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I was in the Infantry, specifically an 0351 - Anti Tank Assaultman (Tank Blower-upper
) and the Battalion went on maneuvers. I uh.. kinda SCARED the LT with my *ahem* enthusiasm when I found out there was to be a LIVE-FIRE exercise.. I got shipped so far into the Jungle we were an hours drive from OKINAWAN civilization!!
Camp Gonsalves, Jungle Warfare training center. They had a billet for a full base, but only two buildings and one of them was the GARAGE!! I was supposed to be an assistant instructor for when the troops came up to train. They'd do things like Rappelling, Line riding, Rock climbing, high explosive and improvised traps.
Yeah.. Rambo schtuff!!
I was ticked over missing the live fire (It's not often I got to shoot the $2000 a missile rocket.. DAMMIT!!) but this was pretty damn cool! With every thing in the Military.. There was a BUT!!!
But...
I had to pull my weight on Mess (kitchen) duty for two weeks until it was my turn to rotate in. Two weeks turned into a full month when my replacement got drunk and smashed his fist into the Gunnery Sargent's face. They took him away in handcuffs
Since I was on MESS(y) duty for so long, our mascots woke up and their cage needed cleaning. oh.. didn't mention that.. did I??
HABU SNAKES!!
Hemo toxic poisonous. Which means it attacks your blood, not paralyzes you. Which means that even a small dose of venom is likely fatal, because of the time it would take to get you to a hospital for an anti-venom and transfusion.
Have I mentioned I don't like snakes??
I'm not suffering from a phobia of them. I don't break out in sweats at the mention of them... but I REAAAAAAAALY don't like the idea of something with fangs and poison being close to me! Hate Spiders too!
They hand me a stick with a LOOP OF TWINE on it, and say that it's all I'll need to control them. K... Thanks.. REALLY Apparently the plastic bucket they gave me is too slick for them to get purchase and climb out. So they say... It's SO much of a great deal and safe that no-one sticks around to help me do anything.
GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAT...
I get the first snake out. Putting the rope around him, easy. Getting him into the bucket... not so easy.. He don LIKE this situation, and lets me know with a hiss and a snap. HELLS NO!!! Into the bucket with you!
AH..
It seems it's been a while since the snakes were active. They'd gone dormant for the winter, shedded and GROWN since the last guy cleaned the cage. It was now big enough to prop up ON ITSELF and get out of the bucket.. EASILY!!
Full panic mode!!!
I whack the thing with the front of the stick, it rears back. I try and get it with the loop, but it's p
off and ready for that. It dodges and goes after my leg...
Which was no NOWHERE NEAR striking distance.
Crazeyal had BEAT FEET!!!
I looked for the Corporal who had assigned me the duty, no soap. The Gunnery Sargent? Nope.. Hell... I WAS ALONE!! I couldn't leave this venomous snake roaming free. If it got out of the corridor (the cage was in a vestibule with double doors on front and back of it, but it was hardly made to contain snakes) and hurt someone I could be charged with MURDER!! (military JUSTICE.. ? Shyah right..)
I went back, trembling all the way, and after three failed attempts (and one near miss of a strike at me!!) I got the loop around it's head. Problem was, I STILL had to clean the cage, AND get the other two snakes out!! Grabbing the snake was one thing.. but I had to keep it inside the bucket, WHILE I was getting the other two, smaller snakes.
So... I hatch a plan. I spy the mop bucket a few feet away. Holding the rig in one hand, I kick/slide the snake bucket over to the mop bucket and turn on the water. Apparently the snake didn't like the sound of water, because it FREAKED! It then took advantage of my holding the twine and stick on one hand AND STARTED SLIPPING THROUGH THE LOOP!!
I quickly got my other hand BACK on the twine and pulled for all I was worth! The.. snake didn't exactly like the feeling... It twisted from the pressure of the rope... the resulting motion freaked ME out even more.. and I pulled TIGHTERThe snake was revolving round and round, scales were flying off under the pressure of the twine's grip, but I simply was NOT going to let it escape and bite me. It was a wounded wild animal. I didn't see any blood, but I knew the damned thing was in pain, and I was causing it!!!
But I'd be damned if it was going to escape and bite me... I slacked up an infinitesimal amount on the twine, and it stopped spinning. In that instant, my survival instinct took over, and in one motion I flopped the snake into the bucket, kicked the thirty or so pounds of water-bucket up-wards and slammed it on top of the snake's temporary cage.
I sat there gasping for a moment, and adrenaline took over my actions once again. The younger snakes submitted to being moved without even much acknowledgement. I batted the older, aggressive snake away with the younger one. The damn thing had calmed down by then. I cleaned and changed the cage and changed the bedding in the cage and went to drink myself stupid.
The staff tried to get me in trouble over the way I did "the job"... I got LIVID
I walked straight passed the NCO yelling at me and raised my wrists at the CO of the base. "ARREST ME!!" I shouted at him. He looked at me like I had a third head. I looked him dead in the eye and said "You morons left me ALONE with a HEMOTOXIC MURDER MACHINE... I had NO TRAINING, NO CLUE AND NO BACKUP You think I've done something wrong?? Let's go!!
The Staff Sargent led me off, lectured me in how to speak to Officers and then asked me if I was going to USE that balled up fist I was holding. I lost it a little, because I wasn't AWARE I'd been standing there with my fists ready to fight. He handed me a beer, told me I'd NEVER have to clean the Habu cage again, and if I APOLOGIZED to the CO, things would be forgotten...
Boy.. the word "sorry" tasted damn bitter sometimes...
Years later I was attending a camping trip run by a group of LARPers. One of the attendees was former military. He told the story of having been stuck for a place to stay while doing underwater welding on a battleship. His handlers took him deep into the Jungle and there was this one snake they had for a pet that struck him odd. It had a pink ring around it's neck!!!
He asked "Is that natural??"
The staff member let out a petulant "NO!!!!" and refused to answer further...
Friggen snake is probably STILL THERE!!
) and the Battalion went on maneuvers. I uh.. kinda SCARED the LT with my *ahem* enthusiasm when I found out there was to be a LIVE-FIRE exercise.. I got shipped so far into the Jungle we were an hours drive from OKINAWAN civilization!!Camp Gonsalves, Jungle Warfare training center. They had a billet for a full base, but only two buildings and one of them was the GARAGE!! I was supposed to be an assistant instructor for when the troops came up to train. They'd do things like Rappelling, Line riding, Rock climbing, high explosive and improvised traps.
Yeah.. Rambo schtuff!!
I was ticked over missing the live fire (It's not often I got to shoot the $2000 a missile rocket.. DAMMIT!!) but this was pretty damn cool! With every thing in the Military.. There was a BUT!!!
But...
I had to pull my weight on Mess (kitchen) duty for two weeks until it was my turn to rotate in. Two weeks turned into a full month when my replacement got drunk and smashed his fist into the Gunnery Sargent's face. They took him away in handcuffs
Since I was on MESS(y) duty for so long, our mascots woke up and their cage needed cleaning. oh.. didn't mention that.. did I??
HABU SNAKES!!
Hemo toxic poisonous. Which means it attacks your blood, not paralyzes you. Which means that even a small dose of venom is likely fatal, because of the time it would take to get you to a hospital for an anti-venom and transfusion.
Have I mentioned I don't like snakes??
I'm not suffering from a phobia of them. I don't break out in sweats at the mention of them... but I REAAAAAAAALY don't like the idea of something with fangs and poison being close to me! Hate Spiders too!
They hand me a stick with a LOOP OF TWINE on it, and say that it's all I'll need to control them.
K... Thanks.. REALLY Apparently the plastic bucket they gave me is too slick for them to get purchase and climb out. So they say... It's SO much of a great deal and safe that no-one sticks around to help me do anything.GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAT...
I get the first snake out. Putting the rope around him, easy. Getting him into the bucket... not so easy.. He don LIKE this situation, and lets me know with a hiss and a snap. HELLS NO!!!
Into the bucket with you!AH..
It seems it's been a while since the snakes were active. They'd gone dormant for the winter, shedded and GROWN since the last guy cleaned the cage. It was now big enough to prop up ON ITSELF and get out of the bucket.. EASILY!!
Full panic mode!!!
I whack the thing with the front of the stick, it rears back. I try and get it with the loop, but it's p
off and ready for that. It dodges and goes after my leg...Which was no NOWHERE NEAR striking distance.
Crazeyal had BEAT FEET!!!
I looked for the Corporal who had assigned me the duty, no soap. The Gunnery Sargent? Nope.. Hell... I WAS ALONE!! I couldn't leave this venomous snake roaming free. If it got out of the corridor (the cage was in a vestibule with double doors on front and back of it, but it was hardly made to contain snakes) and hurt someone I could be charged with MURDER!! (military JUSTICE.. ? Shyah right..)
I went back, trembling all the way, and after three failed attempts (and one near miss of a strike at me!!) I got the loop around it's head. Problem was, I STILL had to clean the cage, AND get the other two snakes out!! Grabbing the snake was one thing.. but I had to keep it inside the bucket, WHILE I was getting the other two, smaller snakes.
So... I hatch a plan. I spy the mop bucket a few feet away. Holding the rig in one hand, I kick/slide the snake bucket over to the mop bucket and turn on the water. Apparently the snake didn't like the sound of water, because it FREAKED! It then took advantage of my holding the twine and stick on one hand AND STARTED SLIPPING THROUGH THE LOOP!!
I quickly got my other hand BACK on the twine and pulled for all I was worth! The.. snake didn't exactly like the feeling... It twisted from the pressure of the rope... the resulting motion freaked ME out even more.. and I pulled TIGHTERThe snake was revolving round and round, scales were flying off under the pressure of the twine's grip, but I simply was NOT going to let it escape and bite me. It was a wounded wild animal. I didn't see any blood, but I knew the damned thing was in pain, and I was causing it!!!
But I'd be damned if it was going to escape and bite me... I slacked up an infinitesimal amount on the twine, and it stopped spinning. In that instant, my survival instinct took over, and in one motion I flopped the snake into the bucket, kicked the thirty or so pounds of water-bucket up-wards and slammed it on top of the snake's temporary cage.
I sat there gasping for a moment, and adrenaline took over my actions once again. The younger snakes submitted to being moved without even much acknowledgement. I batted the older, aggressive snake away with the younger one. The damn thing had calmed down by then. I cleaned and changed the cage and changed the bedding in the cage and went to drink myself stupid.
The staff tried to get me in trouble over the way I did "the job"... I got LIVID
I walked straight passed the NCO yelling at me and raised my wrists at the CO of the base. "ARREST ME!!" I shouted at him. He looked at me like I had a third head. I looked him dead in the eye and said "You morons left me ALONE with a HEMOTOXIC MURDER MACHINE... I had NO TRAINING, NO CLUE AND NO BACKUP You think I've done something wrong?? Let's go!!
The Staff Sargent led me off, lectured me in how to speak to Officers and then asked me if I was going to USE that balled up fist I was holding. I lost it a little, because I wasn't AWARE I'd been standing there with my fists ready to fight. He handed me a beer, told me I'd NEVER have to clean the Habu cage again, and if I APOLOGIZED to the CO, things would be forgotten...
Boy.. the word "sorry" tasted damn bitter sometimes...
Years later I was attending a camping trip run by a group of LARPers. One of the attendees was former military. He told the story of having been stuck for a place to stay while doing underwater welding on a battleship. His handlers took him deep into the Jungle and there was this one snake they had for a pet that struck him odd. It had a pink ring around it's neck!!!
He asked "Is that natural??"
The staff member let out a petulant "NO!!!!" and refused to answer further...
Friggen snake is probably STILL THERE!!
*shrugs* I got to do the live-fire a year later and blew ups some schtuff REAAAAAAL good 
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