Tweet
The two worst times to go without your drug of choice are on days you have to work, and on your days off.
-
-
"You see that? That's a door... You know what's on the other side!?! ...Outside! ...We can take it there!"Comment
-
I'm actually in a surprisingly good mood considering how hard we're getting ****** in the ***.Comment
-
Welcome to uhhhhhhh.......................................... .......................... Taco Bell.Comment
-
"Hold up Boss your cookies were ok and I'ma let you finish... but Susan has the best christmas cookies!!"
Comment
-
"These people need more help than I'm allowed to give them...well, I could, but my manager and the law frowns on stuff like that.""I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
-
Well doesn't THAT just suck a lot of ass!!!!Comment
-
"What are you going to do?"
"Be Rapunzel."
"Why?"
"My hair will be really long by then."
"Can I climb it then?"
"Yes, you can."
"OK, but I will only climb it if you make a rope.""Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probablyComment
-
"Hey, you want a loveseat?"
"Already got one. It's called my lap. Wanna sit down and talk about the first thing that pops up?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Irv, are you mad your mommy was kissing Santa Claus."
"As long as he brings me good presents, he can do whatever he wants with Mommy."Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost dailyComment
-
If I weren't a married man, I'd pay to watch you and another girl make out.Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)
Comment
-
♪Santa Claus is coming to town....♫
"No he isn't."
"Why not Irv?"
"Because I shanked him and stole his sack."Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost dailyComment
-
It was like a **** bomb went off in my butt cheeks. None of it hit my pants, but it was bad enough to where I had to take another shower before coming to work.Comment
-
"uh huh, yea I'm down with O.P.P"Comment
-
Please tell me someone else responded with "Yeah, you know me."Quoth Solacelawlz View PostPWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.
There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!Comment
Comment