Ridiculous Policy

[crazylegs]

We all know how much Head Office like to treat us like kids, or issue ridiculous statements, well, here is a thread to share, and an example to kick it all off.

At [last job] I was responsible for implementing the Health and Safety policy, this meant I had to read it. Yes thats right, the entire policy. One phrase leapt out from the 1000+ page document

"if your stapler has jammed, do not test it by placing your thumb over the end and causing it to work".

How many accident forms were needed to generate that gem?

[edible_hat]

I had to read and pass a test on a training manual that included a section on cyclones. Even though I'm way south of the cyclone zone, I still had to pass the cyclone test.

[hecubus]

Back in the 70s, OSHA (for those not in the U.S. that's the Occupational Sfety and Health Administration) released a booklet on farm safety, which contained the following gem:

"Manure on a barn floor may be slippery."

The farmers in my home town got a huge laugh out of that one.

The same agency once released a 17 page booklet on the proper use of a ladder.

[powerboy]

I had to read the policy about the ladders. I already know how to use one.

[repsac]

I've got a book floating around here somewhere that compiles a ton of rules for the old Central of Georgia Railroad.

Some of them though stick in my mind:

Do not touch the firebox door when locomotive is under steam. (ok, why would anyone need to touch a sheet of iron that's got a 1200 degree fire burning inches from it?)

Do not place ladders on the sides of cars when painting. Any car can be moved at any time. (This just brings a funny picture to mind. Some guy painting a boxcar, only to have the car move.)

Always ensure Switches are either full open, or full closed and not halfway. (hmm, given that halfway would cause an accident, you have to wonder why they even needed to mention this...)

And my favorite, told to passengers in older coaching stock... (Usually a BRIGHT yellow sign in the toilet) DO NOT FLUSH WHEN IN STATIONS!

(reason is simple. Older coaching stock don't have waste tanks. Everything just dumps right out onto the rails...)

[RayvenQ]

We all know how much Head Office like to treat us like kids, or issue ridiculous statements, well, here is a thread to share, and an example to kick it all off.

At [last job] I was responsible for implementing the Health and Safety policy, this meant I had to read it. Yes thats right, the entire policy. One phrase leapt out from the 1000+ page document

"if your stapler has jammed, do not test it by placing your thumb over the end and causing it to work".

How many accident forms were needed to generate that gem?

I did that with the stapler myself when I was at school, suprisingly it didn't really hurt so I left the staple in all day and kept looking at it.

[repsac]

Uh...RayvenQ Ever hear of a little illness called "Tetanus?"

[RayvenQ]

Uh...RayvenQ Ever hear of a little illness called "Tetanus?"

Yep, but I lived didn't i? Besides I was young at the time and the Staple was clean (albeit a bit bloody) so I wasn't worried