Take Me To Your Orchards

[ShinyGreenApple]

. . . I want to work for this guy.

[Pairou]

Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha~

[cinema guy]

I read this just as I'm peeling an orange.

[Munkie]

i just about died laughing, reading this... i was nomming some home-made whole-wheat chocolate chip banana bread (in the bread machine no less!) and all i could think of was the "FUCK NO I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKY ALIEN MOTHERSHIP ORANGES. "

can I steal that for my sig?

[Cookiesaur]

Yeah, he thinks he's real clever too. He may not be the most professional person around all the time (although surprisingly the place runs like clockwork) but he will go to bat for you if need be. Won my loyalty, anyway. I'm still calling him Boss two years after working for him, even if he's more like a big brother than anything else. The sort of big brother whose practical jokes are likely to give you a heart attack.

And yes, you can put it in your sig if you really want. Not like his ego needs any more stroking.

[NightWatch]

The orange thing sounds like something I'd do. Right down to "having the lights off" too. I think you're off-base blaming outside substances for it.

You're Canadian though... So that explains everything. *runs away*

[Broomjockey]

You're Canadian though... So that explains everything. *runs away*

*growl* *chases, wielding a beaver pelt and week-old timbits*

[Becks]

*chases, wielding a beaver pelt and week-old timbits*

Where's the moose?

[Geek King]

Where's the moose?

He's riding it, of course. Bareback.

[NightWatch]

Hehe! We luv ya Broomy *makes sacrifice of hockey pucks to Master Canadian Mod-man*

[Becks]

He's riding it, of course. Bareback.

I'm so glad I am unable to spray pudding all over my computer.

[Kyree]

I'm so glad I am unable to spray pudding all over my computer.

Milk and cheerios just almost went onto mine

[Geek King]

I'm so glad I am unable to spray pudding all over my computer.

Milk and cheerios just almost went onto mine.

I almost killed my sister once by making her laugh while eating a Frosty. She snorted it out her nose, and could barely breathe when it got stuck. Apparently, the Frosy was a bit thick that day. And cold. I would have helped her, but I couldn't stop laughing at the odd noises she was making. She finally forgave me a few years later.


Fair warning.

[Sheldonrs]

I wouldn't have been worried so much about what they were doing with the oranges. I WOULD, however, be wondering where the BANANAS were!

[Alpha Strike]

.

For my first four weeks as a supervisor, he continually terrorised me with absolutely harrowing "forklift lessons" that he said all the supervisors were required to learn. These involved making me lift palettes of flatscreen TVs worth more than I make in a year, then standing back and yelling "BE CAREFUL WHAT ARE YOU DOING OH MY GOD ITS TIPPING ITS TIPPING OH JESUS YOU WILL BE SO FIRED" until I threatened to beat him to death with his own travel mug.

Having been a forklift driver many years ago, I laughed at the situation you described. THEN I remembered a few of my more harrowing experiences - including tipping my forklift and almost getting run over by another driver - and I can appreciate how that might have been a wee bit stressful.

Boss: "Hey, speaking off. What do you know about liquid flame?"

Just once I would like a normal conversation with someone. He and my husband are like bosom buddies now. I'm still not prepared to rule out drugs, although it does sound like something L would come up with.

Wow. Oranges as on-the-job exfoliators. Not even close to what I would have expected. Personally, I would be more worried about the liquid flame thing... The way you're describing this guy, there's no telling what he might be up to.