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"Get a syringe full of vitamin C and squirt it up your **** then"
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"We will have to hide under the desk and see what we can make happen"Customer "why did you answer the phone if you can't help me?"Comment
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"Dora the Explorer is a slut. She's like ten and she already has two kids."Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost dailyComment
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...I fed him bubonic plague symptoms for a while too. Successfully might I add.
...When it really got fun is when I started singing "Ring Around the Posie" to him.Coworker: Distro of choice?
Me: Gentoo.
Coworker: Ahh. A Masochist. I thought so.Comment
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"then theres naked pictures all over the sidewalk"Comment
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"It just seems wrong to be looking for sexy women on the internet. EWWWW!"
"So, how does a gay man tell if a woman is sexy? Do you need my help?"
"Nah, I'm good."Coworker: Distro of choice?
Me: Gentoo.
Coworker: Ahh. A Masochist. I thought so.Comment
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"So there I was licking this giant candy penis when my wife and kids walk in."
"So what did you say?"
"Honey, kids, there's something I need to tell y'all..."
"Dammit! I just got this stupid sheep to let me play with it, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!?!"
"I think I would wish for a penis...."
"!"
"I meant girlfriend! Oh god what the hell did I just say?!?!Comment
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"Nary a sauce bottle passes without my steely gaze..."
RapscallionComment
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Level 3 Tech: Ha. Famous sysadmin plan: wait long enough and hope the issue goes away.
SysAdmin: Sssh. You'll blow our cover.Coworker: Distro of choice?
Me: Gentoo.
Coworker: Ahh. A Masochist. I thought so.Comment
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How dare you doubt my firmness. Touch it! TOUCH IT!!I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!
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"Don't take my sanitary towels while I'm gone."
RapscallionComment
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Are sanitary towels the same product that we refer to as sanitary napkins here?Quoth Rapscallion View PostComment
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Just so you know *manager* I'mflipping you off in my mind.Comment
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"...and that's why I'm not allowed back in the casino"
"He said the pen wasn't mightier than the sword so I stabbed him with a pen.""F*ck the begrudgers" - Billy Connolly
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