It's E-MAIL, not magic!!

[MystyGlyttyr]

It's not precisely one of anything so I figured it was general. I'm just currently pissed about all the e-mail phone calls I've gotten today.

1. But I just sent it!

Okay, maybe I'm a dunce, but when I send someone an e-mail, I DON'T expect it to be there instantly! Depending on how far it's going, it might take a few seconds, it might take a few minutes, but at no time have I suffered the delusion that the very instant I click the "send" button that the message was immediately there in the inbox it was being sent to.

But try telling that to some of the funeral homes I work with -_-

Funeral Home Lady: "Hey, this is Lady with Funeral Home, did you get the e-mailed picture on Jane Doe?"

Me: *can hear mouse clicking in background, checks* "No, we don't have it yet."
FHL: "But I JUST sent it!"
Me: "Well, we might need to wait a few minutes to let it get here."
FHL: *scoff* "So, what, do I need to call back?"
Me: *grrrr* "Yes. Yes, you do."

Naturally, the e-mail shows up about thirty seconds later, just like I knew it would.

2. But you should have it!

I have also never gotten the idea in my head that e-mail was infallable. Sometimes you typo an address. Sometimes the servers are wonky. Sometimes the junk mail filters get too excited. Sometimes, apparently, the e-mail troll just gobbles up an e-mail for no good reason I can figure out. That's why our smarter funeral homes call to verify that we've received their e-mails. The others...

Angry Wench: "Why didn't my John Smithee obit run today??"
Me: "I didn't get an obit for John Smithee."
AW: "But I sent it to you yesterday!"
Me: "Well, I'm sorry, ma'am, but I never received it."
AW: "I got a receipt saying it went through!"
Me: "Well, there's nothing I can do about that, ma'am, I didn't get it."
AW: "But you should have got it!"
Me: "I've looked in my inbox and all my junk mail folders and my trash can, I don't have it anywhere."
AW: "But I sent it!"

3. Jesus God it might eat me!!

But for all these, at least they have a basic concept of how an e-mail works and know it's not supposed to be painful. The ones that really irk me are some version of the following...

Terrified Guy: "Uhhh, I need to get a picture to you for this obit..."
Me: "All right, you can e-mail it to-,"
TG: "Could I just fax it?"
Me: "Umm...we only have a black and white fax, sir, but you can e-mail it..."
TG: "What if I just bring it by?"
Me: "Uh, you live in *town about 75 miles away*. Really, you can just e-mail-,"
TG: "I'll just bring it by!"

WTF? What the hell, man, did Eudora kill your father and rape your mother or what? I promise, if you try it, you'll like it a lot more than driving 150 miles for a 4 x 6!

Just, ughhhhhh. So much irritation!

[Becks]

Okay, maybe I'm a dunce, but when I send someone an e-mail, I DON'T expect it to be there instantly! Depending on how far it's going, it might take a few seconds, it might take a few minutes, but at no time have I suffered the delusion that the very instant I click the "send" button that the message was immediately there in the inbox it was being sent to.

I don't expect email to be instantaneous, either, but Yahoo has one of the longest sent/received ratios I've experienced.

[Buglady]

I'm still trying to convince my boss that he can't send email from his laptop. We haven't configured an address for it yet. But he keeps trying, because he's convinced the presence of Outlook on the machine MUST mean he can email from it. Oh, he also can't figure out how to connect to a wireless network so even if he *did* have an email address on that machine, it would more than likely not work anyway...

[lordlundar]

WTF? What the hell, man, did Eudora kill your father and rape your mother or what?

Nope! that would be Outlook's turf.

[Retail Associate]

3. Jesus God it might eat me!!

But for all these, at least they have a basic concept of how an e-mail works and know it's not supposed to be painful. The ones that really irk me are some version of the following...

Terrified Guy: "Uhhh, I need to get a picture to you for this obit..."
Me: "All right, you can e-mail it to-,"
TG: "Could I just fax it?"
Me: "Umm...we only have a black and white fax, sir, but you can e-mail it..."
TG: "What if I just bring it by?"
Me: "Uh, you live in *town about 75 miles away*. Really, you can just e-mail-,"
TG: "I'll just bring it by!"

WTF? What the hell, man, did Eudora kill your father and rape your mother or what? I promise, if you try it, you'll like it a lot more than driving 150 miles for a 4 x 6!

Just, ughhhhhh. So much irritation!

Maybe he refuses to use a computer. I have a sister-in-law who believes computers to be a tool of satan and has never touched one.

[Cia]

My Mom thinks that people can see her through their monitors when she's in chat rooms.

[JustADude]

Maybe he refuses to use a computer. I have a sister-in-law who believes computers to be a tool of satan and has never touched one.

Damn straight they are! Doesn't mean other people can't use 'em, though. Just because enemy soldiers use automatic weapons doesn't mean OUR troops have to use rocks and sticks.

Anyway... I once orderd some really cool stuff (still sitting next to my computer today) from a place that refused to accept email or phone orders, and insisted I had to fax the order in. I fumed for a while and then realised my computer could send a psuedo-fax to their machine. Most can recieve an incoming color fax as well. Might want to look into it if you feel pitty on the guy driving 75 miles for a dropoff.