Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"If you're going to be bad, be good at it."

[DesignFox]

Me: "oooh, who sent us the cake?"
Manager: "Pakistan"

[Becks]

"I'm sick of men. I really am. If this keeps up by the time I'm 35 I'll be the permanent cover girl for Bi/Lesbian Weekly!!"

[Rapscallion]

"If I have too long off work, I end up chafing."

Rapscallion

[Mr. Security]

"I'm allergic to whiskey, it makes me drunk"

[Rapscallion]

"Bite the pillow. It's going in dry."

Rap (thanks GraveKeeper) scallion

[webchimp]

"That's ok, I'll just borrow Kelly's box"

[Cyanocobalamin]

"catholic eskimos"

"That sounded like a wet one."

[cloudiko]

"So I have this penis slowly growing in my bathtub..."

[cloudiko]

"Did you remember to wash your meat curtains?"


"Don't worry, this present is 'work appropriate'...it does not involve a vibrator or a penis."


"Question: What do I say to a guy who asked me why we have no sticks of cheese? I tried the usual method of telling him we sold them all, but that just wasn't a good enough reason..."

[RetailActress]

"There's too many folds in my crotch!"

[crazylegs]

Q) Sorry, what is the update on the last job?
A) Yes yes.

[reformedwaitress]

"I am not a mothersmucking Smurf!"

[Spiffy McMoron]

I'm just going to blow this to see what's wrong.

[coldcupofjoe]

Rub some vaseline around the hole then shove this in and out a few times. That'll make sure it seated right.