The Piddle Fountain -- an extremely mild rant

[Kiwi]

dishwashing liquid

[Dips]

My boss, however, loves the fountain. I don't know why. It's a ghastly ceramic thing <snip>

I MUST see pictures of that!

I have a theory about how people get attached to piddle fountains, horrible half-dead shrubberies, hideous paint jobs and other crimes against asthetics.

The person who hangs onto these things is doing so because he or she invested time, work and/or money in them. They probably are well aware that gold-flecked, smoke grey mirror tiles look terrible in the living room, but damnit, they spent $500 and two weeks putting it up back in 1973. If they tear it down, all the money and effort is "wasted." So they spend the next ten years staring at an ugly wall rather than getting a nicer one.

It's almost as if the wall has them under some horrible spell and they can't get free until the wall is destroyed or they move away from it.

So you and everyone else sees (and hears) an ugly little piddle fountain; you boss sees an ugly little piddle fountain and the $200 she used to buy it. That's why she won't/can't get rid of it.

[Acolyte]

Here's what you do:
Pass around a collection and get the amount of money that the fountain is worth.
Have a friend come in, carrying something big, heavy and awkward.
Smite the fountain.
Have the money on hand in case the bossman insists on compensation.

[Becks]

Covertly add a few drops of liquid dishwashing soap

I wish I'd thought of that!!!!!!!!!

[Caveat Emptor]

Covertly add a few drops of liquid dishwashing soap

[Broomjockey]

I vote for subtle sabotage of the fountain. Minor alterations at strategic points. Hopefully you'll be able to get it to the point where it keeps spilling water on the floor, necessitating its removal. At the very least you'll get to take out your eventual annoyance on it.

[Antisocial_Worker]

As far as problems in the workplace go, this one's minor. I fear though, that it will grow with time the way it did at the other hotel.

The issue is that here at the Blah Inn, we've recently acquired a fountain that once graced the lobby at the Dreadful Inn, another property that we own. It cost $200, and was clearly deeply overpriced. The clerks at the Dreadful grew to hate it for the fact that it's ugly as sin, and with its hypnotic splashing it was putting them to sleep, in addition to sounding like someone peeing. Hence the moniker, the "piddle fountain."

My boss, however, loves the fountain. I don't know why. It's a ghastly ceramic thing where the water pours from what looks like broken pottery jars, from one to another to another. It used to pour from the last jar onto a little millwheel attached to a little house perched on the lip of the fountain. On the left side, across for the mini-mill is -- why not? -- a large ceramic saddle perched on a wagon wheel. Both of them dwarf the little mill and the jars.

As my boss is Hindu, I don't know why she picked this thing out. It's trailer park chic. You'd think at least we would have ended up with an elephant, or at least a goddess with lots of arms and anger management issues. Instead, we have the piddle fountain. I helped my boss install it in the lobby last night.

It's been going all night and it's already getting on my nerves a little. Not much. Yet.