Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[B&NGoddess]

me: goddamn this book is heavy. is it made out of lead?
r: brokaw has a lot to say. maybe i should write a book. call it "tom brokaw should shut the hell up."

[Alpha Strike]

And so are you Randi?

[crazylegs]

I'm a model citizen, I only asked him to move along.

[B&NGoddess]

dudes

(in the info booth. there were 4 of us in it.)
me: damn, how many dudes can we fit in here?
j: a few more dudes.

(later, in the break room. there were 6 of us in it.)
me: so how many dudes can we fit back here?
j: quite a lot more dudes.

m: hi L! (and continues on his way)
L: hi m! (to me) i smell s twat.
me: im sorry, it's me.
L:

me: are you drinkin shampoo again?

L: on a scale of 1 to 5, how bad is my herpe?
me: you got the herp? i give it a 2.
L: that's what j said!
(it was just a bad pimple, btw.)

j: (makes noises a la swedish chef from the muppets.)
L:
j: i think i just broke L!

[Luna]

*OMG - who is the Floor Leader? call K!!!

*Boss: I need to speak with you right now!
Me:
Boss: Hi.
Me:
Boss: That's all.
Me:

*Just because I said I'm sorry doesn't mean that I mean it

[SuperDan]

Have you ever wanted to kick the shit out of an old lady?

[Rapscallion]

"Sorry for the delay - I was just assaulted by a young badger with a paper aeroplane."

Rapscallion

[DGoddessChardonnay]

*click*

What are you dong?

Taking pictures

What for?

Blackmail

[SuperDan]

"I don't usually park like this. Some lady was standing there when I got here."

"Sure, that's what they all say. Next time share the alcohol."
________________________

It's pretty cold out here. I need some vodka to keep me warm. Or to keep me tolerating this place, one of the two.
________________________

"Did you bring the KY?"

"No, management won't allow that. We have to take it dry."

[Emmeileia]

"Don't hump your father! That's nasty!"

[B&NGoddess]

c: (holding up a picture of terry goodkind) this is one angry lookin dude.
j: hes just a head!
me: i think he uses a stencil to groom his beard. theres no way thats free hand.
j: its like one of those school pictures where the kid wore the wrong color shirt and he blends in with the background and all you can see is his head.
c: BUY MY BOOK BITCHES!! RAR!

[Rapscallion]

"Sorry - I just appear to be singing songs from the muppets."

Rapscallion

[Cyanocobalamin]

Let the salivation begin!

[smileyeagle1021]

"the geography of the United States may be changing soon"

[worddork]

By all that is good and sweet in Odin's bread, if you get out of your seat one more time I will tie you to your chair.