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"There are so many people I'd just love to toss in the compactor."
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"I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor -
"They taste like cardboard. You may as well take a piece of cardboard and butter and salt it." "You should so that next time you run out.""Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probablyComment
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"I asked for oxycontin and they wouldn't give it to me. They must know about my hillbilly background. 'No oxy for you! We know what your people do with that stuff.' ""Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probablyComment
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"I've asked you twice now. Please put the 'slut paddle' someplace the guests can't see it."Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.Comment
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"You could fuck a really tall bitch on those things!""Who loves not women, wine, and song remains a fool his whole life long" ~Martin Luther
"Always send a lazy man to the angel of death" ~Martin Luther
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"That slide really sets off my inner Grammar perfectionist!"I am so SO glad I was not present for this. There would have been an unpleasant duct tape incident. - JoiComment
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"I think that room is making you sick.""For the love of all that is holy and 4 things that aren’t but feel pretty good anyway" ~ GravekeeperComment
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"Well, why don't you make some holy water on the stove? Get a big pot of water, and boil the living hell out of it!"Comment
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"If all mythological creatures were prisoners doing community service, it would explain so many antics in fairy tales."
RapscallionComment
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"I reckon she'd die if she stopped talking"Mytical: A SC? Make a mistake? Oh goodness no. Must have been the little pink men from the planet parsley in the butternut galaxy. We all know that SC's could NEVER make mistakes.
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"I'd never do such a thing... If the glove don't fit, acquit!"Comment
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"Just gonna stash these scissors safely next to my balls."Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.Comment
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"Fuck you, puzzle."Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost dailyComment
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"Why do you lie to me, Roxy? Now the poor little PA man is gonna get all verklempt."Comment
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(I run my family's hardware store)
A little old lady walks into my store and says "My husband's nuts are too small" then holds out her hand and shows me hex nuts.
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