Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[BrenDAnn]

"I need a long, red one, young lady."
"If you won the lottery on Saturday, what would you do with the ticket until Monday? What? I mean, banks aren't open, so you can't put it in a safe deposit box. One guy told me he'd tape it to his chest. I told him he'd get all excited and take a shower with it still taped to him!"

[Quillsilver]

"Lettuce is your friend. It fills your taco."

Also:

"OMG, woman, there is just no satisfying you!"

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"Would you sit on Santa's lap wearing an adult diaper?"

[cashierbex]

Coworker- If you were peanut butter, you would be "Creamy, crunchy, or mixed with jelly"
Coworker 2- I would be creamy
Manager- as long as its not crunchy

[Rapscallion]

"The drivers think the truck loaders are morons, the loaders think the order pickers are morons, the pickers think the order takers are morons, the order takers think the account managers are morons, the account managers think the reps are morons, and the reps think the customers are morons. It all falls into place when you realise they are all correct."

Rapscallion

[crazylegs]

Do you want to ride my unicorn?

[dragon_wings]

You don't realize how easy I am.

[BrenDAnn]

Oh look! It's squishy!

[Sakka]

Hrm. ... My alcohol isn't working.

[crazylegs]

If it's too much, spit it out or swallow it.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"It smells like blackberry jam and ass up here."

[Ghel]

"It's always a fun day when I have to break out the hammer."

[crazylegs]

Clitoris!

CL

[Simbacat]

It helps if you use the scanner that is hooked up to your register, and not the one that is hooked up to the inoperable register. Just a tip.

[CloserToSane]

It's like I'm kidnapping you