Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[MystyGlyttyr]

"I have rocks in my head!"
"I have rocks in my head, too. I got them when I snorted concrete powder back at the highway department."
"....you're a strange child."

[reformedwaitress]

"I never knew oxygen took step classes. You learn something new every day!"

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"Don't you have someone else to go aggravate? Go pick on somebody your own size for a change and leave me alone."

[B&NGoddess]

m: (holding up his daughter) whats up woadie. look what i made.

[MystyGlyttyr]

"I don't know what's going on, but *boss* is raising the roof, so I'm going to watch."

[TNT]

"I keep forgetting I'm not wearing pants today."

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"He thinks that if he can keep beating on it long enough you'll feel sorry for him."

[B&NGoddess]

i consider school work, so...

professor: apparently nothin' says lovin' in Louisiana like carving your girlfriend's name into the back of the bonnie and clyde monument.

professor: i mean really, can you think of a criminal nowadays that that would draw 20,000 people to their funeral?
me: OJ!
prof: ...yeah but he's not goin' down in a hail of gunfire.
me: you never know.

k: T just called. she wanted to let us know that "the plane" is in the air.
me: "the plane" has been in the air since monday. thats a long ass flight.

[TNT]

"And then you grow up and suddenly you're afraid of monkey bars."

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"Wagon train coming through."

[Spiffy McMoron]

"They're about 12 inches too short."
"Huh. Your wife was saying the same thing..."

[reformedwaitress]

"Fine! I'LL be the smucking lesbian prostitute!"

"I wait tables. I hate everyone except my bartender."

"I don't hear random voices in my head. And the ones I do hear don't tell me to schedule spa appointments for random people i don't know."

"Why were the smucking chimpanzees doing river dance then?"

[reformedwaitress]

"He's a drama queen. 'I'll quit then!' is the waiter equivelant of screaming 'You don't love me!', running to your room, slamming the door, throwing yourself on the bed and pretending to cry just so someone will come hug you. Do NOT hug him. He needs to be strong! Besides, he'd probably molest you."

[Rapscallion]

"I got my results back and found out that I'm not lactose intolerant as was suspected. I was fine until I got home - I blacked out, and when I came around I found the remains of a banoffee pie. It was ... a grim sight. Also, tasty."

Rapscallion

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"You're killin' me."
"Yeah, yeah - you whine as much as Van does. Ya'll sure you ain't cousins?"

"Just another day in paradise"
"Tell me about - I just don't have my cheeseburger."
"If this is Paradise, I'd hate to see what Hell is like."
"Yep, this ain't Margaritaville that's for sure."