Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[reformedwaitress]

"So my otter died and I got a new alligator which was after we went down the elevator with the elephant and that shot of tequila."

"No one makes out in my loft until I f*cking make out in my loft!"

"So and so goes up for a jump shot -- OH and he's checked into the boards!"

"Why am I spitting freakin rocks?"

"I can buy that house for $300? Dude I'm freakin sold."

"Dude, I'll have to be in a casket before that ever happens."

"This is why I come here every day."

"So what do you do?"
"I'm a cokehead whore."

[Rapscallion]

"There's nothing wrong with me wearing knee-length garters beneath my lederhosen."


"Clink!"

Rapscallion

[Dreamstalker]

" 'Celestial Dire Badger'?! What the hell was the AD&D team smoking when they came up with that?"
"Whatever it was, I want some."
"You would."

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"I'm gonna take advantage of your good mood today."

[Lyger]

"It's time to drink a big cup of Quit Being a Pussy."

[Rapscallion]

"More spam, but at it doesn't involve genitalia."

Rapscallion

[MystyGlyttyr]

"What do you mean by "adult" superstore?"
"I mean adults ONLY."
"Oh. OH!"

[Lady Heather]

A Squirrel's been stealing from us! No look! He left pistachios behind as payment!

[reformedwaitress]

"I grew a dick just so upstairs close could suck it."

"I kept expecting my uterus to jump out of my stomach and slap me in the face."

"I would totally blow dry your ass."

"He can be on his deathbed for all I care I just want jewels. To hell with love."

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"I can't get it in the hole."
"Hell, even I can find a hole in the dark."
"Now look at this . . . it's all bent up. How am I supposed to get it through there?"
"Just stick it through the middle."
"I still can't get it in the hole."
"Need some K-Y?"


"I'd be better if I were lying down."
"Me too . . . just not by myself."

[crazylegs]

Pick a window, your going through it

[Spiffy McMoron]

"I can't believe mechanics! I'm looking forward to a roomful of 14 year olds now."

[Spiffy McMoron]

"I'd give her three minutes of my best."

[Rapscallion]

"Bring your hair, I'll bring my nostrils."

Rapscallion

[Tithera]

" I think the locker gnomes followed you. I've lost like 3 pens already and it's only 9:30!"

"Your pants are ripped. Why are they ripped like that? They look like a pair of holy garments."

"ob-la-di ob-la-da I've got a secret I've got from cha. I love to hate you and all that's there, cause I just spilled coffee on my pair."