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"He's my hero, I want to be just like him when I grow up, rich and a prick"
"Well, you're halfway there"
"Well, you're halfway there"
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"She had a better chance at seeing God tonight than getting a damn thing in here.""The things that I remember best - those are the things I wasn't supposed to do…."
I'm coming back as a Schooner Wharf Bar dog.Comment
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"I no like the pink."
"It looks like someone puked pepto on the lights and we just let it dry. Really nice and soothing there.""The things that I remember best - those are the things I wasn't supposed to do…."
I'm coming back as a Schooner Wharf Bar dog.Comment
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"I can't change oil and get you serviced at the same time."I know nothing and I can prove it!
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"HIT HIM WITH YOUR BOTTLE!""Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."Comment
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tuesday- "man, why can't we ever lose power around here?"
wednesday- "holy shit, we lost power!"
"no you can't stay here and read! its pitch black in this building!"Kim: She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.
I'd like to exercise my constitutional right to not give a fuck.Comment
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"Get me a dirty ho! I always wanted to say that."
"I think I'm just going to take off my underwear and get it over with.""The things that I remember best - those are the things I wasn't supposed to do…."
I'm coming back as a Schooner Wharf Bar dog.Comment
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"if anyone needs me, i'll be outside crying."Comment
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I've been checking on shotguns for you on eBayHuman Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)
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"I don't mean to alarm you guys, but--"
"With you, just the phrase tells me I should be alarmed.""I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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You know, whenever L says, "KEVIN! How are ya?" I know the answer is going to be in "shitty in about 10 seconds".I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!
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"did you wanna punch that lady in the face as much as i did?"
"oooh, rice. you turn japanese?"
"no. this is brown rice. now leave the rice alone."
"geez. all right, rice nazi."
"me and rice are friends."
"still workin on that giant bowl of rice?"
k: "we need to form a voltron of blogs. me, you, J, M, and S. and each person will have a particular color."
me: "ooo, i call green!"
k: "fuck you, green's my favorite color!!"
me: "yeah, but do you wanna be pidge?"
customer: "do you know what im lookin for?"
me: "no." :walks away:Kim: She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.
I'd like to exercise my constitutional right to not give a fuck.Comment
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"Keep on like that and I'll f**k you up the arse so fast you'll wonder what that extra tonsil is doing before you realise."
RapscallionComment
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"Sometimes I just want to do gansta rap to broadway tunes."
"I'm just the guy walking around naked with someone else's rabid pit bulls on his front porch."
"I wanna be a werewolf just so I can tease my chest hair out to here. Or maybe I should just go back to the 70's and be a dad."
"When Neil says it, it's all 'Let my people go!' Or 'Everybody stand'. Or whatever. It's Neil. It's the law!!"
"He needs to be hung, shot and fired. In that order.""The things that I remember best - those are the things I wasn't supposed to do…."
I'm coming back as a Schooner Wharf Bar dog.Comment
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"Please tell me you're wearing under wear"
"I'm getting you MANTIES for christmas!!!"The report button - not just for decoration
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