Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[crazylegs]

'If it looks like hot chocolate, you're doing it right!'

[crazylegs]

'Anything you want to get while we're here, you'll be in a car all day with me?'
'Razor Blades?'
'Ooh, you bitch '

[Rapscallion]

"I am Tofu Ninja! No, ninja!"

Rapscallion

[Jadedcarguy]

"I had to serve a subpoena"


"What? You had to service a penis??"

[Igorina]

It's Science! We don't NEED a reason.

Boss? If 'blue balls' refers to a sexually frustrated male, what does it mean when a female has blue hands? (shows blue-gloved hands)

[GingerBiscuit]

"They killed my sheepy friends!"
"I'm not strong enough to kill a chicken. I'd have to hold it down instead"

"You're selling your SOUL."
"Yeah, but at least it's a decent price."

[edible_hat]

(not at my usual job, but at my other "job" of a university student)
"Well this would have worked a lot better if some people knew what they were doing."
"One got through! It says "you have AIDS". It must be a virus."

[Diablo]

I got a side job working at the school I'm going to. One of the kids that work with me ask my opinion if it was a good idea to ask our supervisor out on a date.
My response "Don't ever shit in your backyard. Sure its convenient but after a few days, it starts to stink". No truer words were given to me by my drunk, deadbeat dad...

[Artimis]

"Do you need some crutches? I happen to have a pair with me."

[Rapscallion]

"I got to work feeling fine. Within an hour, I'd aged about twenty years."

Rapscallion

[Dips]

"Anyone who argues that there wasn't a conspiracy...I call 'em a coincidence theorist."

[crazylegs]

'I normally squeeze instead of pull'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's been a big spike in car breaks recently
Oh really, why's that?
People aren't wiping their rings

[crazylegs]

Cleaner:- Is this rubbish?
Officer:- Uh, no its evidence!

[edible_hat]

"I can't break this window, but I reckon my master could."

[iradney]

"and then he whipped it out and her eyes went "