12 Days of My Office

[JoitheArtist]

On the first day of Christmas, my office gave to me…a deadline that’ll kill me!

On the second day of Christmas, my office gave to me: two brand new ulcers, and a deadline that’ll kill me!

On the third day of Christmas, my office gave to me: three muttered swears, two brand new ulcers, and a deadline that’ll kill me!

On the fourth day of Christmas, my office gave to me: Four ringing phones, three muttered swears, two brand new ulcers, and a deadline that’ll kill me!

On the fifth day of Christmas, my office gave to me: Five “warm fuzzies!” Four ringing phones, three muttered swears, two brand new ulcers, and a deadline that’ll kill me!

On the sixth day of Christmas, my office gave to me: Six changes pending, five “warm fuzzies!”, four ringing phones, three muttered swears, two brand new ulcers, and a deadline that’ll kill me!

On the seventh day of Christmas, my office gave to me: Seven rants from _____, six changes pending, five “warm fuzzies!”, four ringing phones, three muttered swears, two brand new ulcers, and a deadline that’ll kill me!

On the eighth day of Christmas, my office gave to me: Eight EBRs, seven rants from ____, six changes pending, five “warm fuzzies!”, four ringing phones, three muttered swears, two brand new ulcers, and a deadline that’ll kill me!

On the ninth day of Christmas, my office gave to me: Nine boring contests, eight EBRs, seven rants from ____, six changes pending, five “warm fuzzies!”, four ringing phones, three muttered swears, two brand new ulcers, and a deadline that’ll kill me!

On the tenth day of Christmas, my office gave to me: Ten “where’s the art”s, nine boring contests, eight EBRs, seven rants from ____, six changes pending, five “warm fuzzies!”, four ringing phones, three muttered swears, two brand new ulcers, and a deadline that’ll kill me!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my office gave to me: Eleven sick co-workers, ten “where’s the art”s, nine boring contests, eight EBRs, seven rants from ____, six changes pending, five “warm fuzzies!”, four ringing phones, three muttered swears, two brand new ulcers, and a deadline that’ll kill me!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my office gave to me: Twelve dirty dishes, eleven sick co-workers, ten “where’s the art”s, nine boring contests, eight EBRs, seven rants from _____, six changes pending, five “warm fuzzies!”, four ringing phones, three muttered swears, two brand new ulcers, and a deadline that’ll kill me!


(and yes, my coworkers found this hilarious. )

[Iris Kojiro]

Funny post, but there are only five warm fuzzies. I'm sorry, but your post doesn't have enough warm fuzzies...

*giggle/snort*

*runs*

In all seriousness, I laughed. ^_^ Hopefully the rest of this month isn't too chaotic for you, as it can be at this stage of the year.

[BethB]

Awesome!!!

[Jester]

I like this, and I am going to give it a try myself.

On the first day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, one major asshole without ID.

On the second day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, two flashing grandmas and one major asshole without ID.

On the third day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, three sailors on leave, two flashing grandmas and one major asshole who wouldn't show ID.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, four clueless tourists, three sailors on leave, two flashing grandmas and one major asshole without ID.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, five....screaming.....kiiiidss.....four clueless tourists, three sailors on leave, two flashing grandmas and one major asshole without ID.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, six body-painted hotties , five....screaming.....kiiiidss.....four clueless tourists, three sailors on leave, two flashing grandmas and one major asshole with a bad fake ID.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, seven faaaabulous drag queens, six body-painted hotties , five....screaming.....kiiiidss.....four clueless tourists, three sailors on leave, two flashing grandmas and one major asshole without ID.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, eight homeless Santas, seven faaaabulous drag queens, six body-painted hotties , five....screaming.....kiiiidss.....four clueless tourists, three sailors on leave, two flashing grandmas and one underaged asshole who claimed to have lost his ID.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, nine bodacious bachelorettes, eight homeless Santas, seven faaaabulous drag queens, six body-painted hotties , five....screaming.....kiiiidss.....four clueless tourists, three sailors on leave, two flashing grandmas and one major asshole without ID.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, ten naughty swingers, nine bodacious bachelorettes, eight homeless Santas, seven faaaabulous drag queens, six body-painted hotties , five....screaming.....kiiiidss.....four clueless tourists, three sailors on leave, two flashing grandmas and one major asshole without ID.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, eleven rum-swilling pirates, ten naughty swingers, nine bodacious bachelorettes, eight homeless Santas, seven faaaabulous drag queens, six body-painted hotties , five....screaming.....kiiiidss.....four clueless tourists, three sailors on leave, two flashing grandmas and one major asshole who asked, "Why do you need to see my ID?"

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Key West bar gave to me, twelve thousand drunken revelers, eleven rum-swilling pirates, ten naughty swingers, nine bodacious bachelorettes, eight homeless Santas, seven faaaabulous drag queens, six body-painted hotties , five....screaming.....kiiiidss.....four clueless tourists, three sailors on leave, two flashing grandmas and--OF COURSE!--one.....major asshole....who naturally could not produce....anyyythiiiiing.....resembling.....a valid......I.....D......

[JoitheArtist]

Funny post, but there are only five warm fuzzies. I'm sorry, but your post doesn't have enough warm fuzzies...

I only have one answer to that.... punk.

In all seriousness, I laughed. ^_^ Hopefully the rest of this month isn't too chaotic for you, as it can be at this stage of the year.

yeah...my supervisor liked it so much, she pinned it up on her wall; the other officemates were almost crying with laughter as they sang it. And things will be better soon, we're just at the end of an intense website redesign, followed by a rush to do our next newsletter.

[JoitheArtist]

eleven rum-swilling pirates....two flashing grandmas

in my world, these are often the same people....

heckuva funny song though!

[Jester]

Joi, first of all, the scary thing is, that song is a scarily true representation of Key West.

Secondly, I updated the song a bit, with appropriate pictures. Thought that would add to it.

Yes, I have far too much free time on my hands tonight.

Hmmmm....time for a beer, it seems!

[Chromatix]

Not all of the pictures work, Jester.

And there are in fact 40 warm fuzzies, because they appear in eight lines of the song. If they were moved to the next line or the one after it, there would be 42, which is the maximum possible.

[JoitheArtist]

Joi, first of all, the scary thing is, that song is a scarily true representation of Key West.

Oh, I have no doubts about that!

[Iris Kojiro]

I only have one answer to that.... punk.

*gets salmon-smacked, takes 15 HP damage and is stunned for two rounds*

Sounds like you'll be busy in the meantime, though. There's nothing major going on at either of my places of employment, just the usual Christmas rushes and all that. The redesign sounds like a huge undertaking in and of itself, and I've read some of your posts in regards to your newsletter (and your CEO's prioritization skills ).

Here's hoping the new look brings in lots more people and rings in a successful 2009 and beyond. *toasts*

...

[Jester]

Not all of the pictures work, Jester.

Muddafudderratchingbamation!

Okay, so I checked all of them. Day Four and Day Eleven were not working, so I fixed them....all should work now.

The emphasis is on the word "should."

[Imogene]

five....screaming.....kiiiidss.....

seven faaaabulous drag queens

twelve thousand drunken revelers

But... there are 6 people in that pic!

Is that...? It is! RuPaul! Hurray! I lubs her!

11,998; 11,999; 12,000...; 12,001... Oops.

[PossJB]

Make a note: warm fuzzies are delicious.

[Jester]

But... there are 6 people in that pic!

Yep. And only five of them kids.

Point, set, and match to Jester!

(By the way, the picture for 12,000 is very appropriate to the song, as that is from Key West on New Year's Eve!)

[saint]

Lets see if I can do this. I work as a caregiver in a nursing home.


On the first day of Christmas my job gave to me, 1 new med order.

On the second day of Christmas my job gave to me, 2 new residents and 1 new med order.

On the third day of Christmas my job gave to me, three bed changes, 2 new residents, and 1 new med order

On the fourth day of Christmas my job have to me, 4 incompetent EMTs, 3 bed changes 2 new residents, and 1 new med order.

On the fifth day of Christmas my job gave to me, 5 exclamations of "aw, fuck! I got resident piss on my scrubs!" 4 incompetent EMTs, 3 bed changes, 2 new residents, and 1 new med change.

On the sixth day of Chistmas my job gave to me, 6 residents trying to hit me, 5 exclamations of "aw, fuck! I got resident piss on my scrubs!" 4 incompetent EMTs, 3 bed changes, 2 new residents, and 1 new med change.

On the 7th day of Christmas my job gave to me, 7 new tasks that need to be done every night, 6 residents trying to hit me, 5 exclamations of "aw, fuck! I got resident piss on my scrubs!" 4 incompetent EMTs, 3 bed changes, 2 new residents, and 1 new med change

On the 8th day of Christmas my job gave to me 8 requests for me to work extra days, 7 new tasks that need to be done every night, 6 residents trying to hit me, 5 exclamations of "aw, fuck! I got resident piss on my scrubs!" 4 incompetent EMTs, 3 bed changes, 2 new residents, and 1 new med change.

on the 9th day of Christmas my job gave to me, 9 poopy diapers, 8 requests for me to work extra days, 7 new tasks that need to be done every night, 6 residents trying to hit me, 5 exclamations of "aw, fuck! I got resident piss on my scrubs!" 4 incompetent EMTs, 3 bed changes, 2 new residents, and 1 new med change.

On the 10th day of Christmas my job gave to me, 10 puddles of urine on the floor, 9 poopy diapers, 8 requests for me to work extra days, 7 new tasks that need to be done every night, 6 residents trying to hit me, 5 exclamations of "aw, fuck! I got resident piss on my scrubs!" 4 incompetent EMTs, 3 bed changes, 2 new residents, and 1 new med change.

On the 11th day of Christmas my job gave to me 11 diaper rashes, 10 puddles of urine on the floor, 9 poopy diapers, 8 requests for me to work extra days, 7 new tasks that need to be done every night, 6 residents trying to hit me, 5 exclamations of "aw, fuck! I got resident piss on my scrubs!" 4 incompetent EMTs, 3 bed changes, 2 new residents, and 1 new med change.

On the 12th day of Christmas my job gave to me 12 hugs and "I love you"s and "thank you"s from residents, 11 diaper rashes, 10 puddles of urine on the floor, 9 poopy diapers, 8 requests for me to work extra days, 7 new tasks that need to be done every night, 6 residents trying to hit me, 5 exclamations of "aw, fuck! I got resident piss on my scrubs!" 4 incompetent EMTs, 3 bed changes, 2 new residents, and 1 new med change.

Merry Christmas CS!