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"I'm not a slut; I get paid for what I do. I'm a whore, thankyouverymuch, and a d*mn good one at that!"
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"The things that I remember best - those are the things I wasn't supposed to do…."
I'm coming back as a Schooner Wharf Bar dog. -
No we don't have any more of the limited edition because it was limited.If you are thinking to yourself, "Hmmm, should I post this?" it should probably go HERE.Comment
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I needed to move your purse to get to the hooker.I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.
Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.Comment
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*Points at newspaper*
"Hey, that happened outside my house last night."
"You asspounder--I've been to your house, and that's not your house."I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!
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"I'm thirsty. One of you ladies better be lactating."
RapscallionComment
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"God it's so dead in here. Tithera, go out there and flash your legs"
*looks down at fat thighs in tight black pants* "I'm pretty sure I'd scare the customers away, except for the creepy ones."
"Hey, they pay good though. alright, B. go out and flash them."
What kind of meat is in the ham and cheese omlet?(customer)
Is the grill still hot? *places finger on metal* HOLY HELL! Why is it cold?
"What holiday's next? Isn't it labor day?"
"Dude, labor day is in september."
"What month is it now?"
*looks around at the all easter stuff.* "I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's nowwhere near september."Just because they serve you, doesn't mean they like you. And just because they smile and act polite doesn't mean they aren't planning to destroy you.
"I put the laughter in slaughter."Comment
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..."her voice is sickly sweet but her eyes! Her eyes look like they want to kill you!..."If you are thinking to yourself, "Hmmm, should I post this?" it should probably go HERE.Comment
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"Could you look at my wife's box and see what's stuffing it so full?"I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. -- Raymond ChandlerComment
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"If you ever leave us again I'm going to...to..."
"Well, you better figure it out quick cause you have, oh, just about 14 days.""The things that I remember best - those are the things I wasn't supposed to do…."
I'm coming back as a Schooner Wharf Bar dog.Comment
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"OK, let's all go sit on John now."
"It's the ultimate retail experience!""I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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"We need to get someone, cause I'm tired and my legs hurt"
"And you're still young, what are you going to do when you're my age?"
"Die"Comment
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"When a user on the phone says 'oh just walk me through this regedit thing'? Now that scares me.""I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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"Once they've got something in their mouth, it's hard for them to say 'no'".
RapscallionComment
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"Hey, I didn't punch him or anything!""Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."Comment
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Hi, this is Joe calling from xxxx, is Mr. Von Doom there?"Comment
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