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  • Women and Men shoppers

    Hi Folks. Recieved this joke in my email. Thought you'd all like it:

    Did you ever wonder what a husband does while he is in a store waiting
    on his wife to shop? Check out the following letter.

    Dear Mrs. Harkins, Our store is considering banning your family from
    ever shopping with us again, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is
    a list of offenses over the past few months... all verified by our
    surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
    "'Code 3 in House wares!"..... and watched what happened.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

    6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. September 15: Set up a camping tent in the sporting goods department, and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the Bedding department.

    8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

    10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

    11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME!, PICK ME!"

    14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

    AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST
    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut he door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
    At the end of the day, customers are NOT always right.

  • #2
    That's great!
    Gun control is hitting your target; recycling is reloading your brass.
    "It's not our fault the Business School makes you buy those crappy Gateways!"
    "The queue is..."

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    • #3
      Quoth blaubent View Post
      13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME!, PICK ME!"

      I've done that one at Goodwill, in the middle of a shift. Scared the hell out of one of my friends.
      Unseen but seeing
      oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
      There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
      3rd shift needs love, too
      RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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      • #4
        Once, when I was working in Walmart, I took a bag of M&M's to Lay A Way. They were , and asked me why. I said "Well you know how much we make". And they started to
        Under The Moon Paranormal Research
        San Joaquin Valley Paranormal Research

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        • #5
          I have been told that I'm bad to shop with. A friend of mine once told me I shop like I'm on a commando raid. Just because I charged back up to him and said, "I have the package, let's get out of here. MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!"

          When dragged along with my sister to do Christmas shopping, I was heard to sing more, er, "entertaining" versions of the canned music. Personnal favorites included Wierd Al's "Yoda" and Tim Cavinaugh's <sp?> "Have her Cadaver" (to the tune of "Abracadabra"). My sister now lets me stay in the car and play video games.

          The only places I really "shop" are book stores and video game stores. Remember "Norm" from Cheers? That's me walking into EB games.
          The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
          "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
          Hoc spatio locantur.

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          • #6
            Some of those, especially numbers 1, 2, and 6 look fun. Heck, I've done 1 myself.
            Learn wisdom by the follies of others.

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            • #7
              I once walked thru a crowded store with a mate singing the Sir Robin song. But I consider that normal.
              People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
              My DeviantArt.

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              • #8
                I've done number 9 while on the clock!

                There's a security camera on the second floor of the backroom by the stairs, literally a few feet from my head. That's where I do the deed.
                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                • #9
                  Where is the woman part at?
                  Under The Moon Paranormal Research
                  San Joaquin Valley Paranormal Research

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