How not to get a job

[skeptic53]

"But, um, are you the one who checks that kind of thing or is there like a person who's hired specifically for that?"

In 1970 or 71 at my high school a male assistant principal suspected a female student of going bra-less under her long-sleeve T-shirt. He hauled her down to the office, and with a female secretary present, had her jump up and down!!! He decided she was in fact sans brassiere, and suspended her. Her parents went to the media, the paper printed a photo of her wearing her striped long sleeve T and looking utterly mortified. The shirt was not tight, she was not bosomy, so what made him suspect the dastardly infraction, I don't know. If I were her, I'd hate both the AP and the parents... perfect justification to run off and join a commune...

[protege]

I worked a number of jobs in corporate type environments and hated them all. I got these jobs playing the dress-up and have a pretty resume game.

You're not the only one. After having to dress-up every day for school (gotta love those damn Catholic school uniforms), I totally hate it. Why is it that "nice" clothes are the most uncomfy things ever?

For the first time I looked for a job before I needed one. Since I didn't need a job I decided to do an experiment. I dressed the way I would show up if I had the job and my resume was printed on plain white paper. The theory being that a company that read the resume instead of fawned over fancy paper and talked to me instead of comparing my clothes to some fashion magazine would have a relatively low portion of idiots.

I've always done that for interviews. To me, it's all about your first impression. For example, at one of my last jobs (the bank), I wore a suit and tie even though I was a lowly intern. My boss said that I didn't have to--he wore one simply because he was comfortable with it. I *could* have simply gone "business casual," but I chose not to. Since I was working at a small-town bank, and knew several of the board members, I thought I'd "play it up" a bit. It wasn't so much about brown-nosing, but simply trying to get ahead in the industry.

I figured, that most of the higher-ups wore suits to the office, and if I was going to impress them, I probably should do the same. Also, if I was going to be working at a bank full-time, I thought I should get used to the idea.

As for the "fancy paper" resumes, I don't waste my time with that. Sure, I'll use a slightly higher-quality paper, but I'm not going to spend a fortune on it

[Becks]

Usually for interviews, I wear nice black pants, dressy shoes, and a nice top that goes with the weather/season.

Two exceptions--
One was for a Marshall's store (it was the week I was working at the dollar store, while waiting for the results of my drug test for Goodwill...wow, was I ever in demand). I was "working" next door at the dollar store, and went to my interview in my "uniform", but I was up front about starting a new job the next week or so.

The second one was for the store I'm working at now. I'd dropped off the application, and the man of the household took me in (he worked there at the time) to ask if they'd seen my application yet. I was wearing jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, etc., and didn't look my best. They KIND OF interviewed me, and then set me up for orientation. Ah, the good old days when you had a good chance of being hired if you knew someone who already worked there...

[Sofar]

I love to dress up. I wear a tie, slacks, waistcoat, blazer, the works, pretty much everywhere I go. Usually the only special thing I do for an interview is get the blazer cleaned. The only problem is, I'm male and I have long hair. Usually I pull it back and braid it if I'm going to an interview, but I suspect that still has put more than one potential employer off.

[Tria]

I love to dress up. I wear a tie, slacks, waistcoat, blazer, the works, pretty much everywhere I go. Usually the only special thing I do for an interview is get the blazer cleaned. The only problem is, I'm male and I have long hair. Usually I pull it back and braid it if I'm going to an interview, but I suspect that still has put more than one potential employer off.

Guy with long hair? I'd hire you.... Um.... But you wouldn't be cooking, cleaning or working with customers.... Sorry, long hair fetish.

[TNT]

And you're going to tell us all about this "incident" now...right?

Well... okay. During training, we sat two to a desk. A guy about 18 was sitting at the table across from me, beside a woman.

For whatever reasons, the guy developed what they used to call, That Problem Peculiar to the Male of the Species. He was extremely embarrassed, and did everything he could to hide it.

The woman sitting beside noticed his discomfort, and thought it was the funniest thing she'd seen a long time. She told three people about it... me, my panties-free seatmate, and a woman who sat at the very back of the room, which was as far from the scene as she could possibly be.

Me and my seatmate thought it was hilarious, too. The third woman, though, immediately went to the boss. "I simply cannot be in the same room with that man ever again, knowing that he... he... he... has erections."

And the guy was immediately fired for sexual harassment.

Okay... we all have our sensitivities and I've no clue what may have happened to her at some other time in life. She had her reasons, and whatever those reasons may be, I'm sympathetic. Then again, it wasn't like he he paraded about the room saying, "Hey everybody, look! I seem to have developed a problem. Ha. Ha."

At any rate, HR decided we all needed an extended course in "Appropriate Standards In the Workplace." It was probably the most bizarre hours I've ever spent at work.

Just for educational purposes, I was tempted to bring up how it was I knew beyond any doubt that my seatmate wasn't wearing "appropriate undergarments," but it just didn't seem like the right time. They told us on the first day that "since your lunch hour is unpaid, you're on your own time, not ours."

[Discourtesy Clerk]

Whoa. Poor guy. There's sexual harassment, and then there's overreacting... Yes, lady. He has erections. Men do that. Especially 18-year-olds who can't quite figure out how to keep it down yet.

What a prude. He wasn't showing it to her, or talking about it. Sexual harassment requires intent, and I seriously doubt he intended to get wood in the middle of training. If anyone should be pinned with harassment, it's the girl who was announcing it to the whole room!

[JuniorMintz]

Me and my seatmate thought it was hilarious, too. The third woman, though, immediately went to the boss. "I simply cannot be in the same room with that man ever again, knowing that he... he... he... has erections."

If anything, *she* should be fired for looking, or at least participating in office gossip about it. Poor kid.

I just hope the very next time the A/C is on high and her headlights turn on, someone goes to HR about HER. "I simply cannot be in the same room as that woman ever again, knowing that she...she...she... sometimes has pointy nipples!"

[pbmods]

Salesmanship

The general rule of thumb for job interviews is you want to dress like you would on your best day at that job. You don't want to be so casual that they don't take you seriously, but you don't want to get overdressed to the point where you look like you don't belong.

I remember I once blew an interview because the interviewer just couldn't get over the fact that I wore a tie to the interview (the position was a networking consultant, and it wouldn't have been a good fit for me anyway).

Job interviewing is sales; you have to sell yourself. Resumés can be fed into computers, but a human being is the one that decides whom to hire.

While it is a fine philosophy to dress how you want and therefore only get offered the jobs that you would like to have, I prefer to "jump through the hoops" with potential employers so that *I* can be the one to pick my job.

[TheRoo]

Back in the day when I managed a gas station, a kid came in about 15 years old or so. His pants were about halfway down his thighs, and he asked me "How old do you have to be to work here?"

"Old enough to buy a belt."

He didn't think it was nearly as funny as I did.

[Becks]

Roo, best comeback I've heard to that question!!!!!!!

[Seanette]

Back in the day when I managed a gas station, a kid came in about 15 years old or so. His pants were about halfway down his thighs, and he asked me "How old do you have to be to work here?"

"Old enough to buy a belt."

He didn't think it was nearly as funny as I did.

Great response!

[CrazedClerk]

That was a good reply to that.

I have a striped power suit that I love to wear to interviews, I feel so confident wearing that thing, it's great You always got to dress to impress.

[Discourtesy Clerk]

My interview outfit is this snap-up, wrinkle-proof black collared shirt and a pair of conservative tan corduroys, with black wedge heels. It's casual enough to still be my style, but it's professional enough to be taken seriously. It's now my lucky interview outfit, because I got my current job on the first try wearing that...

Oh, and I love the thing about the belt. Sounds like something I'd say. Usually when I can see most of a guy's boxers, I start singing the "Pull up your pants/They're hanging off your butt" song that my friends made up in middle school. They don't expect that.

[dispatch]

I have never interviewed anywhere that I wasn't hired at, and damned if I haven't seen some things in the HR waiting room that made me think "this is my competition? if I don't get hired I'm hybernating for the rest of my life."
even when I had long hair I made sure to throw it out there that I'd cut it off if I had to (the gesture was usually enough to impress, until I went to work for the cruise line) and extended my hand before they did theirs, puts them off gaurd.