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I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke. -
Guys are a lot better at stuffing things than girls.Question authority, but raise your hand first. -Alan M. BershowitzComment
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"Welcome to [store], where common sense and spatial awareness go to die.""I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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CWA: "My husband just texted me to say he bought 4 C batteries. I asked him what for. He said it's a surprise."
CWB: "Maybe he's charging up your vibrator!"
Everybody:
"I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
-Mira FurlanComment
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(My boss, trying to gently break the news to me that he has yet another project for me, despite knowing full well that I'm already doing the work of two people).
Boss "I have good and bad news."
Me "ok, can I have the good news first?"
Boss "er, I actually don't have any..."Comment
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"I told him that bright blue was a horrible color, and he said I could have a say in what color they painted the building when I bought it myself! The nerve!"
"I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
-Mira FurlanComment
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"All I need right now are 20 minutes and a hammer.""I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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"When a customer comes up and I'm busy, I just shove it in my friggin' hole and help the customer.""I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
-Mira FurlanComment
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"Let the dongle hang down 12 inches."
"We're going to be putting the dongle in the rear."This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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"Here, we have a tough military man saying, 'I broke a nail.'"This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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"What do these donuts taste like?"
"They taste like steroids."This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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"What comes after three?"
"Four!"This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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"Of course, the one's that's not working is the ugliest."This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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"I didn't know chocolate had caffeine in it.""I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
-Mira FurlanComment
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"I will do substance again in October."
(Note: person who made above quote is a native English speaker)Comment
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