How to make the managers sad pandas

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

1. Start with 4 cases of Halloween big bags of candy priced at $5.99 each.
2. Chuck them onto a top shelf in the backroom.
3. Do not locate them.
4. Halloween comes and goes and all Halloween items are marked down to 90% off.
5. Including the 4 boxes of candy on a top shelf in the backroom gathering dust and not being requested and pulled, because they aren't located.
6. Thus nobody knows we have this candy. The scanner shows its quantities in on-hands, but since there are no backstock locations everyone assumes the candy is someplace on the sales floor.
7. Forward to weeks later when the stock monkeys are purging candy and grocery and the candy is discovered by one I.P. Freleigh.
8. IPF finds a spot to put the candy, after much re-arranging of clearance endstands, and makes price labels.
9. Managers receive nice, shiny new rectal orifices from corporate when they discover we are selling close to 100 $6 bags of candy for 60 cents each.
10. Managers begin chugging Maalox straight from the bottle, and IPF wonders who he needs to put in a coma coach about making sure anything placed in backstock gets located.

[Aethian]

*blinks* DAMN! And me with no way to get there and try and snag one or two...or quite a few of those bags.

[bainsidhe]

Stocking stuffers anyone? Err, I mean gee, that sounds aaawwfuuuulll.

[Becks]

And now I'm sad because I can't even afford 60 cent candy.

[bainsidhe]

Don't worry, EQ has cookies!

[RetailWorkhorse]

I have muffins. They have bacon in them.


What? I didn't say it was a SWEET muffin.

[PossJB]

Workhorse, everything is better with bacon. I'll try one of those muffins. Oh, and i believe they make maple flavored bacon if you'd like to try sweet muffins.

[JoitheArtist]

I'm wondering if something like this happened at my local CVS. I walked in today to see an end display full of Halloween candy, marked down by 90%!! Score for Joi! Got some autumn mix and candy corn for, literally, pennies. Mmmmmmm!

[Rapscallion]

Workhorse, everything is better with bacon.

Baconnaise.

Rapscallion

[Moggie]

Friend of mine just finshed making the bacon vodka. Shall I go swipe the keg for us then?

[Imogene]

Baconnaise.

*falls out of chair laughing at the disclaimer on the site* "Baconnaise is safe for vegetarians!"
How? Neither Bacon, nor mayonnaise are vegetarian friendly.

[Rapscallion]

Well, there are vegetarian bacon flavourings, and proper mayonnaise contains oil and egg, which aren't forbidden by the vegetarian diet (vegans don't eat egg). Not quite sure of the problem there.

Rapscallion

[Crosshair]

Even better. I'm helping my boss go through our back storage building and throwing stuff we don't need. Some of this equipment is NIB and completely obsolete. In the 1990's equipment was getting more reliable and becoming obsolete quicker. Meaning fewer replacements needed and equipment being replaced sooner. He showed me a telco card the size of a PC motherboard from the early 90's and said, "This was $4,000 and it has never been installed." He then chucked it in the dumpster. Kinda makes me wish I had a time machine.

So he missed the boat on a few things, but he is still in business 25 years later and going strong, so he must be doing something right.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

How to make the store manager an angry dragon

And not that angry dragon.

• Get in a bunch of apparel clearance from the new store that opened this spring. We don't need or want the clearance, but corporate ordered it transferred to us so we had no choice but to take it.
• Put it all in blue repack totes
• Pile the blue repack totes on a pallet
• Push the pallet into a corner of the stockroom and forget about it
• Some time later, store manager walks off the backroom and finds the pallet gathering dust
• Store manager asks us what's on the pallet. We identify it as apparel clearance
• Store manager gets red in the face, excuses himself, and pages the apparel manager to his office
• ???????
• PROFIT