Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[DarthRetard]

Pfsh, Didn't You know I was half gay?

[Spiffy McMoron]

"Oooh, I wouldn't kick HER out of bed for fartin'"

[AFpheonix]

"So did you puke on the wedding cake?"

[blas]

"Don't start with me on my moodiness. I'm an Aquarius, ruled by the planet Uranus. I'm entitled to feel like shit half of the time."

[Sofar]

"I like how it shapes my fatness."

[draftermatt]

"With this job it's like wer'e all in a big circle jerking off, and you and I always finish before they do"

[reformedwaitress]

"Would you be a dear and go in the bathroom and get me some sugar? And maybe some cream?"

[Tithera]

"Whoever cleaned the bathroom did a shitty job."

"If the dishwasher is running, is it ok to open it?"

"I am a waitress dammit, I should win a frickin oscar for the acting I have done!"

"If the floor is wet, and there's no snow or rain on the ground, then what the hell is it." *looks up at door labeled bathroom before puddle* *blinks and walks away*

"What the hell is that noise?"

"Why isn't the sign flipped to open?"
"Because I haven't done it yet."
"Why not?"
"becuase the windows are so dirty, I don't think it's neccesary."

[SuperDan]

"Guess who didn't show up again today."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Shows up for his first shift and disappears. I guess it's time to play the [name of store] theme song--Another One Bites the Dust."
"Ah well, better luck next week."

[Rapscallion]

"I believe I perpetrated the stinkiest meeting ever."

Rapscallion

[Tithera]

"Dude, you have to hide me. God is after me with an electric bread cutter and I don't think he's looking to cut bread."

[Discourtesy Clerk]

Today was lively.

"It looks like it's just been scraped up off First Street!"

"Comes with free salmonella!"

"Tomorrow is Sports Day, so that means you have to come in with a 49ers jersey, pom-poms, and a helmet for when you go push carts."

"It's like I'm invisible. They never hear me."

"And when you get the electric chair, that means you're REALLY in trouble!"

[Tithera]

"Did the pie in the fridge dissappear or disenigrate?"
"I think mark ate it."
"Alright, it disenigrate,thank you."

"Do the windows look dirty?"
"I don't know, I can't see through them to tell."

[Dreamstalker]

"No, I really don't think it's possible to disassemble a sonic screwdriver using itself. You seem to enjoy making my brain implode, don't you?"

[Spiffy McMoron]

"What the hell are in these boxes?" *looks in the boxes* "Oh, it's the phones for the new phone system."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Why did they get put in the room with the dripping wet roof and water on the floor?!?"