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"Strippers are people too, dammit!"
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The report button - not just for decoration
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"someone just asked if they could go through the front door. how do you think i got in? im not shadowcat. or the viet cong."Kim: She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.
I'd like to exercise my constitutional right to not give a fuck.Comment
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"I think some lawyer just practically threatened me."
"Want me to break his legs? KSSHT! Right through the knees, no problem."
"I'm thinking he wouldn't speak to us after that, but thanks for the offer.""Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."Comment
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"Wow. Nothing's worse than a lame funk band."
*singing* "I fucking hate them all; they all suck... *speaking* That's my new song."
"What's it called?"
"Miko"I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!
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"they didnt give him potatoes, so he hit him."
"he hit the KFC man?!"Kim: She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.
I'd like to exercise my constitutional right to not give a fuck.Comment
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"Who needs strippers when you have friends like these?""In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case
“You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William StaffordComment
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"So, does any one know why the coffee is burning on the hot pan?"
"where did all the ducks and squirells go?!"
"It's my first day!"
"Yeah, well, It's my last day. You get to take my place as Satan's ass kisser. Say hello to her!"
"My finger, she weeps the red tears of sadness!"*holds finger dramactically*
"good, now that you got that out of your system, drip some over here so I can make salsa."Just because they serve you, doesn't mean they like you. And just because they smile and act polite doesn't mean they aren't planning to destroy you.
"I put the laughter in slaughter."Comment
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This isn't a credit reference - it's a character assassination!
RapscallionComment
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"Well, when you're dealing with such a serious force of evil as your mother...""I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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"You know not what with which you wiggle."
"She named one of her breasts, but not the other."
"I tried to send it but this evil mailbox demon popped up on the screen and said your mailbox was full and I was all like, 'Begone, evil message demon thingy!' and he was all like, 'No, I am a necessary evil.' So I unplugged the computer and hid it in the closet and that's why you never got my missive."You're not doing me a favor by eating here. I'm doing you a favor by feeding you.Comment
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"So I was thinking about the garden, and suddenly I hear that theme song from "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". And then I thought, you know what? I'm going to go home and dig up every one of those goddamn plants..."
"You know, it says sad things about my home life that I come HERE to relax.""Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."Comment
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You! Shake your junk!-"One ring to rule them all!"-Elias
-Ask yourself, "WWRKHTSCCJ:TMD?"Comment
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"Well, you told me to clean something, but I couldn't figure out what. So I thought 'what would my mom have me do?' So I picked up whatever this thing is and dusted with it. Am I to assume that's right?""Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."Comment
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"You just came in here and said 'there's this squirrel, and it's the back of it's head, it goes like this, and then it turns its head, and it looks like this- and what's it's name??' Hon, it's a SQUIRREL!! It doesn't have a NAME! It's name is Teech Knknktrgllechklenucklenuckeltch Tch tch tch, the THIRD, that's what its friggen name is!!""Respect: to admit that something one may not enjoy or prefer might still have great value." ~L. MunoaComment
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"I believe that would be dog shit.""Oh, you hate your job? There's a club for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet down at the bar." ~Drew CareyComment
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