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Blame Canada
So, if any of you live in Canada, don't read this. It's probably going to offend you somehow, and yet, I will always refrain from slurs...in fact I don't know any slurs for people from Toronto....so, if you know any, let me know for future reference.
Unbeknownst to any of us here at store #****** at my company, apparently, our internet store will not accept certain brands of Canadian credit cards. How dare we. Actually, as I will come to be instructed by a customer from Toronto, how dare I! For I, as a sales associate in a small town in Florida, am the "Keeper of the Policy." My "fellowship of the ka-ching" and I defend it with our very lives, warding off customers with sales and Service Plans, to keep them from invading it with returns....This is the story of one of our little traveler's adventures, one morning right as the store opened, at 8:00 am EST...
So, I'm eating my Egg McMuffin, and usually the mornings are a little slower, seeing as most people are heading to, or are already at, work. Well, apparently Canadians don't work the same hours (here we go with the stereotypes. They're all jokes, please keep in mind, I'm Irish-German, so I have my share.) and they also like to prey on helpless little Fellowship of the Ka-Ching members.
I have been hired as the newest "Keeper of the Policy", and that entails making money for, and representing, our higher interests. Well, our Gandalf, the manager, requests that I take all calls until 1. So I take my post....
Mr. Toronto calls in, sounding frankly, quite american. Anyways, he wants me to do something about our corporation's policy on his brand of credit card. I tell him we can't do anything. He complain's that we can. I continue to just tell him we cant do anything, phone transactions are just not allowed with our policy.
Something I've always wondered was if customers, and employees, speak different dialects? The reason I ask, is because I'm pretty sure everyone else around me understand what "No phone Trans.'s" means. Even the non-english speakers can figure it out. Do we lose something in translation over the US-Canada border maybe? Does the lithosphere or stratosphere, or whatever-sphere, interfere and make translate "No" into "Of course sir, we'll change an entire history of company policy just for one disgruntled customer.."????? I digress.
I refer him promptly to our customer service number, because I am neither trained or paid enough to deal with that. Also, I have customers waiting who actually want to not be buttmonkies, and make my life not such a hell. Holy padiddlesticks.
An hour later, this cheesenut calls back and speaks to my coworker, and asks her the EXACT SAME QUESTION. She of course, gives him the EXACT SAME, ahh hell, you get it. He then promptly says "I'm taking my business elsewhere, you just a sale."
We get 5% commission for the record. I wasn't gonna bust my cajones for 5% of such a small buy. In fact, my manager gave me his blessing to give the customer this prompt response to his previous statement: "Sir, we respectfully ask that you f*** off, as you have just wasted over a 100$ worth of business time in which we could be helping customers. Take your business somewhere else, where'll you get reciprocated for your attitude, and not get excellent customer service for being a complete f***nut."
Unbeknownst to any of us here at store #****** at my company, apparently, our internet store will not accept certain brands of Canadian credit cards. How dare we. Actually, as I will come to be instructed by a customer from Toronto, how dare I! For I, as a sales associate in a small town in Florida, am the "Keeper of the Policy." My "fellowship of the ka-ching" and I defend it with our very lives, warding off customers with sales and Service Plans, to keep them from invading it with returns....This is the story of one of our little traveler's adventures, one morning right as the store opened, at 8:00 am EST...
So, I'm eating my Egg McMuffin, and usually the mornings are a little slower, seeing as most people are heading to, or are already at, work. Well, apparently Canadians don't work the same hours (here we go with the stereotypes. They're all jokes, please keep in mind, I'm Irish-German, so I have my share.) and they also like to prey on helpless little Fellowship of the Ka-Ching members.
I have been hired as the newest "Keeper of the Policy", and that entails making money for, and representing, our higher interests. Well, our Gandalf, the manager, requests that I take all calls until 1. So I take my post....
Mr. Toronto calls in, sounding frankly, quite american. Anyways, he wants me to do something about our corporation's policy on his brand of credit card. I tell him we can't do anything. He complain's that we can. I continue to just tell him we cant do anything, phone transactions are just not allowed with our policy.
Something I've always wondered was if customers, and employees, speak different dialects? The reason I ask, is because I'm pretty sure everyone else around me understand what "No phone Trans.'s" means. Even the non-english speakers can figure it out. Do we lose something in translation over the US-Canada border maybe? Does the lithosphere or stratosphere, or whatever-sphere, interfere and make translate "No" into "Of course sir, we'll change an entire history of company policy just for one disgruntled customer.."????? I digress.
I refer him promptly to our customer service number, because I am neither trained or paid enough to deal with that. Also, I have customers waiting who actually want to not be buttmonkies, and make my life not such a hell. Holy padiddlesticks.
An hour later, this cheesenut calls back and speaks to my coworker, and asks her the EXACT SAME QUESTION. She of course, gives him the EXACT SAME, ahh hell, you get it. He then promptly says "I'm taking my business elsewhere, you just a sale."
We get 5% commission for the record. I wasn't gonna bust my cajones for 5% of such a small buy. In fact, my manager gave me his blessing to give the customer this prompt response to his previous statement: "Sir, we respectfully ask that you f*** off, as you have just wasted over a 100$ worth of business time in which we could be helping customers. Take your business somewhere else, where'll you get reciprocated for your attitude, and not get excellent customer service for being a complete f***nut."
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