Shit.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Looks like management is trying to hold us freight and carryout monkeys more responsible for helping push our stupid Extended Protection Plans.

We're starting a new EPP-selling game at the store. It's called "21." The front end manager even brought playing cards down to illustrate. Basically, the store is divided into 5 teams: Electronics, jewelry, front end, salesfloor and freight team. The first "team" to reach 21 EPPs sold wins, and everybody on that "team" wins a "break in a bag"--a 20-oz soda, a bag of chips, and a candy bar.

Such a wonderful, valuable prize, eh?

So where do I come in? The store manager attended a meeting for store managers in the region or district, and the manager from some other store said he was having the carryout people mention the EPP when they were delivering furniture or TVs or such. And people were actually going back into the store to purchase an EPP they'd likely never need. Or, if they needed to use it, the company that handles them would say their issue was not covered.

Like that's going to happen in my store, where the clientele can largely be summed up thusly: old and cheap.

I'm kinda tempted to try this out, just to see how far I can get before people start swearing at me.

[crazylegs]

*Hands Irv a vest*

Sounds like you'll need it old boy!

[nomorecarts]

I've never sold one of those, and I've been a cashier for about 3 months

[Aethian]

Do it and tell us the tales.

[Iris Kojiro]

Better make that a +1 vest in case management starts to whine about how "the freight team isn't selling enough EPPs".

[Hyndis]

My standard reply is this:

"So you're telling me that the product is of such low quality that I'll have to buy an extra warranty for when it fails? Perhaps I shouldn't buy this thing in the first place, then."



Generally if its going to fail, it'll be right away, and the standard manufacturer's warranty covers it. Failure rates then plummet after the early usage period before rising again when it approaches its maximum lifespan. Thus, odds are that either it will fail immediately and its covered by the warranty, or it'll fail after many years when its all beat up and worn out anyways. The odds of it failing in the middle part are very low, which is exactly what those extended service plans claim to cover.

[digilight]

Just tell people that they should buy the EPP because you just dropped their 4 bajillion pound piece of glass shit that now goes clinkle clinkle and they may need it when they get home

Yup I'm a bastard.

[draggar]

When I worked at Staples I'd ask only twice then I'd drop it. I would hate to be nagged about it and it sounds like I would not want to buy something if I was pushed that much for the extended service plans.

Honestly, i wouldn't want someone trying to sell it to me if they were helping me bring it to my car, I've most likely already have been asked my the sales person and cashier.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

My standard reply is this:

"So you're telling me that the product is of such low quality that I'll have to buy an extra warranty for when it fails? Perhaps I shouldn't buy this thing in the first place, then."

Oh man, that would be great to explain to management.

"Yeah, I carried out this $1000 TV for a customer, and I asked them about the extended protection plan, as you said I should do in our huddle the other day, and I didn't sell the EPP but I did lose the sale on the TV. Oh well, just following orders!"

[nomorecarts]

Just tell people that they should buy the EPP because you just dropped their 4 bajillion pound piece of glass shit that now goes clinkle clinkle and they may need it when they get home

Yup I'm a bastard.

did you want the EPP? No? *drops* How bout now?

[otakuneko]

Isn't this the same store where you don't get credit for the EPPs anyway?

[Captain Trips]

Generally if its going to fail, it'll be right away, and the standard manufacturer's warranty covers it. Failure rates then plummet after the early usage period before rising again when it approaches its maximum lifespan. Thus, odds are that either it will fail immediately and its covered by the warranty, or it'll fail after many years when its all beat up and worn out anyways. The odds of it failing in the middle part are very low, which is exactly what those extended service plans claim to cover.

Hyndis, did you ever work in Reliability Engineering? Because when I did, we called it "the Bathtub Curve" (which you explained quite clearly!) In more statistical terms, the probability of failure is greatest at the beginning and end of expected life. In the middle, the probability is very low. When graphed, it looks like a cut-away of a bathtub! And it is a necessary tool when determining factory warranty periods, which are computed to last just about as long as the first, downward leg of the bathtub curve. You don't need to extend the warranty beyond that, because it isn't cost effective.

So, speaking as a former Reliability Engineer, an extended warranty is a gamble when the odds are stacked against you, or in other words "a sucker's bet."

[Chromatix]

In fact, you can extend to warranty along the bottom of the curve, because it costs relatively little to do so - you need to keep a stock of spares, but a huge one. Often you can get away with replacing with an upgrade. This is useful because customers like the peace of mind of a longer warranty.

Hard disks are a case in point. For a time, at least one manufacturer went down to a 1-year warranty. There was an absolute outcry over this, as it didn't reflect very well on that manufacturer's expections of reliability. Other manufacturers cashed in on this by making their warranties longer. At least one manufacturer now has a 5-year warranty.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Let the record show that today, I ALMOST sold an EPP.

ALMOST.

I was doing my furniture audit and I saw a woman taking all our barstool displays off the shelves and comparing them. She finally decided on one she thought she liked and said she wanted 4 of them.

I mentioned the EPP and some of its selling points, such as it covers cleaning or repair should those be needed, and she could cover all 4 barstools with one plan, which would have been an extra $9.99.

I had her going, but then she decided she could just spray Scotchgard or something on the seats.

And then I never heard a call for a carryout on them, so maybe she decided against buying the barstools in the end.

But at least I didn't get cut off right away.

[cinema guy]

Let the record show that today, I ALMOST sold an EPP.

They'll make a used car salesman out of you yet.