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:Waggles fingers: You WILL believe every word that comes out of my mouth!

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  • #1

    :Waggles fingers: You WILL believe every word that comes out of my mouth!

    example 1:
    emo kid: p, p, p, where are the p's?
    me: didnt you know? they stopped the alphabet at N.
    emo kid: ...
    me: ...

    example 2:
    dude: do you work here?
    me (with ringing phone, nametag, nice clothes, rearranging books): no.
    dude: oh. you kinda looked like an employee. okay (walks away).

    example 3: (in cafe)
    woman: didnt i just see you in the music deparment?
    me: no, that was my twin sister. we wear the same clothes.
    woman: oh, well she was very nice.
    me: ...
    woman: tell your sister she was very helpful.
    me: ...okay. (to coworker) im gonna go out on the floor and see if i can convince her im triplets.
    Kim: She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.

    I'd like to exercise my constitutional right to not give a fuck.
    Tags: None
  • #2


    Nice. What's your secret? Maybe you should start spreading the word that the Customer is Not Always Right - defer to the superiority of the retail employee!!
    "If life ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing?" - Gerard Way

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    • #3
      Ah, the old Jedi mind trick!

      "These aren't the droids you are looking for."
      I don't have an anger problem! I have an idiot problem!-Hank Hill

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth B&NGoddess View Post
        emo kid: p, p, p, where are the p's?
        Well I just finished a really large soda so come back in an hour or so.
        How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

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        • #5
          Quoth B&NGoddess View Post
          example 3: (in cafe)
          woman: didnt i just see you in the music deparment?
          me: no, that was my twin sister. we wear the same clothes.
          woman: oh, well she was very nice.
          me: ...
          woman: tell your sister she was very helpful.
          me: ...okay. (to coworker) im gonna go out on the floor and see if i can convince her im triplets.
          I wanna do that!
          Now a member of that alien race called Management.

          Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

          Comment

          • #6
            You're evil.

            I like you.
            Unseen but seeing
            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
            3rd shift needs love, too
            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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            • #7
              ya know I think the sucky customers might implode if there really were 3 B&NGoddesses . . . . .

              I like your humor.

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              • #8
                You must teach me the ways of the retailer. For I too wish to control the minds of the stupid.
                "Oh, by the way..." All of my HATE

                Ou kata nomon = Not according to the accepted norm

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                • #9
                  Quoth Trayol View Post
                  You must teach me the ways of the retailer. For I too wish to control the minds of the stupid.
                  ditto for me

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                  • #10
                    Quoth B&NGoddess View Post
                    example 3: (in cafe)
                    woman: didnt i just see you in the music deparment?
                    me: no, that was my twin sister. we wear the same clothes.
                    woman: oh, well she was very nice.
                    me: ...
                    woman: tell your sister she was very helpful.
                    me: ...okay. (to coworker) im gonna go out on the floor and see if i can convince her im triplets.
                    ...I'd've believed you. But then again, I know a pair of similiar (fraternal, but strong family resemblence) and mischievous twins.

                    I'd've drawn the line at triplets, though.
                    "If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking." - George Patton

                    "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." - Albert Einstein

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                    • #11
                      I have a friend who likes to tell a story about being pulled over for speeding by ChP on the way to Las Vegas.

                      He got pulled over again shortly after passing the state line into Nevada. By the ChP officer's twin brother.

                      They liked to call each other when they caught speeders on the way along that stretch of highway, because they were pretty much guaranteed to catch them a second time.

                      ^-.-^
                      Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                      • #12
                        Quoth B&NGoddess View Post
                        me: ...okay. (to coworker) im gonna go out on the floor and see if i can convince her im triplets.
                        Pure awesome.

                        I love this type of thing.

                        C: Are you open?
                        Me: (Light on saying "Open" checking another person out, no sign out or anything) No.

                        C: Do you sell Blah?
                        Me: (Standing next to it, holding items in hand, putting them away) No.
                        I am a Blank Space for spacing purposes, ignore me.
                        In order to treat someone as your equal, you first need to believe both: that they are your equal, and that you are their's.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Quoth B&NGoddess View Post
                          example 2:
                          dude: do you work here?
                          me (with ringing phone, nametag, nice clothes, rearranging books): no.
                          dude: oh. you kinda looked like an employee. okay (walks away).
                          Customers that dumb deserved to be tricked.
                          "I don't have an anger problem I have an idiot problem!" - Hank Hill

                          When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt, run around in little circles, wave your arms and shout!

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