how to derail a call center script?

[Gurndigarn]

I was on the phone today, trying to get a warranty repair set up for my dishwasher. After reading these boards, I've gotten a general feel for what call center drones go through... but this one... I don't know what was prompting this....

Call Center Guy (CCG): Gives opening spiel, ends with "How can I help you?"
Me: "Can you get someone to change the muzak? Or at least not repeat the same segment of song every twenty seconds?" (Yes, it did. Every freaking 20 seconds!)
CCG: "Yes sir, I do apologize for that, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
Me: "Yeah, I've got a problem with a dishwasher."
CCG: "I'ld be very happy to help you with that. What seems to be the problem?"

Oh, boy, it's going to be one of those kinds of calls. There seems to be an escalation of how excited call center people have to be about solving problems. It started off as "Let's see what we can do for you." Then it became "I'ld be happy to help you with that." Now they have to be "very happy". I'm just dreading the day it becomes "orgasmicaly excited to help you" and memos go out to start headhunting at select 1-900 phone number call centers.

Me: describes problem in a sort of meandering way
CCG: "Yes sir, I do apologize for that, sir. Do >crackle< >hiss< number?"
Me: "I'm sorry, phone cut out for a moment. Can you repeat that?"
CCG: "Yes sir, I do apologize for that, sir. Do you have the model and serial number of the dishwasher?"
Me: "No, sorry, I'm on the road."
CCG: "I do apologize for that, sir."

What... the... hell? I know you're supposed to make the customer feel special... but please, do that with quick, accurate service. Not with excessive apologies. Basic facts: you have a headset connected to a landline. I have a five-year-old cell phone with a missing antenna and the numbers rubbed off all the buttons. Who do you think is having the problems? And why are you apologizing for me making the call from a car? So, I decide to give him a way off the hook.

Me: "And hey, if anyone is monitoring this call, HE CAN STOP APOLOGIZING!"
CCG: "Yes sir, I do apologize for that, sir."

OK, the call progresses. He's going to do a partial account for me, minus serial, model, and date of purchase.

CCG: "Sir, can I get your name, please, sir?"
Me: "Gurndigarn. That's Godzilla, Usher, Rodan, Nightmare, Dracula, Igor, Godzilla, Alien, Rodan, Nightmare."
CCG: "Let me repeat that back to you. That was Godzilla, Usher, Rodan, Nightmare, Dracula, Igor, Godzilla, Alien, Nightmare."
Me: "Godzilla, Alien, Rodan, Nightmare."
CCG: "Godzilla, Alien, Rodan, Nightmare. I do apologize for that, sir... Mr... Grandigurn—

CCG: —Now, Mr. Grandigurn, can I get your address, please, Mr. Grandigurn?"
Me: [gives info]
CCG: "And, Mr. Grandigurn, can I also get your city, state, and zip code, please, Mr. Grandigurn?"
Me: [gives info, in much weaker voice]
CCG: "Now, I have a list of dealers in your area, Mr. Grandigurn. Would you like me to give you the list, Mr. Grandigurn?"
Me: "I'm still on the road."
CCG: "Yes sir, I do apologize for that, Mr. Grandigurn.—

I didn't freaking see that one coming, did I? At least he didn't mangle my name twice during that last sentence.

CCG: — Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Besides have your call center undo the spinal extraction operation they did on you?

Me: "No, thank you."
CCG: "Then I do apologize for the problems you are having—

I never would have guessed.

CCG: — and want to thank you for calling [manufacturer]."


So, for all the call center people out there: I hate having people who I don't know using my name. Especially not repeatedly. Most especially not incorrectly. But I have a name that is tricky for most people, so I don't like correcting it, either. And I don't like people apologizing for things that aren't their fault, especially not when they're my fault. Hey, I'm the one who's supposed to be feeling foolish, not you. On the other hand, he's probably been ordered to do that by some bozo in a suit who's never worked with the peons, so I don't want to yell at him for it, even though I was ready to tear my hair out by the time I was finished. What do you do in a case like this?

[marasbaras]

What do you do? I'm afraid the short answer is suck it up.

If they don't apologize enough, some wanker will whine about them being rude. Most likely someone who tried to wash their motorcycle engine in the dishwasher, gummed up the works, and now blames the manufacturer for defects.

[powerboy]

Yeah, just suck it up. And it sounded as if you were a sucky one. Can't blame you. I know how you feel, I hate it when people tell me that they are sorry, when it is clearly my fault.

[rerant]

Me: "And hey, if anyone is monitoring this call, HE CAN STOP APOLOGIZING!"

If you really said that to him them I'm afraid that makes you the sucky one.
It's annoying that they use your name, it's annoying that they apologize constantly, but they're just doing what they're supposed to.
Surely you wouldn't want someone to rip into you for just doing your job.

[Sylvia727]

I don't think the OP was "ripping into" the guy, he was just trying to bypass the craziness by letting the supervisor know it was okay to stop apologizing.

[CancelMyService]

I'm always being told I need to "show empathy" to my callers by apologizing for whatever their ailment is. I don't apologize for anything unless a customer is personally treated bad by a co-worker. I'm not going to apologize for someone being a nitwit and forgetting to pay their bill, resulting in a service interruption.

So basically, call center employees are told to be empathetic as possible (and some might get graded on it) which of course leads some to go overboard.

I also hate the "someone I don't know using my name" thing too. I actually have some kind of mental block about referring to people by their name, i hate doing it.

[Imprl59]

What do you do? I'm afraid the short answer is suck it up.

If they don't apologize enough, some wanker will whine about them being rude. Most likely someone who tried to wash their motorcycle engine in the dishwasher, gummed up the works, and now blames the manufacturer for defects.

Hey. How did you know about that? The cat is the only person that saw me do it and he promised not to tell a soul. You better not tell my SO what those black marks are on the racks or I'm going to catch hell again.

Steve B.

[crashhelmet]

I'm always being told I need to "show empathy" to my callers by apologizing for whatever their ailment is. I don't apologize for anything unless a customer is personally treated bad by a co-worker. I'm not going to apologize for someone being a nitwit and forgetting to pay their bill, resulting in a service interruption.

So basically, call center employees are told to be empathetic as possible (and some might get graded on it) which of course leads some to go overboard.

This is a complaint I had when I was working tech support for the big brown truck company. They kept stressing empathy. "We need to be empathetic to our customers. They don't want sympathy."

First off. Learn your words and their definitions. Empathetic means "I know how you feel" Sympathetic means "I'm sorry for how you feel." Conveying the two is all in the words that you use. However, if we were empathetic and not sympathetic, we got marked down on QA for not being "empathetic."

The other thing that pisse dme off about this was we were suporting other big brown truck employees. They weren't customers. Customers are people you hate and deal with because you must. Other employees are teammates that you should work together with to get things done. Ugh. I'll save the rest of that rant for another post.

CH

[Gurndigarn]

Me: "And hey, if anyone is monitoring this call, HE CAN STOP APOLOGIZING!"

If you really said that to him them I'm afraid that makes you the sucky one.

OK, I'm curious. Why does this make me sucky? I might have phrased it differently, possibly, but seriously, it was nauseating just how much this guy was apologizing, and I was trying to give him the ability to stop. I don't appreciate it when people expect me to kill their ass, so I assume other people feel the same way, and would jump at the possibility.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

OK, I'm curious. Why does this make me sucky? I might have phrased it differently, possibly, but seriously, it was nauseating just how much this guy was apologizing, and I was trying to give him the ability to stop. I don't appreciate it when people expect me to kill their ass, so I assume other people feel the same way, and would jump at the possibility.

Because the person taking your call was just doing their job. If he's apologizing to you that constantly and frequently, there's a good chance he was told to do so by management or flunked an audit because of it, because I don't think he'd do so otherwise.

It's kind of like snapping at a cashier when they ask you if you want to sign up for their credit card, discount card, or try to sell you other things. Yeah, it's annoying but they're just doing what they were told.

That being said, don't beat yourself up over it. It wasn't the worst crime in the world.

[lush]

So basically, call center employees are told to be empathetic as possible (and some might get graded on it) which of course leads some to go overboard.

I also hate the "someone I don't know using my name" thing too. I actually have some kind of mental block about referring to people by their name, i hate doing it.

I got hit twice for not being empathetic, I just can't be in all cases (it's a shame I can't say "Sorry you're an idiot and screaming at me because your TV isn't on channel 3")

I actually argued over the name thing, I was not raised to address a stranger by name, it's always been Ma'am or Sir, unless they say "Hey, call me *whatever*". So I don't like being addressed by name by a stranger, I don't feel comfortable calling a stranger by name.

[Peppergirl]

For the record, I don't think the OP was intentionally sucky. I think he was trying to let the monitors know that forcing these poor call-center techs to keep apologizing and sounding like drones is pointless. Painful for both the employee AND the customer.

Just my .02 cents.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I usually get around the name thing by saying "Mr. or Mrs. NAME" rather than sir or ma'am, but I hate using first names.

I've been stuck on the empathy vs sympathy thing too, basically we are supposed to show empathy for any and all customer frustration experienced, whether service or product related or whatever.

They recently brought in new quality assurance procedures at my centers in which we are required to use VERBATIM SCRIPTS for certain portions of the call. Say "how can I help you today?" instead of "and what can I take care of for you today?" and you fail a call. It's that hardcore. With any luck I'll be done soon because it's the most stressful job you can imagine, both dealing with customers and the bs policies of management.

[edible_hat]

I find just hanging up works to end the call center scripts... of course it only works when you're being called by a company that's either ignoring or exploiting a loophole in the do not call register, not when you're calling in.

Seriously, the company that provides my home phone called me three times last week asking if I want to switch my phone to them. One more and I'll switch companies out of spite.

[Gravekeeper]

They try to encourage that at my call center too. Using the caller's name etc. I never do. I *hate* it when operators do it to me and I don't know anyone thats not urked by it. No one in the office likes doing it. Its beyond me why companies keep trying. It actually peeves off some callers. ><