Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[reformedwaitress]

"No sex tonight, honey. I pulled my back out moving a t-shirt."

"As long as you don'g mind me touching your boobs that's fine."

"If Val says it's okay to lie, it's okay to lie. That's my new judging standard."

"I've got a 13 year olds room right in here. It's GREAT!"

"I'm not doing anything until I get my slut."
"I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!"

"That's what it is! It's his dick dragging behind his car."

"I'm allergic to alcohol."
"Yeah, it makes him stupid."

"You should dress in drag and go get a job."

[Rapscallion]

"Ninja was here."

Rapscallion

[Dreamstalker]

"I trust you with my computer, but not with my hair."

"I'm not a sponge!"

[Sliceanddice]

"You're not a chia pet. It aint going to grow over night!!"

[Broomjockey]

"I dunno about that, S and M are pretty big."

[Spiffy McMoron]

"Oh, I fucked up."
"Somebody admitted that around here?!? Is there going to be a blue moon tonight?"

[reformedwaitress]

"You will be eating cookies or I will hang you with bathrobes. Period. Exclamation point."

"Yeah, that's it. I'm putting porn stars in my cookies now."

"Who can say they have a magician in their living room?"

"You would only be so lucky to have my batteries."

"You can see me on Cribs with my $10 DJ."

"She is the bringer of power! She is She-Ra!.............except not."

"So you can learn her how to close the bar then?"

"I never knew there was a 'proper' way to give a butt kiss."

"I say Mutph lost custody of that thing.. He let it die. I brought it back to life. It owes me."

[Rapscallion]

My wok is now a fruit bowl.

Rapscallion

[Jester]

"What do you mean, is New Orleans still open? Of COURSE it's still open!"

[Spiffy McMoron]

"I've come to the conclusion that you don't need schooling. Just drop out and work here for the rest of your life."

[Dips]

"I'm somewhat pleased that you're somewhat happy."

[B&NGoddess]

sorry...

M (upon seeing a group of african american people walk out): "was there a midnight bookclub i didn't know about?"
me: "omfg i cant believe you just said that!"

me: "man, we are rife with stereotypes in here, arent we?"

A: "walked up to my mom and asked her what the difference was if there was fabric between my legs or not."

[Rapscallion]

"No, you haven't got through to *competitor*"

Rapscallion

[Rapscallion]

"The Herbal Gerbil?"

Rapscallion

[reformedwaitress]

all i can say is, yes, this is all from the same day. same hour long conversation

"You are a hallucination inducing psychotic episode causing toad -- I will not lick you!"

"I can't make it to practice cause I'm auditioning Matt's replacement."

"If anything your dick won't be sorry."

"Dave Matthews can lick the balls I'll grow ten minutes from now."

"Slowing down is overrated."

"Sometimes you wake up and you're like 'that was a random cool weekend from nowhere'."

"It's for emergencies only. You know, car stuff and medicals. And really high bartabs."

"Let's see if my dad turned my credit card off."

"Shhhhhhhhh. I'm hiding in the jungle of Casey's hair."

"Who do I have to blow to get ice cubes around here?"

"Random Enrique moments. They're the new black."

"I've had worse things in my mouth."

"Our team's too good for us. They play on Mars."

"I haven't had to make a strawberry pain-in-my-balls in awhile. You know, if I had balls."