual, which meant cleaning up the stand. By the end of that night, the stand was trashed. Absolutely disgustingly trashed. It pissed me off because I am always careful and neat at work. I see no point in making a mess that has to be cleaned up later when you can AVOID making a mess in the first place, or even if you do, clean it up right away. There was no need for the place to be so thoroughly trashed, and it completely disheartened me to look around at it and think I'd have to be responsible for cleaning it all up in the morning and then after that, pull another fourteen hour shift. I just couldn't do it. Couldn't. Never went back.

[Gurndigarn]

OMG, do you think that maybe they have something in their managers' training about "Employees are always faking and even if they are sick they should work anyway, weaklings!"

The problem is that they are faking it often enough that you get a little suspicious until you know the person well enough. Then, unfortunately, sometimes you become almost certain they're faking it...

[Primer]

Just when I get ready to post, somebody else reminds me of another very short-term job I had. I think I mentioned somewhere before that when I was 18, I had 10 different jobs that year. This is about 3 of them:

After I quit my second security company,

I. I hired on at a rent-a-cop place. I was supposed to work 3rd shift at City Hall. As I was heading out, my car died, so I had to call in. No car = no transportation = no way to get to work, so I had to quit. Even though I had never actually put in any time, they insisted on giving me a paycheck for that first 8-hour shift.

At the time I was broke and unemployed and got a job bussing tables.

II. I got a job bussing tables at a Mexican restaurant within walking distance of home. Only problem was that a few weeks before, I had fallen down a flight of stairs, and could barely walk, much less carry bus tubs full of dishes. I think that lasted one shift. I hurt so bad at the end of the night, I had to quit.

III. I had papered the local area looking for a job. I was offered, and accepted a position, I don't even remember where, now. Another place (Chelsea Street Pub) called me up to offer me the kitchen position for which I had applied. I explained to them that I already had a job elsewhere, and I was no longer interested. No problem, right? Wrong. They were desperate. They needed somebody that night. I decided to be nice and agreed to work for them just that one night. So I guess I quit that job before I was actually even hired, but I still put in a full shift.

The longest I've ever kept a job is my current teaching gig. I've been teaching at the college since January of 1990, but I've been working for the college since January of 1984 (and I started there as a student in August of 1978). I'll probably be there until I die.

[MadMike]

My ex got a job at a clothing store, and got caught stealing on the first day.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Store1 had a guy last 3 hours. He hadn't even gotten out on the floor yet...just read the "learning library" booklets and sat in the office with the manager learning how to look stuff up and whatnot. Apparently he felt it would be too hard for him.

[Caveat Emptor]

My shortest *job* was an hour. (I have never walked out on any job.) Well, reaaly only 15 minutes, but I had to be paid for a full hour per the temp contract. The job? Go to a supermarket warehouse. I was directed to a bin full of basted dog bones. Put one bone in a plastic bag, tie with a twisty, lather, rinse repeat until finished.

[Terry]

Yep, I quit my first job on the first day(6 hour shift). I was a bus boy at a local restaurant. The thing is, the section in the back was a pain in the ass to walk over. The section next to the sink(where I took the dishes) didn't even have a foundation. It was just big rocks. It was very slippery and bumpy. I had to pull the dish cart over the rocks trying not to slip and make sure the damn cart didn't fall over, which it did a few times. You really had to be there to see how bad it was. It was a shitty thing anybody had to go through. Plus I was concerned for my safety. I can't believe that all other areas in the back were on the foundation and had tiled flooring, and they had this little dish washer shit hole with nothing but rocks covering the damn dirt below it. For Christ's sake, the place has been there 80 years. Hell no. I quit.

[Fawn]

Quit a telemarketing job 3 days into it. I had already made one enemy in the room because she thought she was the best and insisted on making comments to me about my "horrible work" constantly. Screw that.

Now, firing on the other hand....
I'm disabled. I tell you this because thats the catalyst to my story.
I have severe Panic Attacks and Agoraphobia. So working is nearly impossible sometimes, but I can work (very hard at that).
I went in for my first scheduled (payed) training day. They were showing us around the store and I had a panic attack. The manager/supervisor/whatever takes me into the office to calm down (Legally I can't tell an employer until after I'm hired due to prejudice). I explained that I had panic attacks (Just to mention that I couldn't tell her beforehand because she was talking constantly to the group of us and never stopped). This caused her to fire me because in her opinion I wouldn't be able to handle the job (I was able too, but required time to cool down when panic started) and that I would be a poor representation of the company. I was balling so I just left and never looked back. I didn't even think about going to the BBB or Labour board at the time (I was 18 or soemthing like that).

Anyways, ya, I was fired in 10 minutes. VERY Off Topic, but I really needed to get that out because it still bugs me to this day and I still have a very hard time finding a job.

[smileyeagle1021]

Not really the shortest high to fire/quit... but some of the stories about being forced to work sick reminds me of the quickest from good standing to out the door. When I worked at National Car rental I worked the returns section, checking cars for damage before they could be checked back in. It was horrible working conditions, I worked the afternoon/evening shift, it was in the parking garage, dark, dirty, and cold beyond belief in the winter. From January to the end of March I had a chronic cough that would not go away and there were some days where I was so sick that I would nearly pass out at work... one of my coworkers was actually hospitalized because of the environment. Now, there are people who have strong lung systems (or are used to it already because of things like smoking or having grown up in the smog filled valley, rather than Reno which is nowhere near as bad as salt lake) who do great in that job, I was born without fully developed lungs so for me (and my asthmatic coworker who went to the hospital) it was hell on earth. The tipping point was a three events within 2 weeks... first they refused to give me an HOUR off to catch a flight to my cousin's wedding, second they refused to let me go home sick despite my cough being worse than normal, and third they hired two royal douchebags who on their second day thought they knew how to do my job better than I did... I walked off 3 days after they were hired hearing them constantly telling me how well they could do my job.

[Damien]

1 day... I went to work in the Parks and Wildlife back in Australia .... a practical joke by the one who was training me left me with with a bruised and bleeding face and a cracked collar bone .... I never went back. (My dad did as a police officer, and boy, did it hit the fan)...

I have never worked longer than 2 years in any job (hence why I have taught in 5 schools in the past 9 years)... but that is about to be broken as I have signed up for my 3rd year in my current school

[bigjimaz]

I got a job at a telemarketing center through the employment office. I showed up and the lead was explaining to me what they do, which was calling people soliciting funds for a charity, or so I thought initially. When they gave me the card to memorize and I saw that I would not be allowed to use my real name, that I had to lie to people and tell them I represented the Police Athletic League and that I was a police officer, I said "f**k if I'm going to impersonate a cop" and walked out. I was there all of about 45 minutes. When I left, I went directly to the Pittsburgh Police and told them but I never heard anything afterward. This was back in the mid 1980's.

[Sableonblonde]

[QUOTEI have severe Panic Attacks and Agoraphobia. So working is nearly impossible sometimes, but I can work (very hard at that).
I went in for my first scheduled (payed) training day. They were showing us around the store and I had a panic attack. The manager/supervisor/whatever takes me into the office to calm down (Legally I can't tell an employer until after I'm hired due to prejudice). ][/QUOTE]

I'm sorry to hear that, that whole situation was pretty unfair to you. I can sympathize because I used to suffer from really bad anxiety and panic attacks all the time too, before I learned how to cure myself. But back in 2005, I was in one of my bad periods where I was hit with panic attacks whenever I left my house, but irregardless I still had to find a job. I got called back for an interview for this job I really wanted, doing data entry, and in restrospect it was kind of funny because I was having a full blown panic attack during the entire interview. So I'm sitting at this table across from my prospective supervisor, trying to sound impressive and personable and responsible and perfect for the job, and all the while I'm trying so hard to hide the fact that I am having this giant panic attack! LOL! I was lightheaded and my mind was all fuzzy, my heart is racing and I'm afraid I'm going to pass out. It was the same thing during the tour of the office. But somehow I just pulled it out, got through, and then I was hired the next day. Damn, that was a challange though.

I hope you've been able to overcome your panic attacks. The way I've found is that you just have to ignore them and keep pushing forward regardless...mind over matter.

[Norton]

a practical joke by the one who was training me left me with with a bruised and bleeding face and a cracked collar bone

Whoa... sorry to hear that, but now I'm curious as to the joke that led to your injury. Care to give details?

[Becks]

Rumor has it that someone quit rather quickly into orientation. I'll have to see if I can find out how true that is.

[blas]

Supposedly the newbie I am getting next week was supposed to start orientation three weeks ago, but called in. Then no showed the next week for orientation. They gave the farking moron another chance. OMG he actually showed this week.

Anyone else wanna bet some pretty pennies that he won't show up his first night or last more than a couple of weeks?

I'm definetly not going to do any paperwork until he can prove he's going to stay. It isn't worth my time and effort.

So desperate for people that they'll let people NCNS to orientation. Nice. Nice.