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s: where's andre rieu now?
me: over here.
s: god who buys this shit?
me: dunno. but hes coming to town in april i think.
s: ooooh, get me a tissue, my panties are wet.
me: no one noticed the elephant shit?
m: hey, did you know that j finally matured as a human being?
me: he got his period?
j: what?
me: ooh, this looks icy, id better be care--::slips and falls:: FUCK!
me: i dont know what it was, but this one lady smelled like she had some sort of fungus growing or something.
j: mustard crotch.
me: oh god, i was thinking mushrooms, but mustard crotch works.
me: its a goomba!
Kim: She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.
I'd like to exercise my constitutional right to not give a fuck.
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