THE breaking point, or just A breaking point?

[Antisocial_Worker]

At last, we have confirmation. I didn't get the job. I called today and actually got the manager only to be told, "I've hired all my staff."

And that was that. I'm trapped in this shitpit hotel until something better comes along. That may be days, weeks, months, or never. I have not yet reached the point that I cry at the thought of going to work, but I'm very close. People have told me to walk out, and I wish I could. I've honestly even considered going on unemployment or trying for disability, but I don't know that I could even if I tried.

[Antisocial_Worker]

Update!

Yesterday for no particular reason, I took a jaunt through hotjobs.com and came across a position as bookseller at a big bookstore in Asheville, so I applied. They want me to come in on Monday and drop off a resume.

Also, just a few minutes ago a dear friend of mine emailed me to tell me that she's working at a drug and alcohol treatment center, also in Asheville, and that she thought I'd be a good fit for a position there. She's encouraging me to come up and apply there too!

Two prospects... this is a nice feeling. I haven't had one option out of here in forever much less two.

[Sacknahalf05]

**Sends good vibes to HHNC**

Good luck to you on your two options there. As a smalltowner (Knoxville wut wut) I know what it's like to try to find a job. I've stuck with my call center job for over 4 1/2 years, not because there isn't something better out there, but the thought of looking for another job and starting all over again is enough to bring on a panic attack.

I hope things start looking up for you soon. Worse comes to worse, you could always jump over to this side of the mountains and give it a try :P

[Brighid45]

So glad to hear you have some options for other employment, HH! Sending out a big long distance *hug* to you and lots of wishes for good luck. You deserve a new and better job after all the nonsense you've put up with in that hell-tel.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Good Luck Haunted Head! I'm keeping my fingers crossed... (figuratively speaking, of course - it's hard to type with crossed fingers )

[Antisocial_Worker]

Okay, it's been a very long time here, but here's an update.

I've been corresponding with the rehab center where, as it turns out, two of my friends work. One of them is the daughter of the center's founder, actually. I went in for one interview, and impressed the HR person. I went in for another interview at their branch office where I'd actually be working, and impressed them enough so that they want to let me shadow another person who would be doing the job I'd do, so I can see if the job is for me, before they hire me. I also apparently gave off enough insecurity vibes to convince them to let me shadow another person...

This is the problem. The job I would be doing is Community Support, which means I work with crazy people and try to help them be less crazy. I wouldn't be working much with addiction as with these people, mainly because a large local mental healthcare provider recently imploded and dumped all their patients out onto organizations like this rehab center. They assure me though that I won't get the violent ones yet.

So, I would be helping people, and that's been one of the biggest complaints I've had with all the jobs I've had -- they don't do anything meaningful for anyone. I've always wanted a job with significance. However, now that I have the chance at that, my natural, inborn crippling insecurity is gnawing at me. Can I do this job? Do it right and you help people become functional again. Do it wrong and you damn them. I have suddenly become utterly convinced that I am incompetent.

At any rate, the job pays $3/hour more than this one, and it provides health insurance, so I'd be a fool not to take it. I just hope that I can get over my insecurity, or at the very least I hope I can hide it from the bosses there until I become marginally capable at it.

And now for something completely different. My immediate boss at that rehab center would be a 22-year-old woman who worked as a waitress while she put herself through college. She told me flat out that she would much rather work with the crazy people than with the general public. The crazy people are easier to deal with by far.

She was encouraging, as was another Community Support person who looked me over and announced, "You're going to love it here!" That, and the staff psychiatrist who apparently smelled blood on the water as I was standing there looking small and lost after the staff meeting they had me sit in on. She called me into her office for an encouraging chat.

So, we'll see. Monday's the big day. I'll spend the entire day figuring out if I have what it takes to wade hip deep into madness.

[Rapscallion]

The job I would be doing is Community Support, which means I work with crazy people and try to help them be less crazy.

So, it's retail, right?

Rapscallion

[Antisocial_Worker]

I keep bouncing back and forth between almost wishing it was something straightforward like retail, and being glad for the opportunity to do something of this nature.

[CurlyLocks]

Hauntedhead, I hope this new opportunity works out for you.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Well, obviously they think you're qualified, and it seems they sort of expect a little insecurity on your part (it's only human). It's good they want you to observe the job before hiring you; gives you both a chance to decide if you are a good fit before getting too entrenched. I wish you luck and I hope it works out for you (and $3 more/hr. and benefits are BIG!)

[Antisocial_Worker]

Thanks everyone. Monday's the big day, so I'll be sure to report that evening about how it went.

[Jester]

How exactly does one steal a luggage cart or a TV without being noticed anyway?

Forget HOW. I want to know WHY?!?! What the hell do they need that thing for?

Actually, don't forget how. I know how they would get one out of the hotel. But where do they put it that it isn't obvious? So, how does one get away with a hulking luggage cart without anyone noticing it sticking out of their trunk/pickup truck/sunroof?

I turned 30 last June...

Another June kid! Cool! When? I am June 8, myself. (GO GEMINIS!)

I can't believe that I've honestly considered looking into collecting unemployment.

A quick note for anyone considering quitting their hellish job and collecting unemployment: as far as I know, in virtually every State (can't comment on other countries), if you QUIT a job, you cannot collect unemployment. You can only collect it if you are fired, laid off, or the place closes. In other words, if you lost your job due to circumstances beyond your control.


Now, on to Haunted's current situation......

HH, yes, you are insecure and not convinced that you can do the job you are about to get. You have beaten yourself up with how incompetent you are going to be, and how you are going to damn lives.

*smack smack smack* Snap out of it man!

Okay, sorry, couldn't resist. Seriously, that is totally normal. Any time you are starting something new, you are going to be nervous. Every new job I have ever had I was nervous the first day. And that is RESTAURANT jobs, which I can generally do with my hands tied behind my back, my eyes blindfolded, and my brain asleep!

Now, the first day I was scheduled to do magic professionally at the restaurant I used to perform at, I was a complete wreck. No one KNEW it (and many were surprised to find out after the fact), but I was scared shitless. Honestly...I had no shit. Anywhere. My shit supply was tapped out.

But I went through the shift, impressed people, both customers and management, and held that gig for four years after that day (until the evil GM came along and ended that lovely local tradition).

Now, let's get you focused on your reflection, my friend. You are convinced you are going to fall flat on your face. However, you WANT to help people, and this is a job where you can do just that. These people BELIEVE you can be an asset to their establishment, and I am guessing they know what they are talking about. One does not receive a leadership position at 22 without knowing what they are doing, after all. Down deep, you KNOW you can do this job, but you FEAR somehow you are going to muck it up. You'll do fine. You'll do so fine, I fear you may not have many SC stories to regale us with. And you will escape that dreaded hotel you have come to so loathe. But this job is not just an escape, it really is a step up, as it is a job you want to do, a job with better pay, and a job with benefits. In other words, if you are offered this job and you don't take it, I'll come up there and kick your ass myself.

Good luck tomorrow, and I'll be drinking a beer for you, pal!

(Amazing that some people actually think I am wasting my time waiting tables, huh?)

[LabCat]

Good Luck Huanted Head!!!

You can do it!!!! Can't wait to see the update!

PS: I love your avatar. I'm history dork!

[protege]

Another June kid! Cool! When? I am June 8, myself. (GO GEMINIS!)

Hehe I turn 31 on the 9th

Hang in there, Haunted! We're all sure you'll kick ass at the new job! Don't beat yourself up, OK?

[Antisocial_Worker]

Alrighty. I went in at 9:30 this morning and spent the day following another Community Support (CS!) person around as she visited her clients in their homes. She explained how easy it is for a CS person to put more than 1,000 miles on their car over the course of a month, and I saw that in action. First we went to the county southeast of this one, and spent quite a bit of time with a man whose bad situation is about to get exponentially worse, and I'm not sure how much more I can say without breaching confidentiality, so I'll leave it at that. Next up was a trip to the county north of this one to visit another client, then a trip back to town here, then another trip here in town to visit the final client of the day, who was the most intense of them all.

I think with enough training, I'll be able to do this job. My employment there isn't a foregone conclusion however, because nobody said "when" when talking about hiring me. It was always "if." I'm supposed to hear back from them tomorrow about it. I believe they'll be scheduling another interview. Perhaps a question and answer deal about how it went and what my thoughts were, what I'd do in the same situation and so on. I worry about one thing. After 7 and a half hours on the road and in clients' houses, we returned to the office, where the CS person ran off to talk to the director, because she was going to need him when she made a return visit to the last client. The lady who would be my boss chatted with me for a moment, then asked if the CS lady was done with me. I thought she was, and said so, and as the boss was leaving, I followed her out and went home myself. It didn't occur to me until I was home that I hadn't actually asked the CS person if she really was done with me. For all effects and purposes, I let myself out on an assumption. I really hope that doesn't affect anything.