Telemarketer Fun

[SilverOrb]

Not sure where this goes, but I think maybe here.

So... I've been a very very bad Silver.

I get these telemarketers at work... And I've been doing things to torture them (and yes, it IS manager approved)

I do it to these *insert phone company name that leads with the color of the sun*

They call some of my accounts every. single. day.

And they are running a scam now. Fun.

I have...

Told them my name is Fernando. (Keeping in mind that I am a Caucasian GIRL with no accent other than PERHAPS a SLIGHT Southern one)

Told them that my name is Fifi.

Asked to talk to a manager then put them on hold to see how long they would stay there.

Told them that I'd "be right back" then again put them on hold to see how long they'd stay there.

Sung the "Do Your Ears Hang Low" song to them as soon as they said hi, then brightly told them to "Have a nice day"

I need new ideas!!!!

My Dad's suggestion was acting on the phone like the person that they asked for has died and starting to cry.

Any ideas? Or am I just too too much of a bad person?

[tropicsgoddess]

As a former telemarketer I have to say that I DO approve of torturing the annoying and scammy ones!

SO did this one bit: he acted like the number the telemarketers called was for a Chinese take-out/delivery restaurant and did it with a THICK Chinese accent.

If you're bilingual, act like you don't speak English. My parents did that to a group of JW's (even though they really can speak English...FYI my parents can speak Dutch and English fluently).

[SilverOrb]

I do speak a lil German.... Hmmmm. Wonder if I could learn a few words in Mandarin for this...

[dendawg]

Well, I can see the direction this thread is going.




No offense, but threads like this tend to go downhill pretty fast.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

I personally recommend impersonating another scammy telemarketer, worked for me!

Hello, would you like to take advantage of our 2 for 1 offer? get two (I don't remember whats) for the price of one! and a free (bathroom something?) for only three easy payments of (Euros... in VA)!

I'm pretty sure that I wasn't convincing or anything, but they stopped calling after that.

[Boggles]

The phone company XLN rings us at least 3 times a week every week despite being told not to over the phone and in writing.

Now when they ask for whomever deals with the telephone accounts the conversation tends to go like this:

Them: who deals with the telephone accout please?
Me: sorry but we don't have one
T: don't have what?
M: a phone
T: what are you on now?
Me: Ridcully's Communication Combobulator. When you say something an imp travels interdimensionally to tell me what you want. I don't really understand it myself but the young mr Stibbons tells me that hex knows what it's doing.
Them: <hangs up>

[Blue Dragon]

I've done this to telemarketer scammers before. When they would call I would let them go through their speech then I would tell them that the owner of this business would be quite interested in whatever they are offering because I am just robbing the place. I would then act like I broke in and I'm stealing everything I can while on the line with the scammer.

The best response I got was from some organization that said that they support various police departments and were asking for donations. The local news did expose them as scammers. That was fun.

[Rapscallion]

Well, I can see the direction this thread is going.

<SNIP>

No offense, but threads like this tend to go downhill pretty fast.

Bearing the above in mind, some rules of engagement.

Take note of the fact that quite a few CSers have or do work in the field, and they aren't necessarily there because they want to be - for many it's a case of keeping a roof over their heads.

Let's keep all the air horns and whistles out of it - we're not in the business of people in pain.

Nothing against people just doing their job - polite 'no' etc is more than adequate for such.

Let's hear it for the ones who phone three times a night despite requests to desist. Let's hear it for the scammers. Be fun in creativity, not sick.

On with your regularly scheduled thread.

Rapscallion

[Bandit]

Talk to one of the scammy ones long enough to get a call-back number.

When scammer B calls, transfer (or better yet, conference with your mic muted) to scammer A.

Lots of laughs if you can listen to both of them try to work their deal on the other.

B

[Andara Bledin]

For the person who has a company calling after being told not to: can you sue them for harassment?

I know that in the states, if a company continues to call you after being told to stop, you can take them to court and get money out of 'em, in addition to getting them fined.

I actually had to threated AT&T with that before they'd stop harassing me to get their long distance. Then they bought my local provider and I reiterated that I never wanted to hear from them by phone before I knew about the change. I still never wanted to hear from them, however. If they needed me for something, they could send me a letter.

Me: Ridcully's Communication Combobulator. When you say something an imp travels interdimensionally to tell me what you want. I don't really understand it myself but the young mr Stibbons tells me that hex knows what it's doing.

Heeee... Classic!

^-.-^

[BethB]

Well, I can see the direction this thread is going.




No offense, but threads like this tend to go downhill pretty fast.

Ooooooh! That is one ugly wreck! I have no ways to pick on telemarketers. I just get either recordings(while at work) or I ignore numbers at home(I loves me some caller ID)

[SilverOrb]

Let me just specify one thing.... I do not torture EVERY telemarketer.

There is ONE company that I KNOW is running a scam. The ones that take my refusal or direction not to call back don't bother me. But if you wanna try and scam my clients or get rude with me when I refuse to pass on your "great offer" then you are fair game.

[edible_hat]

Them: who deals with the telephone accout please?
Me: sorry but we don't have one
T: don't have what?
M: a phone
T: what are you on now?
Me: Ridcully's Communication Combobulator. When you say something an imp travels interdimensionally to tell me what you want. I don't really understand it myself but the young mr Stibbons tells me that hex knows what it's doing.
Them: <hangs up>

I tried that once, all I got was a confused silence from the telemarketer.

[PepperElf]

my personal take on this

if they're running a scam, torture away. as long as you're not physically injuring them then have fun with it.

the only things I recommend NOT doing are
1) air horns (physical injury)
2) use a little child voice and say you're home alone and your parents have been missing for a few days... i read on FML that someone did that and the caller hung up and called CPS.


ways to add to the fun...
learn how to do a muppet voice. be in character.

any kid show theme song should be good.

http://christmaschebacca.ytmnd.com/ for during the holidays

http://dagobah.biz/flash/annoy.swf This tune is annoying

http://zombo.com/ ...

[Jetfire]

There's an autodialer that keeps calling my home number and does its speil when you answer (ending in with a Press 1 to talk to an attendant). Sometimes when I'm home and get the call (most of the time it just clicks to Voice mail), I'll press one and play with the guy, hoping to waste his time at least. Once I asked who they were (since they didn't identify themselves) and they hung right up so I know they're scammers anyways.

Last time I had my headphones on when they called, so I pressed one headphone to the phone (at the normal listening volume; I don't blast music) and proceeded to repeat everything he said after a second or two while the radio continued playing in the foreground.