I have never been more angry at work

[Knightmare]

A few weeks ago, there was an opening for paint department manager. I've been working in the paint department for almost 6 months now, and I put in my application. I need the hours and the benefits and the pay increase.
I didn't post anything because I didn't want to jinx myself.
So yesterday, I'm at work, talking to my associate (everyone in that department pretty much considers me the team lead, even though I have been there the shortest amount of time) when she mentions that they have chosen a manager.
I stop what I am doing and look at her. "Uhh.. what was that?"
"Yeah," she says. "They picked a new paint manager. It's Richard from [another] department."
"What?" I ask incredulously.
"Richard is our new manager."
"Are you serious?" I couldn't believe this.
"Yes. He's on for next week's schedule."
"When did this happen?"
"Monday," she said. "Why?"
"Because I didn't even get an interview!"

Yes. They shunned me. They snubbed me. Totally wrote me off, totally brushed me off. I don't even rate an interview at that company. They interviewed everyone else, even a lady from Michigan, but not me.

I almost walked out. I should have walked out. Fuck them. Let the high dollar manager close my department. Oh wait, he's too busy driving around in his $50,000 truck, moving into his million dollar lake house while I can't even afford to buy my daughter Christmas presents!

I am still pissed about it. I have never been treated like that, ever, at any company I have worked at. When I started working there, I thought that this was it. This was the place I was going to retire from. I've been trying to get into Lowe's for years, and I finally did... and they treat me like I'm nothing.

I can't just quit. I've been trying for months now to get a new job, something with more stable hours. Something full time. But I don't know what it wrong. I can't find anything. Especially this time of year. Heh.. they even gave me 40 hours this week; got 36 last week. Next week I get 35. Then I'm right back down to 20 hours. I can't do this anymore. I NEED to get a better job, but no other company is biting.

I am so stressed out. I can't pay bills. I can't buy food. I can't even afford a hair cut! I was thinking about this last night, and I realized that this is the lowest I have ever been in my life, not just career-wise, but my whole life. My personal life is shit. My professional life is shit. At least I have scraped by enough to make December's mortgage payment. Now if I can just keep the heat on.

I just realized that I don't even have anyone I can call to talk to this about, besides my parents.

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm whining. I am just beyond angry and hurt. I do not want to go back there and be used anymore.

BTW, I am not upset or angry at Richard in any way. He is a very cool guy, and of all the people that I was up against, I'm glad it was him. But when he comes on, I'll tell him "Welcome to paint. I'm giving my two weeks notice."

[Kiwi]

Oh knightmare that totally and completely blows!

Im sorry to hear your going through a low patch, and anything I could say would sound cliche and phoney. But here goes anyway.

Things will get better, one of the most important aspects of success is perserverance, most people give up, but its the fighters who make it in the end. Like you said, youve spent ages trying to get into the place your at now, take heart that you achieved goal one, now set a new goal.

Im sorry money is tight at christmas, but I can honestly tell you, as a child I would have given up all of my presents just to have a supportive and decent father whom I knew loved me and who had my best interests at heart. 10 years down the track plastic toys will have dissapeared and been forgotten, but the memories of stringing popcorn for the tree, making a snowman/sock puppets/playdough with dad will always stay with her.

I always (annoyingly) try and look on the bright side, turn this into an oppurtunity, spend christmas teaching your children about how important families and caring for each other is. That you dont have to spend dosh to make christmas great.

Then start the new year slamming people with your resumes, keep going, lkeep going, the longer your at your company, the more likely they are to increase your hours and senority. It sucks when your not even considered (I wasnt intereviewed for an entry level history job earlier this year) and it tore me up something awful. But a few months down the track I got a job in a gallery (my other major) and its the best job ive ever had (despite the low pay and not enough hours).

Basically what Im trying to say is chin up! Maybe try for a retail christmas staff job to bump up the pay even slightly for christmas. Good luck, and remember where here for you to rant anytime.

[Rapscallion]

That sucks majorly. However, two things occur to me.

First, it's far easier to find another job when you have one.

Second, with things having been as bad as you have posted, I suspect that once you're gone they'll start to realise that they need you.

Rapscallion

[Retail Associate]

Knightmare ~

I know exactly what you are going through as the same thing happened to me a few years ago. Please don't take the following as a sermon, it's just my experience and I wanted to share it with you.

This was in April of 2002. I had been with the company for nearly 5 years and had been completely passed up for a promotion, no interview, no nothing. I was so hurt and angry that I did give my two weeks notice...without having another job lined up.

At the end of the two weeks my friends bought me balloons and a 'Good Luck' card but management said nothing. I walked out the door and felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. But, I couldn't find another job. Couldn't even get an interview and after 4 months without work I finally landed an at-home job that paid fairly well but was very sporadic at best.

I wound up in so much financial difficulty that I ended up filing for bankruptcy in 2005. Now, since I couldn't find a job elsewhere, I'm back at the same company I walked away from over 4 years ago. Part-time. Back at the bottom of seniority and making over $2.00 less per hour than I was before.

I still have the at-home job which is not very steady and I do some computer related work for a little extra income. I still can barely make the mortgage, my car is uninsured because I don't have $300.00 just lying around to insure it. Whatever is left after my bills are paid is what I use to buy food. I'm almost always hungry and have lost so much weight that people think I'm anorexic (sp). There just is no money for anything extra so if something breaks down at the house, I just live with it.

I work an average of 40-50 hours a week plus many more hours at the computer and still can't make ends meet. And now, I have this stupid bankruptcy on my record. Looking back I wish I had just sucked it up and stayed put. I'd be working one full-time job, making more money per hour and not having to work two jobs and other odd jobs just to survive.

Try to hang in there at least until you find something else. I wish you all the best.

[MadMike]

Well, that's never happened to me, but I have a friend and former coworker that would know exactly how you feel.

I'll refer to him as "Chuck" in this story, because that's one of the names he goes by, although some people call him "Charles."

Chuck worked with me in the lumber department at the home improvements store. That's actually how we became friends. There were five of us originally: Bob the department manager, Chuck, my other friend whose name is Rich, myself, and James the Wonder Idiot, who I've posted about a few times.

Unsurprisingly, James didn't last long. Shortly after he was gone, Rich took a job somewhere else. Shortly after he left, I got offered the non-retail job I have now, and put in my two weeks. So that left Bob and Chuck.

Bob realized that with the department down to just two people, he might actually end up having to do some work, so he put in his notice shortly after I did. So that meant the lumber department would need a new department manager.

Now, Chuck knew his stuff. He had done manager-related duties before, and had even done some ordering, something I never learned how to do. So he would have been the logical choice. He even thought it would be him. But as someone else here once said, if it makes sense, it's not allowed.

During one of my final days, I saw one of the guys from the paint department in our area, and it looked like Bob was showing him how to do some of our stuff. Did they... no, they couldn't have done anything that ridiculous. Still, I had to ask, and Bob confirmed that yes, that guy from the paint department, who had zero knowledge about ours, was going to be the new department manager. I didn't really care myself, since I was going to be gone by the time he took over, but the first thing I thought was, "Chuck is going to be pissed!"

He was scheduled to come in later that day, and as soon as I saw him come in the door, I told him, "You're not gonna believe this..."

As I predicted, he was not happy at all. So unhappy, in fact, that he turned in his notice. Unfortunately, he was there long enough that he had to put up with the new manager, who was always trying to ask him how to do stuff. He simply refused, telling him, "You're the department manager, you figure it out. I don't know anything!"

About a year and a half later, the place went out of business. I had been driving past, and saw the big "going out of business" banner from the highway. He had seen it too, and called me to tell me. I think he and I went out drinking to celebrate.

[Becks]

Knightmare, I'm sorry to hear that. I know how you feel. I'll echo the opinon to stay until you get another job. You have to keep the money coming it. It'll all work out.

And on another note--

But as someone else here once said, if it makes sense, it's not allowed.

That's me!!!!!

[Lace Neil Singer]

I'm sorry to hear that; just hang in til you get a new job, then tell them to get stuffed.

But as someone else here once said, if it makes sense, it's not allowed.

I'll second that. In the garden centre I was manager of the pet unit... despite the fact that I was the only person in the damn pet unit! Where do these people keep their brain cells?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I am really sorry you are having such a hard time. I have been there, and it will get better.

I know it's hard, especially this time of year.

Have you considered temping? I did that for a while. The pay was not bad, and you are a bit more in control of things like hours and where you work. If you work a place that is happy with you, they will often hire you outright.

Also, something to think about is that this may very possibly be what gets you out of your rut. Maybe you could take some time to learn some new skills. This has worked for myself and my husband. He started out as a dishwasher. He's now a web developer. I started out as a low-paid, unskilled dropout, went through a series of shit jobs, and managed to hobby my way into a very cushy graphic design job.

Sometimes when we think we are at our lowest, we are really at a crossroads and this is the prodding at your back that pushes you forward. Do you have any skills (and I mean ANY skills...like I said, I "hobbied" my way into this job) you could sexy up on a resume?

[powerboy]

From my experances, I can honestly say, stick with the job, until you have another one. I quit my last job, which I was making $10 hr, 40 hrs a week. When I quit, I thought, I would get another job fast. Nope, unemployment didn't even help, even tho they lied, and said that I was going to get something. That lasted just about a year and a half. Now I am making shitty pay, and only a little bit of hours a week. I am trying to open up my own business, but I am waiting til after Christmas. Oh yeah, the reason that I quit my old job, was because, I never got employee of the month, only the ass kissers got it, with the exception of a few. Even tho, I new everything, in the whole warehouse, I never got a manager, like everyone and myself expected. I would go in for about 5 hours every Saturday, to help fill my line up, and never got told thank you or good job. I got put outside, and stayed out there, in the pouring rain, in the freezing cold, in the heat.

Damn unemployment, never helping people out, when they truly need it

[wagegoth]

Oh, Knightmare, I am so sorry to hear this.

Last year I was unemployed at Christmas. Left a job that was wearing me out physically and mentally after 2 1/2 years for another job offer that fell through. I did get unemployment, but it was half of what I was making. It was two months until I found another job.

We were lucky. My MIL helped out with a small loan, and my husband was getting larger than usual paychecks due to holiday pay. But it's something I never want to repeat. Happily, I landed a job after the New Year with one of the top firms, with better pay, better benefits and a much better atmosphere.

Unfortunately, I think you're depressed, and it's coming through when you're interviewing or even just applying. It's really hard, but you need to find something that will help you "up" your attitude. People pick up bad vibes and will reject you for no apparent reason.

My suggestions:

If there is anyone in your family or a friend who could give you a halfway decent haircut have them do it. Or go to a beauty school. You'll get a cut for a couple of dollars. Just make sure the instructor keeps an eye on the student. They will clean it up, it just may end up a bit short. You need to look good when you apply for a job.

Start meditating to relax. There is nothing you can do right now beyond what you are doing, so you need to learn to go with the flow. Pick up a little white votive candle for a few cents at a dollar store or Big Lots or other discount store. Take it home, light it, then focus on the flame. Don't stare, just contemplate. Now, take a deep breath, hold, release it slowly and deeply. Get all the air out that you can. Slowly breathe in, focusing on the candle. Release the air again completely. Now, consciously relax your body, as much as you can. If you feeling yourself tensing up again, start the breathing part over.

As to your mortgage, for now, make the payment as much as possible. Some companies, if you are having hard times, will let you put off a payment or two. That will give you breathing room.

I don't know your family situation, but most power companies will not shut off power if there are children in the home. You should also check with any charity organizations near you to see if you can get a small donation to carry you through. It's the holiday season and winter, so your odds are good.

Also, many charities don't ask a lot of questions of the people coming in for bags of food. I know it's painful to accept charity when you're used to taking care of yourself, but it's for people in need and, for now, you qualify.

Lots of companies are hiring seasonal employees. Apply everywhere. It will be extra hours, some extra money, and who knows what might happen after the holidays? This could be the starting base of your job search networking. Even if you don't end up working there permanently, you might meet someone who helps you get a job somewhere else. RK recommended temping, and a staffing place could also get you some seasonal and/or warehouse work.

Please don't fall into that black pit. I have chronic depression, and it's a fight many days for me to get through, but I'm not going to let some chemical imbalance screw up my life. I'm bigger than it, and so are you.

If you want some further suggestions or need to talk, you can send me a personal message.