Stupid job titles!

[BeeMused]

That's hilarious.

Our store newsletters come from "Grand Poobah, aka Big Daddy aka The Chief or Store Manger ---"

People actually refer to him as "Big Daddy" on the sales floor too.

I just call him "boss", he seems to like that.

As an April Fools prank someone made new job titles for everyone and exchanged all the name tags at the doors too! So we had - roughly translated from German

• Dildo and Cockring Wranglers (Warehouse crew)
• Pervy Dealers (Sales department)
• Queen of Pervertedness (Me)
• and more...

I never found out who did it, but we all had a good laugh.

[cinema guy]

That sounds like some more of that modern MBA newspeak. They aren't customers, they are guests. They aren't employees, they are team members or associates. They aren't managers or supervisors, they are team leaders or coordinators.

At the cinema we have: team members, team leaders and guests. Projectionists are 'technicians'.

[searssoulslave]

As an April Fools prank someone made new job titles for everyone and exchanged all the name tags at the doors too! So we had - roughly translated from German

• Dildo and Cockring Wranglers (Warehouse crew)
• Pervy Dealers (Sales department)
• Queen of Pervertedness (Me)
• and more...

I never found out who did it, but we all had a good laugh.

Do you sell adult novelty items or was he just being creative with your products?

[BeeMused]

Do you sell adult novelty items or was he just being creative with your products?

Yep, we sell those adult toys. Novelty items... one of those euphemisms that make me laugh.
The new job title stuck with the warehouse crew, much to their chagrin. So if it was one of them, who did it... pwned

[BrenDAnn]

I just realized the sign in our window advertises that we are now hiring "Part Time Team Members". Oy. You're a part of the team, but only part of the time!

[Whiskey]

(whenever they decide to cheaply engrave a badge) I'm a "Food Specialist."

I drop food in boiling oil and/or take your money so you'll go away.

[Pagan]

(whenever they decide to cheaply engrave a badge) I'm a "Food Specialist."

I drop food in boiling oil and/or take your money so you'll go away.

Hey, that's makes you special enough for me!

[casey13]

As basically a telemarketer calling alumni from a very large school, I was called something along the lines of "Student Assistant for Financial Funding" or something like that. It cracked me up as on all my later applications I put down Student Caller instead of the fancy title.

[Dreamstalker]

I'm browsing Craigslist for job postings and among the corporate-buzzword melange (WHY do companies love them so damn much?) I see these two titles:

Process Transformation Manager (huh?)
Customer Intelligence Manager (even mom saw the irony in that one)

My "job coach" thinks every job I ever held should have a fancy title.

[Magpie]

My "job coach" thinks every job I ever held should have a fancy title.

I was taught that you should re-name your jobs to something descriptive of what you did, and not horribly generic. Rather than "co-op student" (which I swear is the official job title for about 50% of co-op jobs) you can call yourself a "design office co-op" "Standards compliance co-op" etc.

[Dreamstalker]

I'm as descriptive as I can be without being flowery, but she thinks they're still too bland

[Magpie]

HR generally doesn't know a lot about technical fields. Take any advice you see for job hunting with several grains of salt if you're in a technical field. I have only ever seen ONE job-hunting guide that acknowledges the existence of the best kind of interview ever - the technical knowledge interview. I'm going to assume that a job coach is just as out of the loop.

[Dreamstalker]

Yup, she is. Zero knowledge of my field and the resume-writing software she uses is a nightmare.

[Mytical]

I am an 'Security Officer', but honestly I am just a receptionist that wears a guards uniform. Oh I am sorry, it's taboo to say 'guard' for some obscure reason. Guess Officer sounds more authoritative. Fancy titles were created to make the employees feel more special, and often miss the mark unfortunately.

[Dreamstalker]

A lot of the positions I held had no official titles, it's when the job coach tries to create some that it sounds pretentious, clunky and stupid.