Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Boochan]

"Uhh... Did you say that you would so go down on that guy across from us in the Fone Zone right now?"

[wagegoth]

"Is that drink flaming?"

"No, but the waiter is."

[crazylegs]

Is your car scared of the kerb?

[edible_hat]

"Bananas! That's why!"

[JoitheArtist]

"She didn't shave my picture!"

[smoorman76]

"Look, I burned my fingerprints off."
"Cool, if I need something stolen, I'll call you."

[Shangri-laschild]

"I guess that's better than coming over and putting a size 11 on top of him"

[edible_hat]

"Next time that happens, just flush it three times."

[Parrothead]

"At least I don't run around like a two-year-old on crack!"
"I don't know what neighborhood you're from, but where I'm from, we wait 'til they're FOUR!"

[crazylegs]

Right, we're going to need handcuffs, cling film and some whipped cream.

[unclejampuff]

"Gilgamesh! GILGAMESH! GILGAMESH!!!!! I HAD BETTER SEE SOME KILLING IF Y'ALL WANT A RAISE!!!!!!!"

[RetailWorkhorse]

"What's the tree with the red marijuana leaves?"

[RetailWorkhorse]

"Okay, H, you wanna be top or bottom?"

[edible_hat]

"Just a quick screw in there should fix it."

"This time I'm actually going to take all my crap home."

"How could you not see that car? It's like 500 feet long!"

"I tell ya, if I have any more kids I'm getting a limo."

[Dark-Star]

"If I see just one more paper airplane around here, people are going to start disappearing without explanation."

"*ripping off headphones* Allright! Who the **** changed the windows startup sound?!"

"I'm amazed that addlebrained redneck knew which end of the phone to talk into. Probably been into the moonshine again or something." (phone customer waaay out in the boonies in TN)

"Hey -------, how do I explain to this guy how to give his grain bids?"

"They cannot all be down. All those phones CANNOT be down...not at once...there is no possible way...oh damn we are so screwed."