Your most embarrassing loud speaker moments

[alphaboi]

Attention customers, the time is know 9:55 and Weis Markets will be closing in 5 minutes. At this time we ask that you bring your final selections to the front where our cashiers will be happy to kick you out. Thank you for shopping at your ____ Weis.

There where only 3 people in the store and the duty manager thought it was hilarious. Oh and there was the time our front-end monitor, L, started all of the closing annoucments (every 5 minutes from 9:45 to 10) with "Attention K-Mart shoppers". L hadn't worked at K-Mart for over 5 years then.

[Thrifty]

Okay this one wasn't so bad, but it embarassed me because I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did.

One extremely busy day we had to horrible kids running around the store. I had only one cashier and was doing back up on the other register. I was trying to get away to stop them but was having trouble. Finally the line clears and I find the boys and have them go to their parent. Kids aren't listening so I decide to get on the PA and do our standard plea when kids are running around crazy.

Usually it goes something like Atten. Cust. we ask that you keep your children with you at all times.

But I was so tired and upset at the time that I said "Atten. Cust. we've asked you to keep your children with you at all times PLEASE RESPECT THAT"

The best part the mother completely ignored it.

[Think Blue]

Once I was supposed to page the owner because he was no where to be found and he needed to sign off on important forms. I was in the break room watching a day game (baseball) and was trying to acomplish both tasks when the moment happened.

As I was paging my boss there was a home run against the Dodgers and this gem happened.

Me: Ted please come up to the foy F*** THAT Son-of-a *****, bulls***, screw you Padres

I'm no longer allowed to page people while watching baseball

[CrazedClerk]

Not a personal story, but my friend used to work at a local grocery store and their paging system was on a delay thing of some kind. Basically you'd pick up the phone, make a page, and a couple of seconds later it would be broadcast.

However when my friend started there he didn't realize this, so he picked up to do a page and upon hearing nothing, said "oh I guess this thing isn't working."

Two seconds later, he found out he was wrong.

[JustAGirl]

It was a monday... I wasn't completely with it... Hangover perhaps? I don't remember. I was making a PA and completely blanked in the middle of it.

Like staring at the handset and thinking. "Why am I holding the handset? What was I doing a minute ago?"

so I said something along the lines of . "Oh.. Umm wow... Mondays are not good days to make PA announcements... I'm going to hang up now." Over the PA system throughout the entire store. ;-)

**wipes monitor with towels**

oh dear if I heard that while browsing I'd have died on the floor laughin...

**gigglefit**

[staticradio]

numbers, please...

I once goofed on what register I was on (#13) and we state to whoever we want to contact by putting a 2 in front (213). and, for some odd reason, I spat out "grocery, call 238...er, wait..." CSM looking at me funny "grocery call 213..."

I'd really like to state what I've said here before on customers littering up the store and get away with it, but that probably would not be wise if one wants to keep their job. drat...

[staticradio]

don't force my hand...

Okay this one wasn't so bad, but it embarassed me because I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did.

One extremely busy day we had to horrible kids running around the store. I had only one cashier and was doing back up on the other register. I was trying to get away to stop them but was having trouble. Finally the line clears and I find the boys and have them go to their parent. Kids aren't listening so I decide to get on the PA and do our standard plea when kids are running around crazy.

Usually it goes something like Atten. Cust. we ask that you keep your children with you at all times.

But I was so tired and upset at the time that I said "Atten. Cust. we've asked you to keep your children with you at all times PLEASE RESPECT THAT"

The best part the mother completely ignored it.

I'd be like paging something to the effect of:

"attention customer, please attend to your children, or we will be forced to sick the dogs on them...and they're hungry...so don't try our patience, ok?"

I gurantee she doesn't ignore that page...

j/k...maybe...

[Thrifty]

"attention customer, please attend to your children, or we will be forced to sick the dogs on them...and they're hungry...so don't try our patience, ok?"

hehe I should have totally done that, especially since I was the only manager on duty at that point. I still wouldn't be surprised if she ignored it though the way this mother was But I bet other parents in the store would have grabbed their kids.

[Tria]

I'd be like paging something to the effect of:

"attention customer, please attend to your children, or we will be forced to sick the dogs on them...and they're hungry...so don't try our patience, ok?"

Then she'd sue because you threatened her children and hurt her feelings.

[Department stores *sigh*]

heh we had a promotion for the Fat Albert dvd so i go on the PA and do his HEY HEY HEY!! over the pa :P freaked out everyone couse they thought it was a joke but nope, im a white guy who can sound like a 400 lb black guy

[Zinjadu]

Once, one of the cashiers meant to call for another large till to be opened, but what she said over the PA was: Can we get another large cashier, please?

B, one of our male cashiers, who's like 60, tries to make closing announcements and always ends up getting things mixed up, and says 'uhhh' way too much, like every third word! We all just laugh cuz it's too funny!

I refuse to make announcements cuz I always get the giggles - all I have to do is pick up the phone, try to think what I'm going to say, and I start laughing - hopeless case.

[Crosshair]

My mom is gona kill me if she finds out I posted this.

My mom told me this story tonight. Pray she doesn't find out I posted it here.

She was a naive young woman at the time working in a drug store at the register in the 1970's. She told me about when she had a price check for a man during the evening shift. The page went like this, "Price check on register 3 for prophylactics." She didn't get into trouble because the man dropped the box and was out the door as soon as she said that on the PA. She had no idea what a prophylactic was. I was laughing my butt off when she told me this story. Hope nobody is drinking anything right now.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

This didn't happen to me, but it could have.

At my store we used to pull some pretty good pranks on new employees. One time we paged a new employee to dial 5-0-134.

At our store, to make pages, you dial 5-0 and then start talking. So this girl did as we asked, dialed 5-0, and then everybody got to hear the touch-tones as she dialed 134.

We were nearby and we busted out laughing. Coworker realized she had been had, and said "Oh s-bomb!" She had not hung up yet, so everybody got to hear that too.

[repsac]

working in customer service at Lowe's, I did some doozies. I think the worst, was picking up the phone to make an announcement and belching into the phone. It wasn't a quiet one either, but rather a long loud one. I think that announcement was something like "Hardware, please call BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP. uh.. click."


When I first started, I did a simple. "Oops." having dailed the wrong number. Though our SM did the best when he picked up the line to page someone on the floor. I think his page went:

Would Appliances please call 201? Appliance...ok, who farted? Wait. uh..yeah, appliances 201. (click)."

[Sunsetsky]

I hate paging. I always say um after every other word. Once I was working the self checkouts and I had a customer ask me to page someone. While I was paging, I was watching another customer on one of the self checks. I can't remember what he was doing but I stopped talking for a moment and was about to tell him how to do whatever he was trying to do properly. It went something like this:

"Attention all walmart customers, will -customer's name- please meet your party at..................um.....................si..... ...............the....GM doors."