Crazy Naked Guy

[KayashaRose]

I'm not sure where to place this.. so i hope here is okay.

Last weekend we had a naked guy walking around the store. Only he wasn't streaking through like most of the streakers. He was just walking around even sat down at one of the tables in the dinning area and waited for the cops.

He left his clothes two blocks away and walked in the rain & cold into the store. Our gas attendant tried to warn us but he was in the store before we could get to him. "A" (my supervisor) told him to get out, and CNG (crazy naked guy) screamed at him and got on all fours for a moment before taking off in the store. I ran behind the fuel desk and called 911. While "A" followed the guy around the store. The CNG screamed at everyone, broke a wet floor sign in front of the supervisor, got up in the face and screamed at the other supervisor. He then calms down at walk around the store with "A" in tow warning customers away. I was stuck behind the counter on the phone with a very nice 911 operator on the line. My first time talking to 911 and checking out customers. After a couple minutes the CNG walked to the dinning area and sat down while we kept customers away from that side of the store. Police came and he went quietly with them.

All of CNG's violent moments (screaming, breaking wet floor sign, growling) he did right front of one of our security cameras. Day-shift and other cw's had a good laugh watching the tapes.

[JLRodgers]

Now why would he go and break things and such? A naked person is generally so harmless.

There's one thing I love about naked people -- if they're planning on robbing you, you've probably notice theh gun/knife long before they even pull it on you (especially if it's hidden).

[fireheart]

So um...did you need the tweezers?

[draggar]

At least you didn't have to worry about him trying to steal anything - where would he hide it?

There's one thing I love about naked people -- if they're planning on robbing you, you've probably notice theh gun/knife long before they even pull it on you (especially if it's hidden).

It would be painful if they did hide them....

[Talendor]

I guess that guy will be the butt of everyone's jokes.

[smileyeagle1021]

wait... a crazy naked guy and the hotel wasn't involved

miracles do happen (for some of us )

[Plaidman]

Sigh. Plaidman has been hemming and halling over if he should tell of his most hairpulling crazed customer he ever had.


Because it dealt with a dancing naked man and not real corn.

[Bella_Vixen]

You MUST tell us, Plaid.

I think...

[Kitten in the box]

At least you didn't have to worry about him trying to steal anything - where would he hide it?



It would be painful if they did hide them....

There is a way he could hide the item he was going to take but lets not go there

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

By any chance, was this man deaf and covered in grease?

[RetailWorkhorse]

Sigh. Plaidman has been hemming and halling over if he should tell of his most hairpulling crazed customer he ever had.


Because it dealt with a dancing naked man and not real corn.

SPILL MAN! *Rubs hands in glee because this time it WASN'T RW stripping naked just for kicks*

[Plaidman]

Alright. Its a crazy story that people don't belive me when I tell it. I have problems beliving it.

It started a few years ago. I was working grave, when a middle age man came into the store at 3 something am. Butt. Ass. Naked. Didn't drive, just walked in. After much stammering and trying to think of something, my first instinct being maybe he got jumped or maybe he was just that drunk or high.

"Duh. er ah... wha.. you ok man?!"

He just looked at me with a serious look on his face. "Yes. Where are the chips?"

"Yer NAKED man!!!" I nearly screamed.

"I just want some chips" He said. Again in a serious tone. Like this is the most common thing in the world.

I dumbfoundly pointed to them, and grabbed a phone. Calling 911.

During the brief time he was looking at it, and dispatch came up asking what the emergerncy was.

ME: "...I have no idea if this would be 911. I'm a clerk at Plaid Pantry, and I have a... man who came in naked...."

Dispatch: "....?? Does he appear to be hurt?"

ME: "No... he... just looking at the -"

Naked Man: GRAHHH!!!! AHHH!!!!! *grabbing a bunch of fritos and throwing them on the ground, and then proceeded to stomp on them.

ME: "DUDE WHAT THE F*** MAN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

Dispatch: "SIR!!! What is going on? What does the man look like?!"

ME: "He's tearing up my store now!"

DISPATCH: "What does he look like sir, African, Hispanic or White?"

ME: (My first thought being why did they say african first for some reason) "Uh... Male. 40s, balding, somewhat fat. Little body hair......"

Naked Man: STUPID RIP OFF STUPID SCREAM I HATE IT! THEY CHANGED IT!!! THAT AGAINST THE LAWW!!!!!

ME: "And now screaming...."

Dispatch: "Any clothing?"

ME: ".... yeah. Scraf, fur coat, purple trousers and bowling cap. NO He's naked!!!"

Dispatch: "Calm down sir.... We have a car coming"


So yeah, three cop cars come. They stand outside the door, where our chips can be seen, and kinda laugh at the man, who now is DANCING on my broken fritos. I'm talking freaking ballet with lots of jumping and twirling, and I don't recall if he was humming or singing, but he was doing on of the two.

They come in, one with a towel or blanket and the others with hands on the guns, and trying to suppress their laughter.

They talk to him, while one of the cops takes my report, wandering if we're going to press charges. I'm pretty sure we will since he destroyed so many chips.

One of the cops laugh loudly. I look over and so did my report taking cop.

COP: "So your mad at Frito... because they stopped using corn to make fritos.

NAKED man: Nodding. "Yes. I heard it on the news. I came down to check. The fritos don't taste like corn"


So they take him out. I get several requests to go to court, but they keep changing the date. Then I came in again for the fourth or fifth time like a year into it, and they told me he pleaded guilty, I didn't have to come down.

Plaid didn't even bother to sue him for the chips damaged.

[Bella_Vixen]

Plaid, I believe you.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Oi vay.

See??? That WASN'T me.

I believe ya.

[EmiOfBrie]

I believe ya...though I would admit that this is one of the only communities around that are capable of believing that story *heh* As you can see, some of us have LIVED the story!